Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Seeing as how you didn't really wish it, I'm going to regard it as a statement..

I wish I had a lucky duck that would follow me around.

Granted, but it only follows you around because it wants to eat you!

I wish my brother stopped bothering me.

Granted, but now it bothers you that he has stopped.

I wish he made a wish.

Granted but his wish made you sad

i wish i could make fire with my mind

Granted but you set your self aflame each usage.

I wish my Dreamcast worked again...

Granted, but to make it work the life force of one hundered kittens was removed. I hope you're proud of yourself.

I wish next weeks NCIS was on today.

NCIS is still shit though.

I wish they'd re-run The Long Firm.

Granted, but all the actors and actresses have been replaced by 20 somethings who think they can act.

I wish I could get more sleep tonight.

Granted. But you never wake up.

I wish my post gets Ninja'd...


I wish I had a good, working espresso machine.

Granted, but he won't approve of any Renegade choices you make.

I wish someone would make me chocolate pudding at 4 a.m.

Granted but it is total jankenstein.

I wish I knew the definition of the term "jankenstein".

Granted but you forget the definitions to all other words in the english language.

I wish I had a super computer.

Granted, but it achieves self awareness and tries to kill all mankind.

I wish I had a super fast car.

Granted. You get killed in a drag race crash because your car was too fast for you to control.

I wish for me to not feel like I'm sick.

Granted. Instead you feel like you're dying a painful death.

I wish for peanut butter.

Granted, but it gets stuck on the roof of your mouth, and you'll never get if off.

I wish there would be a new Gex game that didn't suck.

Granted, but it blows instead.

I wish i had knives on chains like Kratos

Granted, but they are seared onto your skin, so you can never take them off.

I wish Fallout: New Vegas wasn't so buggy.

Granted, but it requires more processing power than Crysis.

I wish I had some food right now.

Granted, but it's dog food.

I wish for the power of x-ray vision.

Granted, but instead of X-Ray eyes, you get the electricity needed to run them (the "power" of them, get it? LOLZ).

I wish I had a cat.

Granted, but it's Big the cat.

I wish for immortality.

Granted. However, after about a week of immortality, you fall in and are trapped forever in concrete, with no one ever knowing you were there.

I wish that I get to live in an igloo for a month.

Granted, but you have no clothes.

I wish I get what I want.

Granted. Be VERY careful what you think from now on.

I wish I had a House Elf that would shovel the driveway for me.

Granted but it's wage is so big you have to sell the house and the driveway.

I wish I was loved by women every where.

Granted, but Susan Boyle ends up on your doorstep.

I wish I had a pet duck.

Granted, but it flies away and never come back after about a week.

I wish for more snow.

Granted, but there is so much snow that you are snowed in so heavily your house collapses.

I wish I hadn't prestiged...

Granted, you couldn't prestige because you don't have hands.

I wish to be a international playboy.

Granted, you are employed in Thailand and Pakistan and only popular in Tibet.

I wish Donald Trump was my sugar daddy.

Granted, but he requires "relief" every 6 minutes.

I wish I knew who stole my SNES.

Granted. the guy/girl who stole your SNES told you they stole it...right before they kill you so you don't report whoever it is to the police.

i wish the world worked like a Mortal Combat stage.

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