My Player One and Only

My Player One and Only
Sex and the Single Player

Russ Pitts | 11 Aug 2009 07:16
My Player One and Only - RSS 2.0

Full disclosure: The author is happily married. - Ed

Very few of my attempts to marry gaming and a healthy dating life have ended well. There's just something about gaming and relationships. Women seem to feel very possessive of time. They prefer that the men in their lives spend time doing things that involve them, so, naturally, time spent doing things that don't involve them are usually frowned upon.


As far as time-sinks go, gaming is a hog. For the gamer (i.e., me) that's a good thing. For the non-gaming partner (i.e., most of my exes) this is not so much the case. If only I had learned sooner that a successful relationship is best formed with a fellow gamer.

Boy Meets Girrrl

I used to have a thing for rock stars. Well, not actual "stars" per se, but you would never know it from the way they partied. The town I lived in was rife with musicians, so avoiding dating one was the real numbers game. All of my friends were in bands and, by virtue of hanging around them, I ended up dating their musician friends. This was not entirely a good thing.

At first glance, you may think musicians, with their stay-up-all-night-and-report-to-work-bleary-the-next-day lifestyle would merge seamlessly with gamers, who often approach life in very much the same way (substituting Taurens and Bawls for hookers and blow), but the truth is the two groups mix like oil and water. See, the gamer's definition of "cranking it" may be staying up until 4am, playing Rock Band and going through the motions of being a rock star, but the musician's definition involves actually being a rock star. This creates a natural, if subtle divide between the two camps.

While there are many musicians who, like you, have day jobs and play games to unwind, they also "play music" which they consider to be a "valuable skill" in spite of the fact it prevents them from holding jobs outside of the food service industry. They therefore tend to look down on those who play games and have food service jobs, but don't also play music. It's unfair, I know, but it's true.

So when it comes to my experiences being a single gamer that dated musicians, I have to admit that my experiences were usually either being a single gamer or dating a musician. The two never really mixed. I can recall a couple of occasions when I would sneak an all-day playing session (behind closed doors, pretending to be sick) into a week already containing several all-night bar crawls, but for the most part I just stopped playing. For a brief period in the late 90s I completely stopped playing, sold all of my games and occupied my time hanging out in bars and carrying amplifiers around for people with actual musical talent.

I'm not proud of this period of my life, but it did lead to some interesting experiences. Like the time, walking into the back entrance of a bar, carrying an amplifier, I stumbled over two bums having sex. They didn't seem to notice me, so I moved on - quickly. Ah, those were the days.

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