Guy Cry Cinema
5 Not-Really Christmas Movies that Make Guys Cry

Firefilm | 7 Jan 2016 16:30
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2. Iron Man 3

Another action movie that doesn't have to be set at Christmas, yet the groundwork of the holiday is everywhere. Tony gives Pepper an enormous stuffed bunny as a present, there is snow on the ground, even the ending resolution is solidified with a "Merry Christmas" from Mr. Stark. Like a Marvel studios version of Die Hard, you can make the case that this film can be watched all year round, but should be watched during Christmas time. Robert Downey Jr.'s comedic timing is at it's best, armor fanatics get their fix and then some, and the plot ties the entire trilogy together in what I feel is a perfect bow.

What gets us needing the specialized crying armor? Gary, the guy in the news van. Gary was a Tony Stark superfan and helped Tony get mission critical information. What did he get in return? Nothing. Hell, all the kid did was act as a sounding board for Tony to think out loud, and he got a garage full of expensive toys. Sorry Gary, at least you have your tattoo.

3. Batman Returns

After Batman Begins, it's easy to forget that Tim Burton's first two Batman films were the entire reason we don't have casting rumors of who will take the place of Adam West. For all his eccentricities, Tim Burton created a serious, stylized Batman for the silver screen that we're still feeling the ripples from. Batman Returns was the second film after Tim proved that Batman could get by without Bat-Shark Repellant. Navy Blue, White and Black are the colors, Michelle Pfeiffer ushered an entire generation of boys into manhood, and Danny DeVito was genetically bread to be the Penguin. Plus you have Christopher Walken running around for some reason or's a fantastic Batman film...that just happens to take place on Christmas. Most lines mentions something about the holiday, there's a Gotham tree-lighting ceremony as a set piece, and if you look closely in the dance scene, someone is wearing a Chanukah Menorah hat. MENORAH HAT!

The sad part? Penguin is a villain created from the 1%. His parents, Pee-wee Herman and some other lady pull a "Moses" and drop him into a river. A frozen river ON CHRISTMAS that dumped into an oddly sized sewer. At least in Egypt it was warm.

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