Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 - The Worst Movie of 2015

Matthew Parkinson | 19 Apr 2015 12:00
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There's no humor, no heart, no intelligence, and no reason for you to waste your money on it.

Does anyone care about the plot? Maybe one of you? Okay. Blart and his daughter (Raini Rodriguez) go to Las Vegas to attend a conference for mall cops, or something. But there's a villainous plan afoot, so after 45 minutes of goofing off and doing absolutely nothing of value, Blart has to jump - or waddle, if I'm using the film's humor - into action and save the day. Yes, basically just like the first movie. There are a couple of subplots, like how Blart still treats his daughter like she's 12 even though she's about to go off to college, but none of them work or are given much screen time. It's mostly just Blart goofing off while doing very little, followed by Blart joking his way through action scenes.

The movie's incompetency would be tolerable if it was funny, but, at least for me - and for the audience with whom I saw the film; there was maybe a single laugh in the entire film, and it came from a scene in the trailer - there isn't anything funny here. A bad comedy is the worst kind of movie, since the hook winds up failing you, and bad comedies are usually awful outside of the humor, too, so there's nothing to latch onto once you realize you're not going to be laughing. If you need an example of a horrible comedy - for research, or because you love wasting money to see trash - then by all means go see Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.

Paul Blart 2 CineMarter #2

I can't even explain to you why we're supposed to like Blart as a character. He's a jerk, he's overly controlling, he's rude, he's obnoxious, he's clueless, and he's smug. Why are we rooting for him? His attitude attempts to be explained away as loneliness, but the film doesn't have the depth or intelligence to pull that off. Oddly enough, the film's first few scenes actually treat Blart like the awful person he is - before forgetting that and worshiping him instead.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is another Happy Madison production in which its stars get a paid vacation to a destination of their choice - and also they film some scenes that are cobbled together into something that almost resembles a real movie. There's no humor, no heart, no intelligence, and no reason for you to waste your money on it.

Bottom Line: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is a horrible movie from start to finish with absolutely nothing present that's redeemable or even competent.

Recommendation: I can't imagine anyone having even a slight semblance of a good time with Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Forget it exists.


If you want more of Matthew "Marter" Parkinson, you can follow him on the Twitter @Martertweet and check out his weekly movie podcast.

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