NOT-DISGUSTING MUDDER'S MILK

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Jayne Cobb described mudder's milk as having "all the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol." This may not have all the nutritional value, but it looks pretty muddy, and certainly tastes better. Like the drink that inspired it, you'll want to down this pretty quickly. Bad things'll happen if you let it sit around.

-½ shot irish cream liqueur (like Bailey's)
-½ shot irish whiskey (like Jameson)
-1 pint Guinness stout

Fill a pint glass about ¾ full of Guinness, consume the rest.

Layer the liquors in a shot glass: First the cream liqueur, then the whiskey.

Drop the shot glass into the pint glass and drink the whole thing fast, as fast as you can.

SPICE EYES

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They say the spice must flow, and it's flowing right into this drink. A lot of cinnamon drinks have a warming effect, which is great, but I can't imagine standing on Arrakis and wanting a warming beverage. This is a cooling cocktail with the drunkening effects of Goldschläger. Be cautious.

-3 oz Goldschläger
-7 oz lemon lime soda (like Sprite)
-2 oz grenadine

Shake in an ice-filled shaker, serve straight up.

Overuse may turn your eyes bright blue. Don't be drinking if you're pregnant, but especially not this.

COP-OUT STARGATES

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Just because I've deemed Stargate difficult to cook, here's a speedy blue martini. Drink enough of these little guys, and they'll start to look like glowing stargates when viewed from above.

-3 oz gin or vodka, your preference (I prefer vodka)
-½ oz dry vermouth
-1 tsp blue Curaçao
-1 tsp fresh lemon juice

Shake in an ice-filled shaker, serve straight up.

Add a lemon twist if you're feeling fancy.

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