CineMarter
The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) - As Horrible as You'd Expect

Marter | 24 May 2015 12:00
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The more you see something, the more mundane it becomes - and we've seen this too much for it to still have much of an impact.

After three films, is this premise still shocking? Sure, Bill Boss' rants are despicable, and creating a human centipede is disgusting, but we've seen the latter before, and the former becomes more tiresome than offensive. The worst part about this franchise is how boring they all are. Once you've seen this once, adding on more pieces doesn't really change anything. The plots are very similar, the characters are creepy but nothing more, and there's nothing to really take away from them apart from the "that's gross" factor. The more you see something, the more mundane it becomes - and we've seen this too much for it to still have much of an impact.

Dieter Laser was the highlight of the first Human Centipede film, turning in an incredibly creepy performance in the leading role. He could make your skin crawl every moment he was on-screen. Here, he's too hammy and over-the-top to do that, even though he tries really, really hard. There isn't a politically incorrect phrase he doesn't use as Bill Boss, and there's no action he won't take in hopes of getting a rise out of an audience. It's tiresome, much like the entire movie - and much like the entire franchise. Laurence R. Harvey was also creepy when he was the lead of the second film. This time around, he's just kind of there. Eric Roberts, who many years ago was nominated for an Oscar - something that Academy probably regrets at this point - shows up for a couple of scenes as a Governor who's not exactly fond of Boss and his prison. Bree Olson probably turns in the "best" performance, even if that isn't saying much. Everything is just awful.

Human Centipede 3 CineMarter #2

About the only positive I have to say about The Human Centipede 3 is that, somehow, it's still funnier than Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. It's not much better, rest assured, but I got at least one laugh from this one, so technically it wins, I guess. That's something, right? Sure, they're both atrocious pieces of cinema that nobody in their right mind should see, but at least this one contains at least a single laugh during its running time. So, congratulations, Human Centipede 3; you are not worse than Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.

Really, though, there's nothing to like about The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence). I only hope that the "Final Sequence" part of that title winds up being correct. We don't need more Human Centipede movies. We didn't need these ones. Maybe the first works as shock horror - it didn't for me, but that probably tells you more about me than it - but the second and third didn't work at all. Tom Six needs to move on and work on something new.

Bottom Line: We didn't need a new Human Centipede, particularly one that's as dull and self-congratulatory as this one.

Recommendation: Shock horror fans have hopefully already moved on, but if you haven't, now's the time to do so.

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If you want more of Matthew "Marter" Parkinson, you can follow him on the Twitter @Martertweet and check out his weekly movie podcast.

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