Dante's Inferno comments off the port bow!

"The lustful being blown around on the wind is supposed to be a reference to how they are blown about through their lives by temptation and desire."

See, I get the impression that Dante was flying by the seat of his pants somewhat when he was writing the Inferno, especially with regards to all that ironic punishment business. Some of it works alright: people who commit violence go to the river of boiling blood, fair enough. But with things like the big windstorm on the Lust circle, it just seems like he was coming up with the punishments first and the sins later, tying them together with the first piece of bullshit off the top of his head. You could tie the wind thing to virtually any other sin with the right far-fetched explanation: Maybe it's the hell for suicides because it symbolizes the wind to which they cast their own lives. Or maybe it's the hell for gluttons because it symbolizes the wind they used to emanate after visiting the all-you-can-eat Tex Mex restaurant. It would only be completely appropriate as the hell for stormchasers or inaccurate weather forecasters.

And it might be hard to come up with ironic punishments for things like simony and usury, but lust's easy. Here's one I just came up with: You have to spend eternity getting sucked off by your gran. And she only stops to take her teeth out half-way through.

"From day one, people were shouting "god of war rip off" and I was expecting Yatzee to be a bit more original."

Do you know why people were shouting "God of War rip off" from day one? Because that's what it fucking is. What do you want from me? Darksiders and Bayonetta differ from God of War in many various ways, but any reviewer or critic who claims not to notice that Dante's Inferno is a wholesale copy was either paid off or has something wrong with their brain. Look: the combat controls are the same. The camera is the same. The art style is the same. The graphics even look to be on a similar level of technology, which is weird, because God of War was on the PS2 and Dante's Inferno is allegedly current-generation. You're a bare-chested berserker fighting off mythology with ridiculously big weapons and various upgradeable spells, pausing every fifty yards to crack open prize boxes and chow down on the souls within. And there're Quick Time Events and wall climbing. It's shameless.

The only real difference is that Kratos wasn't looking for his missus, because she was already dead at the start of God of War 1. Although Kratos himself has died and clawed his way out of Hades about fifty times by my count, so I'm surprised he hasn't just pulled an Orpheus on that shit.

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