Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 24

Shamus Young | 30 Jun 2010 09:00
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There are only two kinds of rangers in the world:

1) Rangers who have just been in a fight.
2) Rangers who are alive.

The ranger cave is a lot like the bandit cave I raided earlier, except smaller, smellier, and with fewer lights and provisions.

Mundol chokes out his message, "Amdir came here. Please. There is but one ranger left alive here in the marshes. He's studying the ruins at the center. Warn him. Stop Amdir."

He lets out a long, ragged breath, pays me a silver and a half, and dies.

Quest rewards are odd sometimes.

Off we go to the ruins then.

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Q: What does an entire nest of spiders - including a spider queen - have in common with my will to live?

A: They both had to die for me to reach this door.

I wipe the spider goop off my shoes and head inside.

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As promised, a ranger is here. I give him a polite wave, "So, ranger Renil... Renon... Reeno... Look, can I just call you Ren?"

"What is your business here?" he says warily.

"I don't mean to be rude," I lie. "But why is it that the ruins you're studying are so much nicer than the cave where you live?"

"Is that what you came here to ask me?"

"Oh right. The message," I say. "The other rangers are dead, Admir's a wraith and trying to kill you, and I'm only helping you because I need the money."

"This is dire news indeed! We must go at once to the chieftain of my kindred. The Bree-man call him Strider."

"Neither of us are Bree-men. What are we supposed to call him?"

"Come, I will lead you back to town through the caves."

"That sounds like a huge pain in the ass. Why would we go through the caves?"

"It's a shortcut!" Ren exclaims.

"It's a straight shot from these ruins to the edge of the marsh. How can this way be shorter than that?"

"The caves go under the marsh," he explains.

"They do... what?"

Forgive the mild plug, but I can't let this pass. Way back before I started Stolen Pixels, I helped out on a webcomic called Chainmail Bikini. It was about a bunch of D&D players going through a shamefully horrible campaign. In that campaign - which if you remember from the previous sentence I was deliberately trying to make horrible - they had to go through caverns under a swamp.

Tunnels. Going under mud and water. I don't think you need a degree in physics with a minor in common sensology to spot the flaw in this.

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