No Right Explanation

No Right Explanation
Health Food is for Losers!

Firefilm | 15 Oct 2012 12:00
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Last week, the guys discussed which fast food restaurant has the tastiest grub, and this week continue the discussion for your reading enjoyment.


Chris: Well well, leave it to fast food to give us one of our most successful episodes of No Right Answer ever. I especially love that the episode that pushed us to it happened during our usual mid-day stupor after eating at Izzy's, a pizza buffet place in the Portland area that is glorious in that it tastes exactly like a pizza buffet place that costs less than $10. Mmm, now I want some of that!

P.S. Izzy's, you may send us checks for the endorsement whenever you feel, and yes, we accept gift certificates.

What I saw from the comments warmed my heart, or at least made me heightened to my heart's enlarged and enflamed state. We had filmed this episode close to two months ago, and yet this very weekend I had a 20-piece McNugget meal because a 10-piece meal didn't sound like it would fill me up (Spoiler: it wouldn't have). After reading through every comment, I could see that there really wasn't one chain that gathered either all the supporters or all the haters, and that's a beautiful thing.

However, and this isn't necessarily the commenters that reminded me, but I greatly dislike Super Size Me. Man did that movie enrage and enhunger me. I watched it in high school when one of the usual health teachers thought he was being so clever by saying, "Hey, I've done enough pointing you at the text books and telling you to read, so watch this edgy social documentary instead." At the time, all I could think was, "How stupid do you think we are, Spurlock? Eating anything for a month solid will make you sick, especially if you just got off a vegan diet!"

Enter Fat Head, a documentary that decided to look at exactly why Super Size Me was a bit dubious at best and a whole bunch of fat lies at most likely. If you're even remotely curious, I implore you to check it out. It's on Netflix Instant Play right now and it's well worth your time. And while you're there, just watch Michael Moore Hates America as well. They have no connection to one another, but who can say no to that?

P.S. If the producers of either Fat Head or Michael Moore Hates America would like to thank us for endorsing their movies, we accept Izzy's gift certificates or 20-piece McNugget meals.

I don't want to spoil too much from Fat Head, but the point isn't just to say that Spurlock made a dumb movie. Rather, the point is to show someone eating nothing but fast food for a month and getting healthier. If such a feat could be accomplished, that would sort of damage Super Size Me's creditability now wouldn't it? Boy I wonder what happens in the movie...?

Before I go, I do want to bring up two points, one of course from the comments and one from my good and close (not really) friend Jim Gaffigan. To put this debate to rest, yes, pizza places like Pizza Hut and Domino's are absolutely fast food. My evidence? It's food that can be had fast, plus the same company that owns Taco Bell and KFC owns Pizza Hut, therefore, vis-à-vis, ergo, concordantly, those must all be the same type of food. The other point is just to link you to a segment of Jim Gaffigan's brilliant "Mr. Universe" special. If you need more ammunition in the war against McDonald's haters, here it is.


Kyle: I iz Kyle, und I still am iz on my honeymoon.

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