Valentine's Lament

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

In this here thread we (or just I, should nobody else post anything) lament how there is a whole day specifically created for us lonely single people to sulk about. And sometimes not only that but sulk about after getting rejected once again!

You end up asking yourself (I might be projecting a bit): Why did I set myself up for this again? If I have always been disappointed before, what would be different this time?

I only bother because this relationship-thing (that I frankly know very little about) is the most important thing I can think of, and so I must, must pursue it although I seemingly can't find success on my terms.

So that is what I've shared with you tonight. Does the pursuit of love mean anything in these dreary days to you? Does the totally-made-up Valentine's Day make you do anything special about it?

I used to be upset about it. Then I got into a relationship and enjoyed it. Then I got dumped and it REAAAAALLY hurt the next few years.

Now? Now I don't really give a damn.

It's a stupid holiday designed to make you feel like if you don't buy expensive stuff for your sweetheart, you're a terrible person, and also makes single people feel lonely.

Personally, if we replaced it with a Second Halloween, I'd be quite happy.

TLDR, my approach:
image

Valentine's Day is a reminder to me of all the girls my friends tried to set me up with:

A girl who got kicked out of her parents' house because she got pregnant with a guy she worked with - after just one week of meeting him. Last I heard she became a stripper after they broke up and the guy left her with the child and no support. They had to move every two months as the bf spent all of their rent money on recreational mary jane by the fourth week of each month.

Another girl from Amsterdam who casually declared that America deserved 9/11. That was a quick no from me.

Another girl who HAD a boyfriend when we met. She told me she was just sticking with him until "something better came along". Yeah, no thank you, you hot, steaming pile of garbage.

A girl who had a callus on her right palm. I guessed it was from swinging on a pole and I was right. She wasn't looking for 'Mr. Right', she was looking for 'Mr. Right Now' as her boyfriend was kicking her out of the house.

Aaaand the last one, a former drug dealer from California who bragged about how easy it was to rip off other dealers.

Oh, there was the girl who came out of the closet not long after somebody tried to set me up with her.

.

I'm good being alone for now. I need to get the fcuk out of Florida.

aegix drakan:
snip

I'll take discount chocolate (or it's synthesized equivalent) any day. That'll be me in line at CVS with ten boxes.

Well, I had a girlfriend until last Saturday...now were on a possibly indefinite break while she sorts her head out. It's kind of inconsequential, it would hurt just as much no matter the date. Although perhaps it's just a reminder every so often. No, I don't want any free heart shaped chocolate...
Otherwise I've always been been in drug relationships that meant the date or day of the week meant nothing, just another day to get wasted together.

Frezzato:
Valentine's Day is a reminder to me of all the girls my friends tried to set me up with:

A girl who got kicked out of her parents' house because she got pregnant with a guy she worked with - after just one week of meeting him. Last I heard she became a stripper after they broke up and the guy left her with the child and no support. They had to move every two months as the bf spent all of their rent money on recreational mary jane by the fourth week of each month.

Another girl from Amsterdam who casually declared that America deserved 9/11. That was a quick no from me.

Another girl who HAD a boyfriend when we met. She told me she was just sticking with him until "something better came along". Yeah, no thank you, you hot, steaming pile of garbage.

A girl who had a callus on her right palm. I guessed it was from swinging on a pole and I was right. She wasn't looking for 'Mr. Right', she was looking for 'Mr. Right Now' as her boyfriend was kicking her out of the house.

Aaaand the last one, a former drug dealer from California who bragged about how easy it was to rip off other dealers.

Oh, there was the girl who came out of the closet not long after somebody tried to set me up with her.

.

I'm good being alone for now. I need to get the fcuk out of Florida.

Your friends need to vet their matchmaking attempts better. Like holy fuck.

Frezzato:
Valentine's Day is a reminder to me of all the girls my friends tried to set me up with:

0_o

I'm...Gonna have to echo Gordon here:

Gordon_4:
Your friends need to vet their matchmaking attempts better. Like holy fuck.

Seriously, what the hell.

Gordon_4:

Your friends need to vet their matchmaking attempts better. Like holy fuck.

aegix drakan:

0_o

I'm...Gonna have to echo Gordon here:

Seriously, what the hell.

Really, never visit Florida. Or just don't go any further south of Orlando or Tampa. That's it. This place is doomed.

I'll take anybody normal. And by normal I mean 'not a drug dealer'. I'm leaving soon. Thank Christ.

aegix drakan:
I used to be upset about it. Then I got into a relationship and enjoyed it. Then I got dumped and it REAAAAALLY hurt the next few years.

Now? Now I don't really give a damn.

It's a stupid holiday designed to make you feel like if you don't buy expensive stuff for your sweetheart, you're a terrible person, and also makes single people feel lonely.

Personally, if we replaced it with a Second Halloween, I'd be quite happy.

TLDR, my approach:
image

It used to be my favorite holiday for that exact thing, but for totally completely unrelated reasons I'm skipping my tradition this year due to a diet. I already deeply miss red marshmallow hearts and cinnahearts. I'd settle for some of those chalky bullshit hearts right now but I can't even have those because despite tasting like antacids they have a disturbing calorie count.

I always forget it's a thing.

McElroy:
I only bother because this relationship-thing (that I frankly know very little about) is the most important thing I can think of, and so I must, must pursue it although I seemingly can't find success on my terms.

What makes it so important? Life is too short to waste trying to make relationships work. Things are soooooooo much simpler if you're single.

Frezzato:

Really, never visit Florida. Or just don't go any further south of Orlando or Tampa. That's it. This place is doomed.

I feel incredibly lucky that I either missed all the crazy or was too innocent to notice it when my family used to go down there for winter vacation every year of my childhood (or that the condo was north of this mysterious line in the sand).

Because I have nothing but fond happy memories of those trips (minus the time I skinned both my knees jumping off my bike to avoid a bee, which is actually a funny memory now), and every time I see news from florida these last ten years I'm going "Holy shit, what the actual hell is in the water down there to make people there this consistently flipping insane?!"

Sometimes being alone fills me with a sense of overwhelming dread. I usually just ignore it. Of course this means my mental state has gotten a lot worse over the years. But I'm ignoring that too.

Eh, I gave my first Valentine this year, and it was accepted. It was pretty gay.
So, worked out for me. Aside from not getting enough sleep.

This isn't really a lament. I honestly can't fathom anyone finding me attractive. This is no longer a bad thing in my mind. It's just a thing. Like my height or my age. Thereby concepts like Valentine's Day has lost their meaning as that avenue is not open for me.

It's like when you were a child and you found out that superheroes aren't a real thing and you won't be able to do magic or fly? Those first few moments were devastating. Like, why do we even live? And now it's like... meh.

To be fair, myself and my left hand didn't do anything special. When you have been in a relationship for as long as we have, things like Valentines Day aren't that important. So we just stayed in, played video games and had a nice night.

Christ, I need a woman.

At times like this I'm kinda glad that it's not something I feel, I've never really craved company or affection in all my life so I don't really feel bad or anything really, if anything I'm a bit annoyed that everyone is always complaining about it because I don't particularly care, however it does make me feel a bit bad, in that I don't believe that feeling of loneliness or having someone is ever going to be a thing that I can relate to which does make me feel a bit alien to the whole human experience, especially considering how important media makes it out to be.

It's not like I've never experienced romance but last time was when I was 14 and I've never been atracted to anyone since, well that's a lie one time I did meet a flight attendant that I really liked but I only met her for like a day and it's probably the only time I've been smitten by looks, but that's liike twice in my life and only one was a real relationship but not really because we were kids and even though I did like her I was super cold and distant because that's just the way I am and I'd often ingore her or turn her down just because I didn't feel like it, and there wasn't even any heartbreak, we just moved to differen cities and that was that, which is weird because we were together until we were 16 yet I felt nothing, I remember it being nice but I'm not particularly nostalgic for it.

In any case like I said Valentine's day has never made me sad or crave a relationship, however it reminds me that there are just some things that I can never understand about people and leads me to question my humanity to a certain extent, it just baffles me that I can't relate to what are supposedly some of the most universal feelings, those of love and lust, but I just don't get it, and it's not like I haven't had sex I just don't crave it, I'm sure some of it is because I used to be afraid of all forms of physical contact but that's not really a problem anymore, it does make me slighty uncomfartable but it's not really a big deal.

I guess I lied it does affect me, it reminds I just can't relate to people and it frustrates me that there are things I can't understand, especially since I still act like such a know-it-all and when pressured I pretend I can relate because I feel answering honestly will just baffle everyone I know especially since people seem to be so fixated on sex, that I can't even answer honestly that I can't tell what makes a hot girl or a hot guy most of the time, anyway point is I don't get it and it kind off makes me feel dumb an confused more than actually sad.

Here's the thing. Love is a brain parasite. This holiday is a corporate attempt at squeezing that parasite for all its worth, a sort of parasite of parasites, if you will. It's cold, calculated cynicism wrapped in love hearts and puppies, with the occasional date rape thrown in like a razorblade nestled in a Halloween apple, except less sensationalised.
Now, brain parasites are alright I spose, as long as it's a two way thing of equal consent. But if it's real, every day should be a brain parasite celebration day, not a corporate annual obligation. Some couples I know have their anniversary as the brain parasite day, which is fair enough if every day is too much celebration for the ungrateful lazy bastards.

When I tell someone they're my favourite brain parasite, they, weelll...they run away. But I like to think they at least knew i was honest. And myself. And that's all you have to be to achieve you dreams! Failing that, MDMA is an acceptable substitute and the comedown is way more bearable.

Eh, I'm not in a part of the world where Valentine's Day is really a 'thing'...

That said, the first Valentine's I gave my missus was a plush carrot, happily accepted... make of that what you will.

Don't mind being single on V-Day.

Feeling particularly burned by the circumstances that left me single this year, but that's not so much the fault of V-Day.

Divorced for a year-and-a-half now. Never been happier.

Well, not since I was like 4 anyway. That was the best.

I'm in a relationship now, and don't really care about this holiday. I try to do spontaneous stuff with my SO whenever I think of stuff to do, it means more than a mandated and forced love day.

Before the relationship, I did my best to ignore it. Being single had it's ups and downs for me, but I was sad about it/ focused on the negative aspects of being single most when I was admonished, or otherwise had it thrust in my face. Best to hunker down and... well, actually, the comic strip said it all.

Avoid it and chill.

EDIT: You know what, though? it IS fun to watch little kids get excited to get little cards. It's like a mini-Easter for chocolates, too, and it's cute to watch the day-care kids having fun.

I keep having to try and see things from the point of view of my kid.

That's not a complaint, it just means I shouldn't be so set in my ways.

It's a construct designed to make you feel insecure so that you buy stuff. If you're not in a relationship, you're supposed to feel inadequate and buy stuff to make you more attractive; if you are in a relationship, you're supposed to buy stuff to "prove your love".

I'll save my money, thanks.

Neurotic Void Melody:
Here's the thing. Love is a brain parasite. This holiday is a corporate attempt at squeezing that parasite for all its worth, a sort of parasite of parasites, if you will. It's cold, calculated cynicism wrapped in love hearts and puppies, with the occasional date rape thrown in like a razorblade nestled in a Halloween apple, except less sensationalised.
Now, brain parasites are alright I spose, as long as it's a two way thing of equal consent. But if it's real, every day should be a brain parasite celebration day, not a corporate annual obligation. Some couples I know have their anniversary as the brain parasite day, which is fair enough if every day is too much celebration for the ungrateful lazy bastards.

When I tell someone they're my favourite brain parasite, they, weelll...they run away. But I like to think they at least knew i was honest. And myself. And that's all you have to be to achieve you dreams! Failing that, MDMA is an acceptable substitute and the comedown is way more bearable.

LOL! Why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel? X D

OT: I get more Valentines than I know what to do with and always have so I probably shouldn't bring up that part here. ALTHOUGH If you would like to bring some cheer to someone who is down on Valentines, bring some flowers, plants, or plushies to those in Hospitals and Nursing homes who don't have loved ones that come visit them. I donate my flowers and gifts to patients and they really seem to appreciate the thought. Some may have never received anything in their life, and it can really brighten their day when feeling down.

If you do not know anyone in particular to bring gifts to, dropping them off at a nurse's station at the Hopsital or front desk and tell them to give them to someone who has none and they will know exactly what to do with them. It does not have to be Valentines day though to do this, people appreciate the thought no matter when you send gifts.

EDIT: In my family it isn't just sweethearts who give gifts, I exchange gifts with my siblings, friends, peers and parents as well.. anyone who you love in your life. A nice note telling them you care means more than some may realize.

Happy Singles Awareness Day. Enjoy the 70% off chocolate.

Lil devils x:
LOL! Why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel? X D

That was the positive, upbeat family-friendly edit! Anyway, my therapist says I really shouldn't. Luckily for her, I don't exist and am just a figment of her imagination!

Hm...just had to Google 'figment' cause it didn't look like a real word anymore. That's weird.

Neurotic Void Melody:

Lil devils x:
LOL! Why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel? X D

That was the positive, upbeat family-friendly edit! Anyway, my therapist says I really shouldn't. Luckily for her, I don't exist and am just a figment of her imagination!

Hm...just had to Google 'figment' cause it didn't look like a real word anymore. That's weird.

How Meta can you get? You're a Made-Up Construct that self-defined using a word that didn't look real to you...

image

SckizoBoy:
That said, the first Valentine's I gave my missus was a plush carrot, happily accepted... make of that what you will.

Euphemism?

jademunky:
Divorced for a year-and-a-half now. Never been happier.

Funny thing, divorce. One minute, you're ready to spend the rest of your life with that special someone, the next, you'd love to go to the precise opposite side of the planet from that same person and establish a life there without them. I was with my ex-wife for 8 years (married for 4 of those;) on the day I filed the uncontested divorce and the judge said "divorce is granted," I did an involuntary fist pump; a stranger high-fived me on my way out of the court room; it was awesome.

That said, since my marriage, Valentine's Day has always been a very "meh" holiday for me. My current girlfriend was raised a Jehovah's Witness; she hasn't practiced in years, but grew up with a general indifference to all holidays, so thankfully, she doesn't want or expect much for any of them, least of all the Hallmark ones. I got her a pair of earrings, and we went out for dinner and drinks at a piano bar; we got drunk, fooled around, then passed out... shit we do all the time; it was literally just another Thursday. People, get yourselves a Jehovah's Witness S.O.; they might wake you up early on Saturdays, but you save a shit-ton on annual bullshit and pageantry.

But speaking of corporate-constructed cash grab holidays, I just learned that Sweetest Day is only a midwestern/northeastern USA thing? It's basically Valentine's Day, but in October and entirely secular (no saintly pretense.) Talk about a bullshit holiday; when I lived up there (in Ohio,) I remember girlfriends reminding me Sweetest Day was coming up, and thinking, "didn't we just do this in February? And aren't we about to do it again... in February??"

Drathnoxis:

McElroy:
I only bother because this relationship-thing (that I frankly know very little about) is the most important thing I can think of, and so I must, must pursue it although I seemingly can't find success on my terms.

What makes it so important? Life is too short to waste trying to make relationships work. Things are soooooooo much simpler if you're single.

I've spent enough time alone already.

PsychedelicDiamond:
Sometimes being alone fills me with a sense of overwhelming dread. I usually just ignore it. Of course this means my mental state has gotten a lot worse over the years. But I'm ignoring that too.

Nowadays I automatically evaluate each woman I meet based on how likely we are to end up together. And I really mean automatically, if my mind's not too occupied with anything else I'll often obsess over women. Not some fantasy or dream women either but the young and pretty girls I meet at the university, in classes, in hobbies and other activities. Like you, I also recognize it's probably not good for me, but I can't think of an alternative. It's a heap of issues that just keeps rising up with every new disappointment.

Xprimentyl:

Funny thing, divorce. One minute, you?re ready to spend the rest of your life with that special someone, the next, you?d love to go to the precise opposite side of the planet from that same person and establish a life there without them. I was with my ex-wife for 8 years (married for 4 of those;) on the day I filed the uncontested divorce and the judge said ?divorce is granted,? I did an involuntary fist pump; a stranger high-fived me on my way out of the court room; it was awesome.

Good to hear. We managed to just work through a paralegal and never had to set foot inside a courtroom (Canadian laws might be different). The two of us were together 11 years, married 7. For me it was a gradual case of the person I previously most looked forward to hanging out with becoming someone I was finding excuses not to. Also fights about money.

I spent last night out with a social group I belong to. I had the fun time of listening to a conversation about how people these days are waiting to long to have kids while I sat there as a 37 year old without kids. Made me really uncomfortable.

Frezzato:
Valentine's Day is a reminder to me of all the girls my friends tried to set me up with:

A girl who got kicked out of her parents' house because she got pregnant with a guy she worked with - after just one week of meeting him. Last I heard she became a stripper after they broke up and the guy left her with the child and no support. They had to move every two months as the bf spent all of their rent money on recreational mary jane by the fourth week of each month.

Another girl from Amsterdam who casually declared that America deserved 9/11. That was a quick no from me.

Another girl who HAD a boyfriend when we met. She told me she was just sticking with him until "something better came along". Yeah, no thank you, you hot, steaming pile of garbage.

A girl who had a callus on her right palm. I guessed it was from swinging on a pole and I was right. She wasn't looking for 'Mr. Right', she was looking for 'Mr. Right Now' as her boyfriend was kicking her out of the house.

Aaaand the last one, a former drug dealer from California who bragged about how easy it was to rip off other dealers.

Oh, there was the girl who came out of the closet not long after somebody tried to set me up with her.

.

I'm good being alone for now. I need to get the fcuk out of Florida.

Holy shit! Where do your friends find these women??? Do they not know anyone "normal?"

ObsidianJones:
How Meta can you get? You're a Made-Up Construct that self-defined using a word that didn't look real to you...

image

Meta-cubed? Metaception? Quick...This must be documented before it all faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

aegix drakan:
It's a stupid holiday designed to make you feel like if you don't buy expensive stuff for your sweetheart, you're a terrible person, and also makes single people feel lonely.

When I was alone it was discount chocolate eve, secondary to Easter which was discount chocolate egg eve (which was better because I like Cadbury eggs and peanut butter eggs).

I still don't spend much money on it, a box of chocolates and supermarket roses.

This year was different - cheap chocolates and roses for valentines, that weekend was overpriced pizza and coffee and proposing at a shelter at a state park -- it was a repeat of our first date (which is why I proposed at that shelter at that park).

I have no qualms with being lonely on this day, it?s all the bad shit that happens to me on this day. V-Day is my Friday the 13th. One year I got food poisoning, another I got beaten so badly I had to see a doctor about my injuries and got detention(and coming back I got nothing in my box like Ralph Wiggum since this was 5th grade). My dog from my childhood died another vday. A girl I was dating cheated on me on that day, and last year my dad tried to kill himself(mind you this was the first vday with my current girlfriend so I spent it crying in her arms).

Fuck this day but for different reasons.

You know, I have to wonder: While there are many Saint Valentines, It begs to be asked why the holiday that revolves around amorous love and affection is associated with a guy that was beaten, stoned, than beheaded?

RaikuFA:
I have no qualms with being lonely on this day, it?s all the bad shit that happens to me on this day. V-Day is my Friday the 13th. One year I got food poisoning, another I got beaten so badly I had to see a doctor about my injuries and got detention(and coming back I got nothing in my box like Ralph Wiggum since this was 5th grade). My dog from my childhood died another vday. A girl I was dating cheated on me on that day, and last year my dad tried to kill himself(mind you this was the first vday with my current girlfriend so I spent it crying in her arms).

Fuck this day but for different reasons.

I'll join on this bandwagon. My dad's stroke was on Valentine's Day, 2006. Has never been the same since.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here