Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted, but you now have an unnatural attraction to blue lights of all sizes.

I wish I had a horse that appeared when I whistled.

Granted. It has the plague in an extremely easily transferable form.

I wish my RP would get a fucking move on!

Granted. It has the plague in an extremely easily transferable form.

I wish my RP would get a fucking move on!

Granted, but only because the thread is filled with flamers and spammers.

I wish that I was able to do all of my university work to a 1st standard and pass through university with my degree, find a good job and live the rest of my life happy with my beloved girlfriend.

Granted. But your life is for a year. Then you are both killed by something indeterminate.

I wish I didn't have school tomoz!

Granted, you have detention for the whole of tomorrow.

I wish I had time controlling powers.

Granted, it takes five hours to activate said power, and you can only go back in time five hours.

I wish for happiness for the next person who posts.

Granted, but in exchange you live a sad and unfulfilled life.

I wish to take over the world.

Granted, but your traitorous counsellors usurp you almost immedietly

I wish for a pancake.

Granted, but it is covered in something rather disturbing looking.

I wish for the next wish to go uncorrupted.

All beings, constructs and places named 'For The Next Wish' are now uncorrupted, and now actively try to hunt you down/bar you from entering their boundaries as you've gone and spoilt their fun.

I wish to steal all hope from the next person.

Granted, but it's the next person you love.

I wish for a large tasty ice cream.

Granted, but it melts when exposed to air.

I wish to make it to 2013.

Granted, however we're not paying for it.

I wish I had one more post on my count.

Granted, but you are on probation for spamming.

I wish college textbooks didn't cost so much...

Granted, textbooks for all subjects but your own are given a price reduction.

I wish that I could fall asleep easier.

Granted, but to sleep easier means you need to unburden, with absolute truth, all of your deepest fears, lusts, secret acts and deplorable wishes in a press conference to the entire world.

I wish icecream only came in vanilla flavor, and I was the first one to introduce the chocolate variety.

Granted, but someone else successfully files the patent before you can.

I wish I had a time machine and could ignore the effects of any paradoxes I create.

Granted, but your time machine takes you to the birth of the Earth and your time machine stops working.

I wish I was the Death Reaper.

Granted,you are the Grim Reaper's comatose father, the Death Reaper.

I wish I was a Fox in a box.

Granted, but you have socks in a box with a fox.

I wish I was the Grim Reaper instead of the death reaper.

Granted, but you fail to wear the required shade of black cloak and are banished to wander the earth as an impotent and invisable skeleton.

I wish for a puppy.

Granted, but it's dead.

I wish I was in Limbo instead.

Granted. Limbo is just a grey, featureless plain of which there is no escape and there is no one else.

I wish for a door shaped like a moose.

Granted, but the door won't give a shit for anyone.

I wish I had a good movie.

Granted. It was so awesome, it causes your brain to explode, killing you.

I wish my Chair was just the right size.

I wish he had made a bloody wish.

*Granted to Blue*
Granted, it's earth size!

I wish I had a better hardrive.

Granted, but then every single part in your computer kills themselves because the hardrive is just so much better compared to them.

I wish Blue Musician would calm down and wait for more then a minute for me to fix the mistake I caught, but was prevented from from fixing it in two seconds flat because of my shitty computer.

And also for a pony.

Granted, but the pony is dead too, and booby-trapped. There's also lots of flies around it.

I wish I could teleport anywhere, anytime, with perfect precision.

Granted, I thought it already passed too much time. Someone did the same mistake in another thread BTW.

Also here is your pony.

I wish I wasn't misunderstood.

Granted, just don't get near my house.

I wish he didn't ninja'd me.

Granted. He assassinates you instead.

I wish for a 330 inch wide garden hose.

Granted, but it only works when you wish it wasn't t here.

I wish he wished I wished something that worked.

Um, I don't know how this works, but the something that works is a 50 megaton hydrogen bomb, so whoever gets it, sorry.

I wish I had the Cat's wardrobe.

Granted, but Cats wear no clothes so you get nothing :P

I wish I had demonic powers.

Granted, but a priest walks in and kills you with holy water.

I wish I had my very own battle robot. One who is loyal to me and will destroy my enemies.

Granted. You get a battle robot who is loyal to me and will destroy my enemies. Oh, you wanted one that was loyal to you, didn't you?

I wish I could ride a sheep to work every day.

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