MovieBob - Intermission
Let's All Watch The Batman Trailer

Bob Chipman | 23 Dec 2011 12:00
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Y'know, it just this second dawned on me how pretentious it is that the later two Christopher Nolan Batman movies don't have the word "Batman" anywhere in their titles - as though the filmmaker is standing off-screen, nose upturned, sniffing, "Feh! No, no, no... 'Bat-Man!?' Bah! Sounds far too comic booky for my very, very serious, very, very realistic crime dramas about the man with the pointy ears and cape."

Oh, calm down. I kid because I love. Nolan and company are very talented, and as eager as I am to see Hollywood put the grim and gritty superhero thing to bed the same way comics did after The Decade That Must Not Be Named, no one can seriously deny they've done a good job with it. In any case, there's a new full trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, in which both Batman and his director will face their most insurmountable challenges ever. For Batman, maintaining his composure in the presence of Anne Hathaway in a latex catsuit. For Nolan, trying to make something useful out of one the lamest comic book characters ever created.

Here we go, frame by frame. (NOTE: Time stamps based on the version of the video.)

00:08 Little kid singing at a football game. In the business, we call this a cold open - i.e., starting off in a place where the audience is unable to discern with specificity exactly what they're watching until a familiar character/location/motif suddenly appears. Given what directly follows, this would be crazy effective, if the succession of Warner Bros./DC Comics/etc. logos preceding it didn't totally give it away.

00:11 One of the teams is apparently The Rogues. I'd really love it if they were the visiting team, and from Star City. Because I am a nerd. (Also: The "R" in Rogues seems to be done in Robin's typeface - make of that what you will.)

00:13 - 00:16 Given the setting, if you don't already know that this is Tom Hardy as Bane one could be forgiven for assuming this is simply an average Raiders fan.

00:17 - 00:19 Stately Wayne Manor, one assumes. Someone is walking with a cane. We are meant to infer (though it may be a fake-out) that this is Bruce Wayne, recuperating from the events of a story arc that I promise you is not as awesome as you remember it being. Question: Why is the furniture covered and why is Bruce getting his own food? Has something happened to Alfred? (Probably a good time to remind everyone that this one is supposed to take place a full eight years after the end of the last one.)

00:20 - 00:28 Speak of the devil. Michael Caine, as Alfred, either apologizing to Bruce Wayne for something or giving him the business - it's a little unclear.

00:29 Ooooh! A rare natural habitat glimpse of the world's most powerful Screen Credit! Legend says its mere presence has the power to make fanboys forget how to be critical - take a picture!

00:32 - 00:38 People talking behind Commissioner Gordon's back at some kind of dinner/memorial/event thing in honor of the late Harvey Dent (that's his picture on either side of Gordon). One assumes the idea is that Batman and Gordon have made good on their thought-up-on-the-spot plan to cover up Dent's transformation into Two Face and use him as a martyr to spur Gotham's anti-crime zeal. Hence the two smug cops who think Gordon is being dumped from his post because he's a "war (on crime?) hero" and this is "peacetime."

Gee, it sure would be ironic if turned out that peacetime makes Gotham lower its guard and fall prey to evil, thus teaching everyone the lesson that peace can only be won by leaders who are constantly ready/eager for war, huh? Nolanverse Batman: your source for uncomfortably positive imaginings of the Cheney doctrine since 2008!

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