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...flaming battle-axe that's also a lightning-summoning guitar? Oh right, because she is my Clemintine and I need her to... | |
- kill everyone. Meanwhile in nerd history - | |
...Jack Black and Tim Schafer really were in the planning stages for Brutal Legend 2, they just didn't want to admit it until they're in alpha-testing. The next time Ozzy Osborne offers to upgrade my car, I'll... | |
say: "wait, Ozzy's not a mechanic!" That's right! I killed . . . | |
...the world! And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for... | |
- those meddling kids and their guitar that shoots lightning. Sometimes I wonder if I should just - | |
...dance with these skeletons in the pale moonlight. It'll be a better use of my skills than trying to dance with the flower-girl at that wedding because... | |
She is actually made of flowers. Step 2.......... | |
...smash the skeletons to bits and use their bones to build a cannibal's food cage. But when the food escapes via Flintstones-inspired methods... | |
- you need to burn it. Fyre festival is best - | |
-avoided like the plague. When a cat naps in your lap, it is imperative you... | |
- smack it for daring to touch you. I do enjoy a good - | |
...animal abuse, apparently. The next excellent horror movie will feature a monster that... | |
- kills people by ripping their spines out. How many roads must - | |
...killer old men escort children across during a global extinction event before we're done exploring the human condition in that specific way? Anti-American Eagle is obviously as excited for the next Predator movie as I am, but neither of us expected the surprise hit in... | |
Robert Rodriguez's Predators. The orgy was brought to a grinding halt by. . . | |
- the guns shoved in the back of the people who didn't realize they were a sacrifice. I am - | |
The Dragon Warrior! Get it! see the giant. . . | |
- man, eating our children! Stop it now while we still - | |
have children to offer as tribute to be spared from Yyog Sossoth. Get Ready to feel the . . . | |
- burning taste of the new Gatorade! It's fire-ifficly - | |
designed to burn the esophagus. The academy award for the female orgasm goes to. . . | |
Geoffrey rush! Wait really? When you get down to brass tacks............. | |
you have to wonder why they are making tacks out of brass. My warriors, follow me and I shall lead you to. . . | |
a disappointing meal and really bad music. This button will... | |
......Open the door to the elevator. Why did you tell...... | |
Johnny to buzz off? now he thinks he's a fly! Oh great, I think I just stepped in. . . | |
- my neighbours blood. Somebody once told me - | |
you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend. If you can't beat them. . . | |
- splatter them across the pavement. That'll stop them. | |
dead in their tracks! I was too spicy for. . . | |
- my clocks. How many clocks does it take to - | |
to make a clockwork golem? The Broncos incredible run to their Super Bowl 50 championship made me feel . . . | |
nauseous. I can't think of a more appropriate time to... | |
go streaking! Did you know that in Baton Rouge it is illegal to ride a giraffe while. . . | |
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