Mario Golf as Foreplay

Brendan Sears | 29 Jul 2008 08:41
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She knows me too well, knows my sense of humor, knows that is exactly the kind of warped jackass response I would give. She knows I try to make jokes to sidestep what I'm really thinking.

"That wouldn't be funny if it was true."
"I never use codes."

She playfully jabs my ribs so I put on the fake smile. We talk about when our relationship would hit a point where we could start making out.


"When we kiss, like for a long time, what do you think of?"
"You mean during a marathon session?"
"What game I'll throw in when I go home."
"I think about how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I should've made you answer first."


I'm playing Dawn of War over my dorm's network with my ally Randomman against the two Mikes. A gorgeous day, and we are squirreled away in our separate rooms. The Mikes have Randomman and myself cornered, but if we can capture the Relic and put up a wall of resistance for two minutes, we may win

I hear a light knock at my door, not the heavy thud of my friends or the cautious rap of my roommate Jeremy, but I'm too engrossed to notice.

"Not locked."

The door opens and closes but I don't care. Must have been somebody looking for Jeremy.

Randomman and I flank the Mikes and rush to control the Relic as a pair of frigid hands slap over my eyes.

"Guesssss whooooo!"

A crackling whine explodes from the two-way radio on my desk. "Weepin' Jesus on the Cross ... get her the hell out of there. There's a war on and I need you focused!" Anne jumps away from me as if she's been struck, and I switch off the radio.

"What was that? Why did that happen?"
I glance at the watch hanging from the corkboard behind my monitor. "You're 8 minutes early."
"I was going to surprise you."
"Mission accomplished."
"Why do you have walkie-talkies?"
"Randomman and I went halvsies. It helps us coordinate."
She picked it up, hovering her thumb over the power button. "Is he still talking?"
"He never stops."

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