No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Mr. Miyagi vs Splinter

Firefilm | 2 Apr 2012 12:00
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Dan: Did I give Kyle the win because he said Daniel-san? No, but it sure doesn't hurt to butter up the judge. Besides, I can either align myself with Daniel-san or have someone sing Danny-Boy to me. This summer at PAX, see which one results in me sweeping your legs.

So, first point goes to Chris for the argument that no matter what version of Splinter you follow, he kicks all the butts. Either a rat that drank whatever Brain from Pinky and the Brain was drinking and decided to learn martial arts, or a human that took a few whacks from the mutant stick and kept on ticking. Pretty sweet, either way.

Second point went to Kyle because while Splinter taught different types of martial arts to his sons, emphasis was never put on how he taught them to be better people. Maybe with Raphael being less agro or Leonardo being a better leader, but Chris didn't make that point so he didn't get credit for it. Miyagi was constantly multitasking on his lessons, and that is why he got a winning student and a shiny new back deck.

Chris nabbed a point for the fact that Splinter gave each turtle a different area of expertise on top of the basic awesome ninja training. We know Daniel-san can do the crane kick, but he didn't really specialize in anything else. Each turtle had a weapon that he know better than the back of his ... well it only had 3 fingers but it was still a hand. To train a ninja is quite a feet, but to train a ninja with a specialty is the sign of a master.

Kyle makes what might be the most defining argument of the debate with pointing out that Splinter not only never got any closure in his rivalries, he never wanted any. Miyagi wasn't training Daniel-san to kill anyone, or to avenge any past wrongs, he only wanted Daniel-san to be a better man and to win against the bullies. Many of our fans have pointed out that Splinter trained his boys to all-out murder the bad guy. Hate leads to the dark side, my good rat friend.

Chris didn't get a point on his drinking round because saying that Master Splinter made a joke doesn't make him a good sensei. Not when good ol' Pat is going around honking people's noses. Kyle swoops in for the win with the final argument that Ralphy doesn't just know how to defend himself, doesn't just know how to do manual labor, doesn't just know how to get the girl ... but has a marketable skill that he can make a decent living off of. Now that is one well rounded package, and that is why Miyagi pulled ahead for the ultimate win.

That, and he said Daniel-san.