The New Deal

The New Deal
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Brett Staebell | 8 Sep 2009 08:03
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Sir! Ma`am! There's a poise to your paws and perk to your peepers that leads me to believe you enjoy the odd game when at your leisure! Not of chance, no - something with a bit of class. Sophistication. If you dig what I'm dealin', have I got the word for you!


Recession! Depression! Every dime store politician and radio wise guy is aiming to spook you into such a jitterbug you can't tell your soggy stocks from your stained skivvies. The truth is, Jack, you can DDR foxtrot from here to Yaya trying to give the slump the slip, but that'll do as much good for your bankbook as getting mugged by some goon with a bookie to answer to. Already pinched your last penny so dry the Okies go back home in search of greener pastures? You can either become a two-bit crook to support your 128-bit habit or stay on the up and up with a few trademark tricks.

That's where I come in.

Say you have a stack of doughnut discs so tall it'd make a robot copper's mouth oil. Odds are you've given these Bettys the once-around, had a few laughs and left them to dust. Sure, you played the gent and grifted a couple of achievements; but like my old man always said, "Treat your games like you treat your dames: Try`em, buy`em, ply`em." Sounds as classy as a crowbar, but believe you me, pops was a lollapalooza of a lady killer!

Only a sucker dumps his dough on some jalopy he hasn't wheeled around the block, and the same schmuck goes broke for a game he hasn't played. If you have the green to stuff your shelf, then what's a little fresh-squeezed juice, courtesy of your local game loan shark? Not keen on getting nickel-and-dimed by a blue-shirted shylock? Bum from your pals, swap games net-wise or go bananas in the demo department! These barons of entertainment need to buzz for their honey the same as you and me, so do your aching wallet a favor and check the water before you strap on your cement shoes.

Been there, done that, and still can't afford the ginchiest new title? Buck up, Chuck, cause I can cure what ails ya!

Times are tough and games don't come cheap, not for you or the next guy. Waiting for Christmas to give your game library a shot to the keister might grease your gears, but anybody who just looks out for number one is itching for some chin music! Why not earn all that good will and put your collection to work with your own gaming charity? Run a marathon that'll make Desert Bus look like a trip for biscuits, and St. Nicholas will throw on his glad rags to stuff your stocking!

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