Discuss and rate the last movie you watched

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Dragon Blade 4/10

Jackie Chan and his stunt crew bring us a """historical""" action epic in which an ancient Silk Road guard chief Huo An has to go against a power hungry Roman leader wishing to expand eastward. You'd think it's just Adrien Brody collecting a paycheck, which is also true, but he's hamming it up hard as the total opposite of virtuous Huo An who just wants peace among the hilariously distinctive-looking peoples around the area. Also totally ripping off Gladiator with its final duel and shit. The action is alright, you can almost believe Brody and a rebel General Lucius (John Cusack) are sword-dancing as themselves instead of Jackie's stuntmen. Okay, not really. I also skipped most of the talking scenes.

Apollo 11 (7/10)

It's kind of weird to see this film so soon (relatively speaking) after First Man. Guess the 60th anniversary of the moon landing has that effect on people. Like, there's Ryan!Neil and Neil!Neil.

Anyway, to explain this film, the best point of comparison I can think of is They Shall Not Grow Old. As in, everything in the film is real-world footage, and it's presented entirely in chronological order. So, like, if you went through life without any knowledge of WWI or the Apollo 11 landing, you could watch these films and get a 'story' of sorts that explains it. It's not a documentary per se, but not acted. A few diagrams are used to explain lunar trajectories at the like, and there's some super-imposition over the footage (e.g. velocity, height, etc.), but other than that, it's all real.

And it's pretty decent, to be honest, though takes awhile to get going. Not nearly as impactful as TSNGO, but that's in part due to me having seen so much Apollo stuff by this point, while TSGNO had the colourization, plus new footage thing going for it. What's funny is that while we get Armstrong's "one small step" speech, it actually keeps going, and because we're using footage from the top down angle rather than the side angle, it's not nearly as impactful. TBH, I think that's kind of intentional. Like, everyone knows that speech, but does everyone know Nixon's call to the astronauts after the fact? I didn't, but it's a pretty good one. But on the other hand, they cut out Kennedy's "we choose to go to the moon, and do the other things" part of his speech, so...Republican bias?

Yeah, probably not. Anyway, if there's a genre of "Apollo films," Apollo 11 certainly isn't Apollo 13, or even First Man, but it's not trying to be. And for what it does, it does a reasonable job.

Hobbes and Shaw 8/10

This film is exactly what you'd expect an incredulously over-the-top, self-aware, beat-em-up action flick to be, and it does all of those things really well; this was the most mindless fun I've had in a theater in a very long time. Don't expect any surprises; you've seen dozens of movies like this before, but this one's worth watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham are essentially the same people in every role they play, but damned if it isn't entertaining watching these alphas collide. Idris Elba pulls off a very interesting villain; it's like watching Luther go rogue. Vanessa Kirby plays a wonderful femme fatale (those eyes, that accent, *swoon*. The cameo by Kevin Hart was a welcome and hilarious surprise. All in all, I was highly entertained for a couple of hours.

DISCLAIMER, my opinion was helped along by the fact we'd bought DBOX tickets which is a special row of chairs in the theater that move and vibrate with the action on screen; when Shaw peels out in his McLaren, you're literally thrown back in your seat; the seats shift you violently from side to side and vibrate with each punch or kick; it was so much fun. I refuse to see another action film in the theater unless it's in that seat.

The Spy Who Loved Me 7/10

The only Bond film I hadn't yet seen. The local tv network is showing all Bond films (like every year) and funny enough they are marketed as romance films in the short ad spots -- each showing a couple of scenes with Bond flirting with the girls. Anyway, now I've seen it and it's pretty good. The theme song is good too. You have Jaws, funny Russian accents, and a kind of a developing romance between Bond and his KGB counterpart. The Werner Herzog lookin-ass villain is kinda fun and ruthless not to mention mad.

Moreover, when people talk about Bond films they often remark how mean and chauvinistic 007 is towards women, but that doesn't apply after Connery. Sure, he sleeps around, but you would too if women fell for you with just a look towards them. In this film the main girl Major Amasova rejects Bond multiple times (even drugging him) before warming up.

Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - S RANK!

What more needs to be said? Combining awesome with another form with awesome. This is one of the best crossover films I have ever seen! On second thought, this is the best crossover film I have seen. Everyone fills their roles perfectly, the jokes are funny, and the interaction between the Turtles, Batfamily, and the villains are hilarious. I don't want to spoil much, but go see this movie now! Note that this movie is pg-13 and not exactly kids friendly. There is bloodshed, and some minor gore.

Caramel Frappe:
Movie: Spider-Man: Far From Home

Rating: 6 / 10

Review: I was honestly a bit disappointed in this movie. Sure the comedy was pretty good, the action was nice, and the visuals / CGI was impressive (especially a certain scene but I won't spoil it).. however, the plot was kind of meh. It was more of a high school / field trip kind of movie with a superhero in it, trying to cope with what happened in the previous movie. If it wasn't for a certain character, this movie would of likely received a lower score.

At first, I thought maybe, I was being too harsh since nothing could live up to Infinity War or End Game, but thinking about it now? The movie was pretty bland. The jokes felt a tad forced, most landed but the ones that didn't kind of stuck around a little too long, and the characters (majority of them) I couldn't care less for. This movie was too simple, too basic that didn't really go anywhere. Heck, if you didn't see it, you wouldn't miss out on much despite the fact the ending is a bit important for future movies.

It also doesn't help that Mysterio's plan makes absolutely NO sense.

McElroy:
The Spy Who Loved Me 7/10

The only Bond film I hadn't yet seen.

Damn, I've got some catching up to do.

:(

The local tv network is showing all Bond films (like every year) and funny enough they are marketed as romance films in the short ad spots -- each showing a couple of scenes with Bond flirting with the girls.

Da fuq?

Moreover, when people talk about Bond films they often remark how mean and chauvinistic 007 is towards women, but that doesn't apply after Connery. Sure, he sleeps around, but you would too if women fell for you with just a look towards them. In this film the main girl Major Amasova rejects Bond multiple times (even drugging him) before warming up.

Um, Roger Moore? That era wasn't exactly what you'd call "progressive."

Far as Bond girls go, I'd say that the franchise has treated them better as time has gone on (generally), but I can't really refute any and all criticism of the concept. TBH, with the whole female 007 thing, I wouldn't be surprised if the franchise buries the concept.

Hawki:
snip

Progressive or not, Moore's Bond treats women respectfully while the infamous scenes are all in Connery's films. The one with Lazenby is weirder: Bond hangs out with the oblivious girls and treats them like they're just in the way, but he also gets married later. Like, I think that the treatment of women got some criticism even in the 60s and prompted changes in the way Bond handles his women. In 1983's Octopussy the titular character and her crew are instrumental in helping Bond catch the bad guys, though he was already saved by a pair of punch-kick karate girls in Man With the Golden Gun.

Anyway...

Batman: Hush 7/10

Stuff that it has: chemistry between the characters, good pacing and even the talky scenes aren't boring, fetish material (oh boy), some funny lines, actually has something to say about Batman even if it's not very much, decent animation at times, very same-y action scenes. It's got something for everyone.

Xprimentyl:
Hobbes and Shaw 8/10

This film is exactly what you?d expect an incredulously over-the-top, self-aware, beat-em-up action flick to be, and it does all of those things really well; this was the most mindless fun I?ve had in a theater in a very long time. Don?t expect any surprises; you?ve seen dozens of movies like this before, but this one?s worth watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham are essentially the same people in every role they play, but damned if it isn?t entertaining watching these alphas collide. Idris Elba pulls off a very interesting villain; it?s like watching Luther go rogue. Vanessa Kirby plays a wonderful femme fatale (those eyes, that accent, *swoon*. The cameo by Kevin Hart was a welcome and hilarious surprise. All in all, I was highly entertained for a couple of hours.

DISCLAIMER, my opinion was helped along by the fact we?d bought DBOX tickets which is a special row of chairs in the theater that move and vibrate with the action on screen; when Shaw peels out in his McLaren, you?re literally thrown back in your seat; the seats shift you violently from side to side and vibrate with each punch or kick; it was so much fun. I refuse to see another action film in the theater unless it?s in that seat.

Glad to hear the movie was good, but I'd be fine seeing it sans Dbox. It's like 3D to me; after the first few minutes the novelty just sorta fades away. I can remember the only time I was really impressed by the feedback, and that was in the first Avengers when Iron Man sorta bobs in the air a bit before taking off...the seat really simulated that effect rather well.

Overall, it's often grown irritating since there is typically such a disconnect between the audience and suspension of disbelief because the studios are forced to program feedback into nearly every scene, even where it often makes little practical sense.

McElroy:
though he was already saved by a pair of punch-kick karate girls in Man With the Golden Gun.

The same film where Mary Goodnight walks around the third act in a bikini because...reasons. And activates a solar laser with her bum.

Like, I like Man with the Golden Gun, but looking back at some of the elements...yeesh.

Hawki:

McElroy:
though he was already saved by a pair of punch-kick karate girls in Man With the Golden Gun.

The same film where Mary Goodnight walks around the third act in a bikini because...reasons. And activates a solar laser with her bum.

Like, I like Man with the Golden Gun, but looking back at some of the elements...yeesh.

Why have beautiful women in your movie if you can't show them off? Even Amasova gets her share of that in The Spy Who Loved Me.

McElroy:
Why have beautiful women in your movie if you can't show them off? Even Amasova gets her share of that in The Spy Who Loved Me.

Most Bond girls are attractive (course that's going to be down to opinion), but ipso facto, the attractiveness comes through regardless of whatever they're wearing. Not to mention that the best Bond girls (least in my view) usually have solid character foundations.

Like, off the top of my head, Vesper from Casino Royale. She wears a beautiful dress for the poker game. The out of universe explanation can be boiled down to "eye candy," but the in-universe one is that Bond wants her distracting the other men at the table. Mary Goodnight on the other hand doesn't get the in-universe justification. It's conciet without the film trying to hide it.

Like I said, I'd say Bond girls got better over time, in the sense that as the films progressed, they went beyond eye candy to become characters in their own right. That's not to say it's a linear process, or that early girls were completely vapid, but if I compare the Bronsan-Craig era to the Connery-Moore era, then one's clearly doing its females better. Least as far as character depth goes.

Hawki:
snip

Yeah, I don't disagree. My point was more about how Bond treats women instead of their role in the movies in general. From that viewpoint there isn't a "Connery-Moore era" because the two Bonds act differently, even if the number of bikini shots was the same.

Once Upon A Time in Hollywood - 1/10

Long, boring, filled with pointless scenes because nobody dares to edit Tarintino. I was bored almost into a nap during this entire movie, kept awake by the sprinkling of jokes throughout the film.

Dicaprio and Pitt are fantastic, but it is a shame their stories mostly had no purpose or direction.

I don't know what this movie was trying to be, but whatever it was, it failed.

Anima. Just 15 minutes and probably the best thing Netflix has ever made. Leave it to Paul Thomas Anderson.

Brightburn - 2/10

Ok, so what if the ridiculously human superpowered alien baby Pa and Ma found by a Kansas road wasn't all about truth, justice and the American way, but more about conquest, murder and lots of scowling. Or put simply, young Clark Kent by way of Damien Thorn and Jason Vorhees instead of good 'ol Jeebus. But that's as far as the subversion of the Superman origin story goes. The rest of the movie is a by the numbers and kind of dull slasher movie that replaces any semblance of tension with gory death.

Teen Spirit
Well it's nothing to do with Nirvana. Instead it revolves around two subjects am not too fond of in the real world; singing talent shows and pop trance. Despite that and the familiar structure it commits to, it is quite endearing. Elle Fanning is Violet, of polish descent in all but accent, teams up with old drunk Vlad, Zlatko Buric (who is like a polish Bill Bailey harbouring a few more wobbles and murmurs than usual), so she can train for a youth singing talent show called, yup... 'Teen Spirit.' What makes this stand out from the usual is a glaring stylised juxtaposition between the glitz and glamour you'd expect from a pop talent show, and a consistent sense of contemplative depression aided by a muted colour palette alongside a distinct absence of any smiling or goes. Even the inevitable shows are presented with a noticable disconnect, without any of the incessant poppy editing, choosing instead to make it look like you're in the eerily motionless studio audience watching these twats prance about the stage for yourself. There are no surprises if you've seen this song and dance before, but there is a charm to the two leads and the overall contrasting mood that actually made what would usually be unbearable, quite alright.
Couple of weird things though; for some reason Vlad is never shown drinking or even holding any potential drink. We just have to take the film's word for it that he's really a drunk and not on heavy prescription medication or suffering ear imbalance. I wonder if that has anything to do with wanting to keep the age rating lower or something else perhaps.
Also, one can be too good at casting, where every character held exactly the personality you'd expect in a film from the way they look. When the tall, dark handsome lad appeared with an extremely punchable, untrustworthy face...it was merely a matter of counting down the time for when he turns out not to be the greatest person in Violet's life. Oh well, a pleasant stylish surprise, if a little too comfortable in its structure.

Ordet (Carl Theodor Dreyer, 1955)

Speechless so just go read Ebert's review.

Just got back from Hobbs and Shaw.
It was good. Its just...well, its the Winter Soldier.

A genetically engineered cyborg super solider with a history of being friends with one of the main characters(who thought he was dead) is working for a secret shadow organization with global power and a new super weapon intended to kill millions of humans in a huge purge fighting a muscle bound beef cake and a gymnastic super spy with witty banter and trust issues who have been declared outlaws by the self same evil organization.
They even have a scene where the Rock has to hold a helicopter in place using only his huge bulging biceps. And there's a countdown to the super weapon being deployed that's stopped in the last second.
And they even have a new friendly black character who gets introduced and his thing is all about flying.

Its just Winter Soldier.

Silentpony:
Just got back from Hobbs and Shaw.
It was good. Its just...well, its the Winter Soldier.

Its just Winter Soldier.

Sounds like watching it left you out in the cold. Hopefully you've reached the winter of your discontent, and now have a spring in your step.

Lion King (7/10)

Is it better than the original? Mostly no. Since it's realistic, a bunch of things had to be changed becuase normal cartoons can get away with way more violence. For example, Scar could play with the mouse way more at the start of the oringal. It would look too scary for kids if this was copied into this more realistic portrayal. Lion King is one of my favourite animated movie but I'd only give it 8.5/10. There were too many assumptions about what happened, and everything they changed were plot hole from the oringal.... That being said, they didn't necessarily succeed in making it better. Lion and hyena conflict was better but you lost the comedy between 3 hyenas and are cut to 2. The Queen was a bit pointless but gave Nala a target. All the jokes from the oringal felt forced, but the new ones landed much better. What was really bad was when they did an old joke and someone said, 'nice.'. The Elephant Graveyard was more imposing but less distinctive. Two songs in particular were very lacklustre as the oringal had a lot of colour it couldn't add. The movie also focussed on how Simba never really found a place to call home when he ran... He was just accepted by Timon and Pumba but ostracised by others. Nala is still not distinctive from Sarabi. They tried to make the 'court' of who killed Mufasa more realistic. It's better than the oringal but still not great. End fight was way better too. (The whole third act of the original was pretty bad.) Scar, generally, was terribly voiced but I liked how he schemed more and gathered an army to fight by his side

Anyway, liked Aladdin more, but the only good thing about oringal Aladdin was Robin Wiliams, the rest being trash. It makes the remake far more distinctive, even if I actually think that the remake Lion King is technically better. For example, Will Smith was allowed to be Will Smith, not a mishmash of Rowan Atkinson and John Oliver (the latter can't do the formers comedy, let him do his own style of comedy.)

Match you story to fit your actors not the other way around, otherwise you do a disservice to both.

Hawki:

Silentpony:
Just got back from Hobbs and Shaw.
It was good. Its just...well, its the Winter Soldier.

Its just Winter Soldier.

Sounds like watching it left you out in the cold. Hopefully you've reached the winter of your discontent, and now have a spring in your step.

I was a little disheartened, its true.

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