Guy Cry Cinema
5 Meta Horror Movies that Make Guys Cry

Firefilm | 1 Oct 2014 09:00
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Guy Cry horror movies: 9x4

Horror movies can be tearjerkers, too -- especially these 5 meta-horror masterpieces.

The goal of this series is to show that being "manly" and being disconnected with your emotions do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. While the approach to these articles is one of comedy and satire, the emotional core of these movies is very valid. Manly movies make guys cry, for example:

Meta Horror Films

Meta means "referring to itself or the conventions of its genre" and recent pop culture has reveled in this unabashedly. People love to be on the inside of an "inside joke," and when millennials watch a movie that references another movie that they've also seen they eat it up. Horror movies have a strong history of this, from direct to indirect references sprinkled throughout the murder and mayhem. In honor of the months getting colder, darker and spookier, let's dive into some seriously scary -- and emotional -- fright flicks. Boo!

We're trying something new on this one, because I love me some horror movies. Multiple movies, all sharing the same theme, and all making guys cry sounds fun to me. Usually this paragraph is dedicated to how a specific movie qualifies as manly, but with 5 different ones it has to be broader. That being said, the horror genre in general is seen as a date movie only in that guys take girls in hopes that the fear will raise hormone levels, which can lead to cuddling...or more! (Lightning strikes in background, ominously!) Like I've said before, gore and violence are always associated with manly movies, but that doesn't mean these slasher-flicks with their self-referential humor won't make you reach for the tissues.

1. Cabin in the Woods


The reveal of this film is that horror movies actually happen, or at least horror movies and the monsters that inhabit them are trickled down ideas from true sources. Vampires, ghosts, and killer zombies all exist, and are used as tools to enact ritual sacrifices to a slumbering elder god, lest he wake and end the world.


The downside is that the evil deity demands certain sacrifices, and when none are available, this secret bureaucratic society creates them in the form of ready-to-order horror movie tropes. You could be a completely innocent teen, getting good grades and trying to save up for a car, next thing you know you're pumped with I.Q.-lowering gas and libido enhancers, forced to act like a dumb bimbo for an hour, whore yourself out to a stranger, and then get murdered by a hillbilly zombie.

The hell man, that's not fair! Usually horror movies have rules, and we cheer when the protagonists break said rules. Now we find that the inherent system is actually a designed, bureaucratic system? That instead of a strange preternatural morality controlling our fate, we have the bad guy from Billy Madison trying to appease Galactus? Boo, sir. Boo-hoo sir. Consider how long this system has theoretically been in place, in how many countries, and you'll find yourself saddled with a considerable weight of depression.

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