I'm in the town of Scary and I'm talking to Wilcome Tunnelly, who is doing a shockingly bad job at enticing me to work for him.
"My sister Pansy is a good sort, but she can be rather excitable," he explains. "When she gets an idea in her head, it stays there, no matter how silly it might be, and before you know it, she's convinced half the Shire that it's true."
"So... your problem is that half the Shire is idiots?"
"No!" he objects, pauses, and then furrows his brow. "Well, maybe. Probably, I guess. But the point is that she thinks..."
Wilcome looks slightly embarrassed, "Well, maybe you'd better just ask her about it yourself."
So now I have to track down his sister. But let me give you the tour of Scary first.
Scary is, as I mentioned before, a tiny little burgh just a stone's throw from the real town of Brockenborings. The only thing the town has going for it is the quarry. Nearly everyone in town is connected in some way to the mining operation.