No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Zombies Are Better Than Vampires

Firefilm | 29 Oct 2012 12:00
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Last week, the guys discussed which zombie film had the best zombies, and this week continue the discussion for your reading enjoyment.


Chris: Want to know a secret about me? I can't stand horror movies. Be they slashers, B-grade, or of the monster variety, I really can't muster up a single crap to give. I've seen all 7 Saw movies, not because I thought they were good (well...first one is fine), but because it was a blast to watch my friend Other Chris watch them. But sit me down and ask me to watch something like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, or anything with a guy in a monster suit and I will be utterly bored to tears, especially if I'm supposed to have fun with how bad a movie is and that's why it's "good."

I tell you this because zombies as they generally appear in movies are utterly boring. I don't get jazzed by seeing people holed-up, struggling to survive for days on end with little food. I've read The Walking Dead through volume 11 and while I think it's written amazingly, I also wanted at least one moment where I was allowed to have fun. Hence why last week's debate about Best Zombie Movie Ever had me firmly in love with Zombieland.

Maybe I should have expected it a bit, but the majority of commenters don't just love Shaun of the Dead, they actively hate anyone who doesn't, which I couldn't quite get. Oh don't misunderstand, I get why people love the movie. It's smartly written, smartly acted, and smartly directed. I would absolutely watch it again, no questions asked. But when someone has a dissenting opinion, man, it gets the blood of some people boiling fast.

To better explain my choice for Zombieland, as I've been building up to, zombies and by extension all monsters or non-human enemies fail to excite me just by virtue of existing, but the experience of totally wasting said zombies, monsters, or non-human enemies can give my adrenaline levels a huge boost. That final sequence of Zombieland where Woody Harrelson goes around the amusement park mowing through wave after wave of the undead is the quintessential example of what we'd all actually love to do if a zombie apocalypse ever did occur and it happened to follow the magical made-up rules we put on it. You can disagree with whether you liked the movie or the scene, but I refuse to believe you wouldn't rather be on that roller coaster than holed-up in a pub without a chance of survival.

Think of the recent Call of Duty games for a moment. It's become standard to add a zombie survival mode to those. Why is that? Is it because we want some survival-horror elements with our first-person shooters? No, it's because capping Nazi zombies is stupid-fun, yo! Same applies to Resident Evil 4, Dead Rising, and Left 4 Dead. Those are games that make zombie murder fun. Zombieland is the movie equivalent of that for me, akin to how The Avengers was able to make being the Hulk fun again.

So can you like a different movie? Absolutely. Our show isn't here to be the end-all answer to pop culture questions but merely one possible way for them to play out. But am I any less of a person for loving Zombieland over Shaun of the Dead? Not at all. And the same goes for loving Dead Snow. Nazi zombies in Norway? Ja! Jeg liker Død Snø! Det er greit! Jeg kan snakke norsk! (Men, jeg er ikke så god.) And thus, I have either delighted or enraged Norwegian viewers. I feel my work here is done.

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