Extra Punctuation

Extra Punctuation
Upcoming Games Won't Suck, Hopefully

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw | 21 Jun 2011 12:00
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As promised, I'm going to give out some quick capsule thoughts on a selection of the third party game trailers from E3 to discourage anyone from getting excited, but first I'd just like to quickly address David Jaffe's statement The Escapist reported on last week: that game critics need to call developers out more often on always doing the same old shit. Fuck yes, man, and I'm doing the best I can from my end of the trench, but I think everyone has to split the blame for the state of the industry - the press, the creators, and the audience that keep buying it. Besides, this coming from David Jaffe, David "Twisted Metal, Twisted Metal 2, Twisted Metal Black, Twisted Metal Head On: Extra Twisted Edition and Twisted Metal Again" Jaffe, smacks a little of a five-year-old faecal artist trying to blame his older sister for not tattling on him fast enough.

Anyway, my first thought for this column was to only give coverage at all to the games that weren't sequels, reboots or spin-offs, but it soon became clear that it would be a pretty fucking short column in that case. It would pretty much just be about Dead Island, and even that, I mean blimey, if the zombie thing was overdone five years ago it's jerky by this point. So let's be less discerning and dive into some trailers. Obviously it's tough to swing this with my usual policy of not watching or playing anything that might taint my eventual review with hype and expectation, so I'm just going to watch one trailer for each property and extrapolate from there.

BioShock Infinite

Okay, that's one way to innovate, I suppose, setting it in the sky rather than the sea. Not that it seems to matter as long as the city's isolated in some way, just as BioShock didn't have any swimming, I doubt Infinite will have any platforming sections either (well, there's some flying around but it's literally on rails). Am I the only person who kind of prefers FPS protagonists to be silent? I mean, except maybe the ones who only ever talk to themselves like Thief's Garrett, because I feel kind of left out when there's a conversation going on and one of the voices appears to be floating out from under my balls.

Assassin's Creed Revelations

I guess the "revelation" is that Assassin's Creed isn't going to be about exploring a new time period each game, Blackadder-style, as I originally believed to be the case after 1 and 2, because it's more faffing about with Altair and Ezio again. Now, I like Assassin's Creed, and what I've always liked about it is the way it encourages sneaky stealthy thoughtful approaches to quick surgical strikes before slipping off into the crowd. So when the trailer depicts Ezio having a big old crazy scrap with like a hundred guys, my fingers grope for my temples. Still, the trailer is entirely pre-rendered cinematic, which means we can basically completely write it off as far as representing the finished product goes. Nothing illustrates this better than:

Dead Island

... whose gameplay trailer deserves some kind of award for killing 90% of the interest that would have been created from the first trailer. The first trailer (pre-rendered) being a heartbreakingly good, artistic, non-linear depiction of the final tragic moments of a vacationing white bread family in the zombie apocalypse, and the gameplay trailer telling the tale of some irresponsible drinkers swinging machetes about. Still, looks like something I might get some fun out of, but definitely nothing like anything the first look implied.

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