Guy Cry Cinema
The Oscar-Winning Movies That Cause Big, Manly Tears

Firefilm | 9 Jul 2015 12:00
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2. Platoon
A war movie with Charlie Sheen before we lost all respect for him, and Johnny Depp before he became a walking cartoon character? Yes please! This is often referred to as one of the best war movies ever made. Set during the Vietnam War, the plot is basically "everyone kills everyone and then the surviving wounded goes home," until you look closer.
The really sad part about this film is that everyone keeps trying to injure themselves to get out of war. On guy sprays bug repellent on his feet, another stabs his own leg...really the enemy doesn't have to do anything but wait for our guys to keep friendly-firing and self-injuring themselves. The horror of war being so bad that these men lose their minds, commit self-harm, kill each other for seeing them kill still others...it's horrifying.

And the overarching theme of the film tends to be, "the better you are at war, the less human you become." No wonder it got Oscars, with that kind of nihilism.

3. Unforgiven
When you picture Clint Eastwood in his prime, stubble on his face, poncho and hat, as manly as he can be...you're probably picturing this movie. This revisionist western was produced, directed AND starring that grizzled Clint, who still would play a perfect old man Logan if ever they would let him (and if he wasn't busy talking to chairs). The plot concerns a group of former gunfighters seeking a bounty on a couple of miserable bastards who disfigured a woman. Along the way old grudges, old reputations, and the old men losing their taste for violence contribute to lots of horror and misery That could get old quickly, but when you throw Morgan Freeman and Gene Hackman in for good measure, the entire movie is exactly how we modern city slickers imaging the old Wild West to be. Or is it?

The entire theme of the film is that the Wild West is not what anyone imagines. The Schofield Kid realizes that killing for money makes him sick. Munny, the character played by Eastwood, knows damn well that he has to sacrifice his "good guy" persona to provide for his kids. And one old gunfighter brings along a biographer who learns how many legends of the west are outright lies told by the victors and survivors. That's...bleak.

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