Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: LOTRO, The Finale!

Shamus Young | 7 Jul 2010 09:00
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So now I'm stuck with another ranger. He's already got his sword out. For no reason.

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"Come on you," I snap. "And try not to hurt yourself with that thing."

"We must find Amdir! If he escapes, it could spell doom for Middle-earth."

"Settle down, squire," I say. "He's a handful, but he's a far cry from menacing the entire continent."

Torthann holds up his sword, "He's slain many people, and many more might-"

"No. He's killed many rangers. He's probably not ready to start taking on regular people."

"I don't understand."

"Exactly."

So with Torthann in tow, I stomp down to the iron gates of the brigand hideout. I am not happy. Here I am, all dressed up and dragging myself through another filthy brigand lair with another befuddled ranger.

Suddenly the gate rumbles open and a couple of filthy brigands stroll out.

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"Right," I say, scanning the woods for reinforcements. "I've fought these types before. You wait here and I'll..." I glance over and he's gone. Then I look down the hill and see that he's run over to our foes and begun waving his sword at them. He's saved them the trouble of surrounding him by simply throwing himself between them. After a few seconds it's apparent that they are going to be able to kick his ass without even trying.

As amusing is it would be to watch yet another ranger bumble into an early grave, if this idiot gets himself killed it could make me look bad to Strider. I'm going to have to save him.

I sprint down the hill (now I'm really glad I didn't wear heels with this) and fling myself into the fight. It's tricky, but I manage to yank Torthann out of the sword sandwich and get him behind me. Then I go to work on the brigands.

Once the violence is over I take a deep breath. "Look, you can't just run off like that," I say as I wipe my dagger off on one of the fellows who just sullied it. "If you could refrain from-"

Torthann is no longer behind me. Suddenly I hear a scuffle within the gates. He's already inside.

Torthann keeps this up from one end of the bandit camp to the other, throwing himself into a hedge of swords so that I have to jump in after him. I'm doing all the fighting, and he's just running around pissing people off and perhaps gently fanning them with his sword.

Finally I get the area cleaned out and there aren't any people left holding swords for Torthann to jump onto. Scuffed, bruised, and tired, I stagger over to the next gate.

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Torthann looks me over. "Need a rest? Were those lot a bit much for you?"

"Do not test me, nature-boy."

"Right. Well, let's go through this next gate and see if we can find Amdir."

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