Movies and TV
Five Films That Should Never, Ever Be Remade

Shant Istamboulian | 24 Jun 2015 12:00
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BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986)

What is with remaking every single John Carpenter film? One was pretty good (Assault on Precinct 13), while the rest (The Fog, Halloween, The Thing) were utterly forgettable.

Recently, it was announced that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson would headline a new version of this cult hit. A part of me died as I was reminded of what ol' Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) used to say: "What the hell?" Why would anyone want to remake Big Trouble in Little China? In a strange way, the film was of its time as well as slightly ahead. A glorious mix of action, comedy, and fantasy, Carpenter's film mixed elements of the Western (his favorite genre) with touches of Eastern mysticism. Russell is unforgettable as trucker Burton, a sort of blue collar Indiana Jones who gets sucked into a kidnapping ploy involving legendary sorcerer Lo Pan (James Hong).

Like most of Carpenter's film, China was a big bust when released in the summer of '86. It's as nutty and entertaining as it was back then, and it's highly unlikely a modern remake would replicate its uniqueness. The only cold comfort I get from the news is that another Carpenter fave, Escape from New York, has been languishing in development hell for ages. One hopes China joins it.

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