You know you've been on the Escapist too long when...

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The Red Army's returned for another concert.

There's now a West and East Korea.

It's snowing in Cape Town.

Soul Arts are taught in University.

Mysticism's back in style.

Penises are registered as lethal weapons.

There's an army of necromancers comin'!

Goro lives...again.

Someone's found the Crown Killer. Again.

Mr Denmark has come back from the dead.

There's a putty snake on the table.

London has gone gay, in that sense.

You've lost your parasol in the sewer level.

You remember Pre-YouTube days.

You don't remember any of the rules so you just stick to games to stay safe

There's more jobs online.

You can lay a hollow poop.

There's an 1800 to 1 chance of being killed by a Satsuma.

Shermans are actually pretty good now.

Dracula hasn't aged well.

You hvabiblbiblbbiblbibblbiblifficulty speaking English sometimes.

It's really cold most mornings.

Your brain broke again.

Your browser needs clearing out.

Everything la-a-a-a-ags.

You haven't made brown in 96 hours.

You don't know whose mug that is or how it got there.

You're craving a bag of Smarties.

The left arm's gone numb now.

Final Fantasy XV is out.

You can't feel your eyes.

Dinosaurs are in again.

You don't quite know where the weed spot is...

New Ebony & Ivory coffee.

The new national dish is blini.

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