I'd just like to take this time to respond to some of your well-thought out criticisms:
Sorry Marion, it just isn't the same.
Dude, a nice first try but really the comedy was either too subtle or non-existent. the last article wasn't even funny.
Thank you for reminding me of a time when I was young. My brother and I used to go down to the train tracks every afternoon. Each day, we'd wave at the 2:24 eastbound train. The conductor, a jolly red-nosed Irishman, would wave to us and blow the horn twice as he passed while shouting, "Whoop, there it is." Sometimes he'd stop the train and offer us a plug of Mighty Fine Chewing Tobacco and a snort of something that made my heart warm from his silver hipflask. In time, we came to learn that his name was Patrick O'Patrick and he was cousin to the legendary basketball player, Neil O'Patrick Harris.
But, like all things in life, things change; one day, that train stopped coming. You see, the train yard had been moved twenty miles down the road and Mr.O'Patrick would no longer share the wisdom of the rails with us. I still remember his parting words, "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun."
Of course, my brother and I were outraged at the change to the train schedule and did exactly what you'd expect two teenage boys to do: We went on the internet like a couple of jerks and impotently shared our outrage with people who didn't really give a flying sexual act about it. We never saw Patrick again. Yet, his pearls of wisdom live on in me to this day, insights like: "You've got to lick it before you stick it." Such a wise man... never have truer words been spoken.
I think we could all learn something here. Thanks to those of you who welcomed me so openly, I am just sorry that you don't have columns in which I can return the favor.
Read on for rumors surrounding Edge Games CEO Tim Langdell teaming up with Jack Thompson, important TGS follow-up gossip, and information about how to get the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Beta.