Shamus Plays

Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 9

Shamus Young | 15 Sep 2010 09:00
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I'm just saying, I don't care if the taxpayers paid for this stuff or not. It seems a little ... unseemly to go around calling yourself a "hero" when you're living in this sort of lavish extravagance and half the city is still rubble. I'm not saying they shouldn't have nice things, but maybe hold off on the fifty foot statues until we get the rubble out of the streets, yeah?

Remember Champion HQ from earlier? Here is the view of it from the air:

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You know what I would do if I were a super-villain? No, I wouldn't kidnap the mayor's daughter or put a zombie bomb in the sewer. That just gets you punched the face, and even if you pull it off it doesn't really accomplish much. No, I would buy up the property on either side of the Champions building. To the east I would build the Friendship Headquarters, and between that and the Champions building would be the Unity building. Then to the west would be the Kid's building. Then the Champions would have no choice but to tear down their headquarters! Muahahahaha!

Ahem. Anyway.

No city would be complete without a maximum security supervillain prison built in the middle of the most expensive and densely populated areas.

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Man, if there was ever a breakout it would be a disaster.

There's always a breakout going on here. This is one of the public quest areas. The jailbreak public quest is pretty fun.

Earlier I made fun of Ironclad for launching himself at the alien mothership, and at the people of the city for throwing me a parade before we even knew how things worked out for Ironclad. I still think the parade was a messed up idea, but it looks like Ironclad came through:

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He didn't just knock them out of the sky and have them crash all over the city. He made them land their mothership in the river. Someday it is my fond hope to be able to punch something that hard. Man, nice work Ironclad.

So that's the tour. Now, enough sightseeing. Let's get to work.

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Ah, this brings back old memories. It's Socrates, the city cyberbrain that's a couple of service packs short of a full install. I strike up a conversation and try to act like I'm looking off into the distance or something, because every time I look up I end up looking her right in the cybercrotch. Er. Him. It. You know what I mean.

Socrates has some superhero stuff for me to do. Outstanding. In truth, I'm really glad to be in the city now. Some of the missions in Canada were a little... screwy. Maybe a little on the daft side. Then again, maybe I'm just prejudiced against astrally-projected giant brains, I don't know. Now that we're back in the city we can do some more conventional superhero type adventuring. This is the kind of place Superman, Spider-Man, and Batman do their thing, and fighting crime on the mean streets of the bustling metropolis goes a long way to making me feel more like a super-being and less like a slapstick prop.

First job: Track down a stolen shipment of ping pong balls that was oh hell not more of this screwball crap.

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