Necromancy, the path to a brighter future?

For years, raising the dead has suffered under a negative public image. Images of decrepit figures wearing moldy tattered robes has plagued the profession for centuries. However, it's the modern era and change has been progressing faster than ever before. It's time to throw new light on the art of necromancy!

In the ever increasing pace of the world, it's getting harder enough time to find time for yourself let alone do the dishes, the laundry, clean the windows, vacuum the rugs, wash the floors, and on, and on, and on. Here at PostLife Career Solutions we've come up with a wonderful way to make your life easier! Human society will see productivity like never before. Consider this, 150,000 people across the globe die every single day! It's incredible that such a massive workforce has remained untapped for so long. Going forward the recently deceased are going to be one of our most valued resources. After all death isn't the end, it's more like a conclusion to retirement.

So whether you need someone to trim the hedges, do a bit of tidying up around the house, or fight in your unholy legion, come to PostLife Career Solutions. When Johnny said he'd sleep when he's dead, he hadn't considered all the fantastic job opportunities that would arise!

How are you expecting the fine art of necromancy to benefit your life in the future?

Oi!!! Get out of here you pesky Necromancers, leave those dead people alone. I don't know, there is always someone trying to put us poor hardworking undertakers out of a job.

Catfood220:
Oi!!! Get out of here you pesky Necromancers, leave those dead people alone. I don't know, there is always someone trying to put us poor hardworking undertakers out of a job.

Is it putting you out of a job or giving you more work? You can still put the dead away in conventional fashion; then the necromancers can do their part and that corpse will be running around again until it stops-- that's when you reenter the picture.

I think this has been covered in fantasy novels and games. In fact, it's just automation applied to fantasy.

What happens is that because so much societal work is achieved by the undead, there's a precipitous decline in the population (many of whom are now unable to support themselves) resulting in a ruling elite of decadent necromancer capitalists overseeing vast swathes of zombies.

Boooo! Jobs for the living! We already have massive unemployment across the globe. Don't think for a second that this wouldn't be used to make a whole load of rich fucks a whole lot richer by not paying their workforce.

*Looks up*

Well darn. I've written it already so I'm posting it.

As long as old forum threads don't get resurrected, go ahead.

CaitSeith:
As long as old forum threads don't get resurrected, go ahead.

Weeellll, now that you mention it... I was actually considering doing that to supplement the low thread count before I got distracted with making this thread.

Nah.
Neuromancy though, that's a different talk. The times that allow us to move out of this fleshy containers, can't come soon enough.

Dude, consider the consequences for a moment! Do you really want to live in a world where this happens???

I didn't think so.

Seanchaidh:

Catfood220:
Oi!!! Get out of here you pesky Necromancers, leave those dead people alone. I don't know, there is always someone trying to put us poor hardworking undertakers out of a job.

Is it putting you out of a job or giving you more work? You can still put the dead away in conventional fashion; then the necromancers can do their part and that corpse will be running around again until it stops-- that's when you reenter the picture.

Actually thinking about it, if the dead could dress themselves before putting themselves into their coffins, that would be incredibly helpful. And if I didn't have to go and collect them from the hospital and their homes, that would save a lot of time. I may be sold on this necromancy after all.

Agema:
I think this has been covered in fantasy novels and games. In fact, it's just automation applied to fantasy.

It's basically the role that zombies-oh I'm sorry "plods" fill in the webcomic Unsounded. They're essentially treated as machines; used to haul carts or turn wheel like motors.

Personally I think if you want to make your necromancy life choice legit, go into the medical profession. Use your powers to juggle death around to kill invading bacteria and feed their life force back into the patient. Resuscitate people far better than any defibrillator could. Use your ability to restore life to flesh to instantly heal wounds. Fifure out what someone died of by just bringing them back and asking them. You'd be the best damn doctor in the country

 

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