Sources inside the White House said that President Obama was seriously looking at a new policy for retaining homosexual service members. Obama has already said that the controversial "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy needs to go, but has yet to publicly outline a competent strategy to maintain troop morale once that policy is rescinded.
Our source made a brief statement about the possible legislation: "We looked at a lot of strategies for dealing with this sensitive issue. A policy that crossed our desk early in the process was the popular PC game Counterstrike's 'Don't be Gay' policy. The policy has been highly effective at retaining players regardless of their sexual orientation. We think there are a great many lessons to be learned from this passionate community."
Another game-inspired plan The White House may have on the table is a "Don't startle the witch" policy. Some internal sources claim that it is more of an "around-the-office" policy regarding Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, but sources would not confirm or deny that.