Guy Cry Cinema
5 Movies About The Sanctity of Football To Make Guys Cry

Firefilm | 19 Nov 2015 12:00
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4. The Replacements
Sometimes you just need a good football comedy to cleanse the palette, without being so goofy that it's no longer about football. This film is that film, and focuses on the importance of playing the game because you love it, not because you want a second beach house. When the over-paid, pompous, prima donna players go on strike because they don't think their multi-million dollar salaries are high enough, Gene "Luthor" Hackman collects a team of replacement players including Keanu "Neo" Reeves. The players enact the trope of winning not because they are bigger or have more endorsement deals, but because they have more heart. Ultimately that's the romanticized image we all want to believe our sports heroes have, that they play for the game and not the riches. A fun movie and a good football game to boot.

Of course you'd want Keanu to fly off and fight robots, or at least get an endorsement deal at the end. Instead he goes back to cleaning boats, but with the satisfaction of being a sports hero one more time. That sounds very noble, but the average mashed potato-covered movie viewer is left wanting a somewhat sweeter ending for dessert.

5. Little Giants

Something funny and sweet to end the gluttony of food and football, Little Giants is one of the rare-yet-perfect films with Rick Moranis. A classic Hollywood sports movie trope is to have a team made up of misfits and rejects congealed into a winning combination, and this is my pick for the best representation of that for football. Elevating the notion that it truly does matter who wants the win more, Rick "Keymaster" Moranis and his rag tag group of kids face off against the better funded, more publicized team run by his older more successful brother Ed "Al Bundy" O'Neill. With everyone constantly underestimating the underdogs, Rick uses that to his advantage and wins the day. It's just the best.

What makes you sad in this film is the romantic B-plot. Rick Moranis has a tomboy daughter who develops a crush with one of the male players. It's revealed that the mother of that player is Rick's childhood sweetheart. Unless his daughter wants to date her step-brother, at some point they are going to have a difficult discussion on whose relationship needs to end so the other can succeed. That's just a bad time for everyone.

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