Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 11

Shamus Young | 31 Mar 2010 09:00
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Evading the pie-scarfing sentry, I slip across the bridge and up the hill to the party field. I present the pie to Opal Goodbody, who taste-tests it and declares it to be "foul."


"Okay," I say, "But I still get paid, right?"

"I can't serve this pie! It's rotten."

"Noted. But I would like to point out that the delivery was flawless."

"You tell Holly I'll need another pie!"

"Sure thing. If you could just pay for-"

"Off you go!"

Fine. Fine! Back down the hill. Over to Holly.

She doesn't take the news well. She checks the berries she's been using, and sure enough they're off. It doesn't seem appropriate to try and soothe her with a song, so I try a bit of quick, dashed-off poetry instead:


This should come as no surprise:
Hobbits want poor Holly's pies.

Now she has me running places,
providing pies for stuffing faces.

A daunting run this challenge poses:
Avoid Hobbit eyes and Hobbit noses!

Why sneak by Hobbits? It's not clear.
Does she think I'm playing Metal Gear?

In the end, I know she's nuts.
Her pies are bad, and taste like butts.

"Well, thanks for delivering the pies for me." she says after she's calmed down. "I'll need to get baking fresh ones."

"Obviously." I say, wondering if this is leading to money or tears for me.

"In the meantime, I need you to go around and recover all the bad pies."

Tears. Yeah. Sounds like tears.

Yeah, maybe putting "Metal Gear" in the poem was cheating. Sue me.

Be sure to send the summons via Shire post.

Next time: The Pie Runner!

Shamus Young is the guy behind Reset Button, Twenty Sided, DM of the Rings, and Stolen Pixels.

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