Never underestimate the power of brooding as an industrial-strength panty solvent.
Don't believe me? Let me demonstrate. Take a look at this picture of Piers Morgan, who is largely regarded as the worst British export since Bovine spongiform encephalopathy. Horrifying, I know. You could use that picture to scare the Deep Ones off your beach. But look at it a second time while listening to this and this and old Piers doesn't look so bad. In fact, he starts to look startlingly suave.
And that's why we should outlaw music.