Granted but you materialize in the middle of space and only have 30 seconds left to live...<.<

I wish I had an ATI Redeaon HD 6970...

Granted, but its glitchy and overheats all the time.

I wish I had better social skills.

Granted, but no one watches it. It gets cancelled before it can finish its first season.

I wish I could turn into a cat and back at will.

Granted, but it sucks, and is loaded with product placement.

I wish The Elder Scrolls series would just stay dead.

Granted, but it dispenses all of them on top of you. You're dead... but hey, at least you're immortalized on Youtube.

I wish I had a job at the Escapist.

Granted but your encased in cement and trapped under the sea.

I wish I had the chance to break something of very high value.

Granted, but you can't control what it turns you into, and it always seems to turn you into something really weird at the worst possible times. Like turning you into a tentacle monster at a dinner party. *sending vile mental images to havass*

I wish my cat could live longer.

Granted but it can't move.

I wish I had full control over the element of earth.

Granted, but you chose the wrong element. You should have chosen fire. Also you are on fire.

I wish I didn't have to get out of my chair to pee.

EDIT: I wish I wasn't just ninja'd.

Granted, now you pee non-stop wherever you are 24/7.

I wish others could see how beautiful and terrible the randomness of the universe is.

Granted but they don't believe what they're seeing.

I wish I knew how to build a super computer.

Granted, but your arms fall off and you go mute.

I wish I had the Portal Gun.

Granted, but Portal 2's release date has been pushed back again.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

Granted but your eaten by me.

I wish I knew and mastered all forms of martial arts.

Granted, but you still can't dodge bullets. The first person who fights you in the ring guns you down.

I wish Eumersian had an avatar.

Granted but they stop using all forms of grammar.

I wish I could buy somthing at £1000 and pay for it all in pennies. (Actually I've always wanted to do this, just so I can see the look on the sales person's face)

Granted, but he dies of 'overload pennies' syndrome. Congratulations!

I wish to find happiness

Granted, but you can only wish for more wishes now. Idiot.

I wish for infinite money.

The money is counterfeit. The police are knocking on your door right now!

I wish to face the worst fate possible. Ruin that bitch!

Granted, but its written by Stephanie Meyer.

I wish Stephanie Meyere had never written the Twilight series.