Guy Cry Cinema
5 Movies with Horrible Presidents that Make Guys Cry

Firefilm | 18 Feb 2016 12:00
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2. The Hunger Games

Really any of the films in this series work, but we'll throw the first one on this list as a tribute (see what I did there?). A society existing after the world fell, it really doesn't look like humanity was that badly hurt by the apocalypse. Everything would have been perfect had it not been for President Snow, a man who begs the question of whether his parents knew he would have a glorious white beard when they named him. For those of you who've seen the movies or read the books (and honestly it's okay to admit it now guys, it's got Mystique in it) you'll know that President Snow makes all other antagonists in this series look like mini-bosses. He's evil enough to keep most of humanity under his thumb but super evil enough to even kill his companions to increase his control. A movie mirroring society's frustration with the one percent, President Snow is that one percent congealed into a person and made into an asshole. But damn is that a fine beard.

This is a Y.A. novel adaption, so what isn't an action scene is a teen angst drama. That being said, what guys are going to really get hit in the feels on is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. This man was a schlub, yet his acting chops let him jump from sophomoric comedy to heavy-hitting drama. Dying before this series was complete, they had to use computers to complete his performance. Every time we notice the transition, a tear is shed.

3. Mars Attacks!

Remember when Tim "Eye Shadow" Burton made a cross between an Independence Day spoof and a 1940's alien invasion movie? WHY NOT?! It's fantastic! This is a crazy movie and for some reason it has Tom Jones in it, as well as a host of other cameos and celebrities. The short synopsis is that green skeleton brain aliens attack Earth, and if not for an allergy to yodeling music all would be lost. Who dares step in to the spoof-shoes of Bill Pullman? No other than Jack Nicholson, who also plays a spoof of Donald Trump for a double header! Jack isn't necessarily an incompetent president to be fair, or evil, though he does do a good job of running away during the entire film. In the end he makes a hand gesture during an impassioned speech to the aliens suggesting that Earth is bigger than Mars. It's the little things in politics, right? Yeah, they kill him dead.

This movie was never really sad until recently when the Senate decided that they didn't want to government anymore but would rather be Walter Peck from Ghostbusters and exist only to stop others from doing their jobs. I want a gif of President Jack Nicholson in this movie saying "I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad!"

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