MovieBob - Intermission
The 50 Most Boring Opinions In Geek Culture - Part I

Bob Chipman | 21 Dec 2012 12:00
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Opinions. We all have them. Geek Culture is all about having strong feelings about things, after all.

But y'know, it's a funny thing. If you're here for long enough, eventually you end up hearing some opinions way, way too often. Eventually you'd think certain things would just get settled if for no other reason than the whole subject has by now been argued to death. But, no ... instead we watch month after month, year after year, as the same fights break out either for or against the same tired declarations.

So I thought it might be time to make a list. Not a list of the arguments themselves, or even necessarily my own feelings on the matter. But a very, very specific list of the "subjective truisms" that I'm the most utterly sick of seeing bandied about endlessly after all this time - yes, even when I'm the one offering the opinions. In fact, I made special care to include as many boring opinions that I actually agree with as possible.

And so, here we go. Numbers 50 through 25 of the most eye-rolling, "Here we go again" declarative sentences still clogging up the web, the convention circuit and even your local comic book store. The opinions so boring, they almost make you want to change your mind just so you might sound more interesting.

50. Dragon Ball Z is overrated by American audiences.

Really? People became very attached to the first anime series they ever really got into and as such tend to favor it over whichever "better" series you think deserves some of that attention?

How about that.

49. Johnny Depp is overexposed.

Why, yes. Yes he is. Tremendously so. Y'know how overexposed Johnny Depp is right now? So overexposed that continuously pointing this out is staggeringly redundant. Everyone knows. His fans know. He knows.

They just don't care.

48. Pre-1990s Disney Princesses were lacking in agency.

A group of female characters created primarily before the mid-1960s don't live up to present-day standards of progressive/empowered womanhood? Nice find there, Holmes.

Also, this is one of those moments where I think some context is in order. Yes, the likes of Snow White and Cinderella aren't exactly Hillary Clinton, but it's worth noting that the mere presence of a female protagonist as the audience-perspective character wasn't exactly typical of those eras. Cinderella has five main human characters, four of whom are women including the heroine and main villain, and the whole story plays out in their world based around their power dynamics. Prince Charming, the only male, is a plot device.

This film was released in 1950.

47. Putting nipples on the bat-suit ruined the Batman movies.

No they didn't.

46. Joel Schumacher ruined Batman.

No he didn't.

45. The Hobbit is too short of a book to be three movies.

Possibly, but, we all recognize that there isn't an exact mathematical equation for adaptation, yes? I mean, World War II can be handily summarized in six words: "The Allies Won. The Axis Lost." And yet most movies made on the subject tend to run rather long.

44. You only think [movie/show/game] is good because you saw it when you were a kid.

9 times out of 10 when this is said, it's true. That's why it's boring - because everyone who hears it knows it, even if they tell themselves otherwise.

43. Mass Effect 3's ending was bad.

Seriously, folks, at some point we're going to have to accept that every possible variation on this point has been made. Many times. There's no meat left on the bones.

42. Mass Effect 3's ending was good.

See above.

41. Cutscenes ruin videogames and are unnecessary.

No, bad cutscenes do that. Used properly, cutscenes can be a nice reward, a good way to expand a story or (at worst) a harmless auteur indulgence. It's been argued that cutscenes make games "impure" by injecting a passive art form (movies) into an interactive one. I wonder if people who think so also object to movies being made impure by the occasional inclusion of songs.

40. Link/Mario/etc. should not speak full sentences (or at all).

I may or may not agree with this sentiment overall, but the reason it's boring is because it usually boils down to "Because they haven't before."

Tradition for the sake of tradition? Snooze.

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