Twilight (Movie Review)

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Girl in my class yelling to friend: Hey want to go see twilight with us! Were going to go see it a second time it's so awesome!

I turn to tell friend: Yeah cam (friend's name) you love choppy special effects and half ass acting! Go see it, because we all know that you should trust people's tastes in movies when there three top ten movies are the three high school musical films.

a7r0p05:
Everyone here is wrong, Twilight is not the worst movie adaptation of a book...
...Eragon is.

Come on, I'd almost forgotten about that.

Lord Krunk:
In particular, it's where they meet.

If only they did not...

i read most of the first book because my sister said it was great. It was one of the worst books I've ever read, but my sister is seeing the movie for the third time... I don't understand why girls are so attracted to this series.

Wow guys, thanks for saving my life there. One of my friends was going to force me to go watch it, and all her friends went to go see it about two or three times too. Well, all I have to is suddenly come down with with a case of Salmonella or Ebola next week and I'll be in the clear.

a7r0p05:
Everyone here is wrong, Twilight is not the worst movie adaptation of a book...
...Eragon is.

Good point, but still that's like saying having your arm cut off isn't as bad as a leg, either way it's agony (just like the movies).

Reaperman Wompa:

a7r0p05:
Everyone here is wrong, Twilight is not the worst movie adaptation of a book...
...Eragon is.

Good point, but still that's like saying having your arm cut off isn't as bad as a leg, either way it's agony (just like the movies).

Never seeing this, Ever. Fuck Angsty vampires and this crappy writting, I desire Hotblood and courage! Epic Vampire vs. Hunter fights that reduce cathedrals to rubble!

Who the fuck decided that Vampires are 'Misunderstood' and all they want is love, they don't want fucking love they want to spread their plague of undeath on humanity.

I picture a vampire as an aloof rich bastard looking badass in a Manor even when nobodies around epically fighting whoever comes to fight him.

NOT DICKING ABOUT IN A SCHOOL WITH AN ANGSTY GIRL!

Reaperman Wompa:

a7r0p05:
Everyone here is wrong, Twilight is not the worst movie adaptation of a book...
...Eragon is.

Good point, but still that's like saying having your arm cut off isn't as bad as a leg, either way it's agony (just like the movies).

Touche...

Only reason I went to this movie was in hopes of getting the "Popcorn Surprise" And I end up getting compared to this stupid basterd on how romatic I am. I"M NOT ROMATIC give me a handjob allready.

I loved the movie. Mainly because everytime a vampire showed up in broad daylight, I imagined blade coming from out of nowehere and killing it. Ah....good times.

OnlySubscribedtoCommentYahtzee:
i read most of the first book because my sister said it was great. It was one of the worst books I've ever read, but my sister is seeing the movie for the third time... I don't understand why girls are so attracted to this series.

Sublimenal messaging, or perhaps they've smeared cocaine inside the books.

Science

scnj:

fluffylandmine:

Lord Krunk:
Oh, and this quote:

Maet:
Edward Cullen: "Hello. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"
Bella Swan: "Um... Yes."
Edward Cullen: (While sliding a microscope to Bella) "Ladies first."
Bella Swan: "You were gone."
Edward Cullen: "Um... Yeah. I was out of town for a couple of days. Personal reasons"
Bella Swan: (Pointing out the first stage of mitosis) "Um. Prophase."
Edward Cullen: (Reaching for the microscope) "Do you mind if I... Uh... Look? (Checking the microscope) Prophase..."
Bella Swan: "Like I said."

You would be disgusted to know that this was one of the key events of the book. Eugh.

You've got to be joking, if a single little minute of this were a key point, than that proves the whole story is pointless.

From what I've read, it is quite an important scene.

Science = Teenage attraction?

dalek sec:
Just wondering here but how flowerly is the writing in this story? I've heard a ton of insults about it but have never seen any examples of it.

Not overlooking http://www.twilight-quotes.com/; let's just take a few choice bits of purple.

Isabella Swan: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?
Edward Cullen: Yeah. Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it.

Isabella Swan: [to Edward] I know what you are. You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change colour and you never eat or come out into the sun.

Edward Cullen: I only said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.
Isabella Swan: What does that mean?
Edward Cullen: It means if you're smart... you'll stay away from me.
Isabella Swan: Okay, let's say for argument's sake that I'm not smart.

Edward Cullen: That's what you dream about? Being a monster?
Isabella Swan: I dream about being with you forever.

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
Isabella Swan: Then don't.

Now, compare that with a real werewolf

Being Human - George struggles over not killing someone:
The worst thing, the very worst thing, is that it feels so good. A week before I need glasses to watch the news, Mitchell has to open jars for me. Then suddenly everything starts to work. All my senses expand and there's this part of me that can't wait, that's turned on and hungry. The neck's amazing isn't it? This tangle of artery and muscle and sinew. Did you know there are two jugular veins? An internal one and an external one. I've met people what have tasted them. And they said the windpipe came away with a sigh of air from the lungs that was still warm. As they described it they had this look, like everything they do in between is just sleepwalking and it's only for those few moments that they are totally and truly alive. And there's part of me that would give anything to feel like they did, to taste what they taste. And that's the worst thing.

That's a real monster.

This movie is one of the few pluses of being single. My friend was dragged to this by his girl friend. Apparently it was agony.

My god that's just.. just awful! I mean I can't say that I'm a good writer but good lord even I could up with better writing than that! And coming from me that's pretty much a bitch slap to the face of the writer with a glove filled with nuts and bolts.

The_root_of_all_evil:

Isabella Swan: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?
Edward Cullen: Yeah. Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it.

Isabella Swan: [to Edward] I know what you are. You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change colour and you never eat or come out into the sun.

Edward Cullen: I only said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.
Isabella Swan: What does that mean?
Edward Cullen: It means if you're smart... you'll stay away from me.
Isabella Swan: Okay, let's say for argument's sake that I'm not smart.

Edward Cullen: That's what you dream about? Being a monster?
Isabella Swan: I dream about being with you forever.

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
Isabella Swan: Then don't.

The first four are definitely in the movie verbatim. The fifth one might have been, although it's entirely possible that I was fidgeting in my seat in an effort to ignore most of what was going on.

Maet:

The_root_of_all_evil:

Isabella Swan: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?
Edward Cullen: Yeah. Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it.

Isabella Swan: [to Edward] I know what you are. You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change colour and you never eat or come out into the sun.

Edward Cullen: I only said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.
Isabella Swan: What does that mean?
Edward Cullen: It means if you're smart... you'll stay away from me.
Isabella Swan: Okay, let's say for argument's sake that I'm not smart.

Edward Cullen: That's what you dream about? Being a monster?
Isabella Swan: I dream about being with you forever.

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
Isabella Swan: Then don't.

The first four are definitely in the movie verbatim. The fifth one might have been, although it's entirely possible that I was fidgeting in my seat in an effort to ignore most of what was going on.

I think those lines are more than this movie deserves. They almost sound good, and some have a little wit (though badly implemented) in them as well.

Adair_the_Skull:
Science

scnj:

fluffylandmine:

Lord Krunk:
Oh, and this quote:

Maet:
Edward Cullen: "Hello. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"
Bella Swan: "Um... Yes."
Edward Cullen: (While sliding a microscope to Bella) "Ladies first."
Bella Swan: "You were gone."
Edward Cullen: "Um... Yeah. I was out of town for a couple of days. Personal reasons"
Bella Swan: (Pointing out the first stage of mitosis) "Um. Prophase."
Edward Cullen: (Reaching for the microscope) "Do you mind if I... Uh... Look? (Checking the microscope) Prophase..."
Bella Swan: "Like I said."

You would be disgusted to know that this was one of the key events of the book. Eugh.

You've got to be joking, if a single little minute of this were a key point, than that proves the whole story is pointless.

From what I've read, it is quite an important scene.

Science = Teenage attraction?

It's a Biology Class, in particular.

Geddit?

Fuck Twilight, here's a real vampire.

Maybe I'm a little bit more of a pussy than I thought...

Anyhow, I read the book and watched the movie and enjoyed them. Personally,however, I liked the "New Moon" book best because the love is kept to a minamal, and the werewolves get to explain their point of veiw a bit better.

I was thinking on this today (Yeah I get bored)

Let's look at it closely.

Audience mostly of one gender/ Stilted dialogue / 'Re-imagined' (plagiarized) ideas / Long scenes of scenery / Lifeless Characters that are focuses for your own longings / Characters that are thrust towards intimacy by the plot rather than their own volition / Impossible leevls of endurance.

You're watching a teen-fangirl 'Blue Movie'.

This is basically "Emanuele" from an adolescent female psyche.

Pseudonym2:

Afterwards, Make them see A Scanner Darkly or Hearts and Minds as punishment.

Wow, if it makes A Scanner Darkly look good then it must be even worse than I imagined. And I imagined something pretty fucking horrifying.

I know im going to get alot of hate mail from this but oh well =D
The reason that the vampires sparkle in Twilight isnt because they are sparkly vampires. It's simply because they are blood sucking fairies! =D

I know its a little out dated but I had to post on this thread. I like vampires i like vampire movies, but the author of this book thinks shes the love child of Anne Rice and J.K. Rowling.

Its pathetic that a bunch of girls would pick up reading a book just because an "attractive" male vampire is portrayed. Now all these little girls (and some older ones) are running around all starry eyed for this shallow IQ diminishing novel and even worse movie. when I was a kid and running around pretending to be a vampire it was considered weird! Now its friggin' attractive!?

I'm going to watch it on friday to LOL at it and ruin it for the people waiting for the next showing, muahHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Maet:
Note: I watched Twilight so you don't have to!

Twilight

Agony. This one word effectively sums up Twilight without exaggeration. More of an endurance test than an actual film, Twilight fails to impress on any level.

I've never read Stephanie Meyer's novels about the love between a human girl and a vampire boy, largely because my imagining of a vampire involves the creature bursting into flames in sunlight and not sparkling as if a barrel of glitter had just been dumped on them. Vampires are supposed to be soulless nocturnal beasts that prey on the harmless and stupid humans of the world, not vegetarian pussies who play baseball in the rain or hop around the treetops. I thought that was the allure of vampires for sexually frustrated females in the first place? That they are tortured and misunderstood shells that would just as easily rip out your jugular as they would write you angsty poetry in eyeliner and brood over you for eternity. You remove that, and they become miserable sad sacks with the compelling force of a fridge-magnet. Thus the chief failing of Meyer's vampires is that they are not badass and ethereal, just wimpy and pathetic.

Seventeen year old Isabella Swan moved from Arizona to the shady and sleepy little town of Forks Washington, possibly because of her inability to tan well. Here, she meets the Cullens, a clan of covert vampires of similar complexion who remain isolated from the community. Not for any particularly sinister reason though, it's just the way they are. About an hour and a half of atrocious dialogue later, Isabella becomes the target of a rogue pair of vampires named James and Victoria who become terribly bored with un-life and decide to try and murder Isabella because... I don't know. Maybe they like a challenge? The narrative, much like everything else about the film, isn't handled very well................

Would you mind telling me a few of your favourite movies to put things in perspective?

People in this thread seem to be confused. I will help you.

First, there was an individual in this thread who listed "30 Days of Night" and "Blade 2" as examples of "real" vampires, with the implication being that these movies were decent, and perhaps worth the film they were burned onto.

They were not. Especially 30 Days of Night. Blade 2 gets a partial pass for being a sequel, and you can't expect those to meet the same standards as "firsts in a series". 30 Days of Night, however, was about "vampires" who spent the whole movie making bird noises. Perhaps I would've liked it better if the lead bad guy hadn't spent the whole film looking mildly surprised by everything due to his fake fangs not fitting in his mouth properly.

Secondly, Twilight is nothing new. Ten years ago it was called The Vampire Diaries. Twenty years ago it was called The Vampire Chronicles. They've always been basically the same idea, and they've always been terrible books written for women who don't really understand how men or relationships work. It's a cycle. Just ride it out.

- J

tooktook:
Would you mind telling me a few of your favourite movies to put things in perspective?

I don't see what it has to anything, but fine:

-Most James Bond movies
-Pixar movies
-Iron Man stands as one of my favourite movies of 2008 (head and shoulders above The Dark Knight)
-I have a soft spot for musicals, notably My Fair Lady (1964) and Jesus Christ Superstar (1971)
-Patton (1970)
-Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

I guess you see where I'm going with this.

I read the first book and wasn't impressed, I didnt hate it but it was sub-par. Pattisons acting is supposed to hilarious, that's what I'm going to the movie for.

I have one recommendation for all y'all:

Twilight in 15 Minutes

After reading this, I went and saw Twilight in the cinema with my sister, and both of us were laughing our asses off. The totally serious dialogue became laughably obvious in its horribleness and I had a fantastic time.

PS Twilight in 15 Minutes and all related parodies are the property of Cleolinda Jones. Copy/paste at your peril.

Several girls in my Spanish class started talking about this movie last week. When I explained to the other boys in the class that the vampires SPARKLE, there was an immediate backlash.

I'm ashamed to say it, but my two sisters love the books.

Best line in the movie "I like watching you sleep" for i used that line to creep out my friends before twilight came out (none were flattered tho) The movie was suppose to be serious but when you watch it you can't help but laugh because it was so terrible just the acting alone it enough to make your sides ache, its like watching one of the original batman its so corny its funny

a7r0p05:
Everyone here is wrong, Twilight is not the worst movie adaptation of a book...
...Eragon is.

And you are completely right (the twilight movie wasn't a bad adaption it was just a bad book)

One thing did impress me about this film, it's how despite watching TV in the dark, the fucking logo STILL managed to blind me from the brightness from the trailer.

I completely agree with everything you said. My sister is so enthralled with the whole aspect of this Edward figure and we constantly argue about what a REAL vampire is. She has no concept of it, this book has brought up a new generation of people that believe that vampires are pathetic beings with hearts that sparkle in the sun. Gag me.

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