The PS3 admitted to me that it was designed to be difficult to program on purpose. I explained that having the most expensive system with the fewest games wasn't really a winning strategy. The PS3 then pointed out that it had a Blu-ray player. I told it that civilized people were streaming their videos these days. The PS3 got all defensive and told me that its formidable heft made it an excellent melee weapon. I pointed out that a gold brick would be a cheaper and more lightweight face-bludgeoning solution.
I think that last comment pissed it off. It must have bashed me in the head and drank the rest of my booze, because when I woke up I had a massive headache and the whiskey was gone.
So that's my take on the PS3. It costs too much, it weighs too much, and it drinks too much.
Travis Taylor is a longtime writer and reviewer for Gamepunx magazine, and would love to know what the f*** he's supposed to do with his PS3 now that he's done with Killzone 2. You can send him suggestions at [email protected].