Mall Fight - Back To Basics (Open)

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I respawn inside of Zep's brain.

"So was I! I just did it with a gun!" (Me)

My brain grows arms and legs and starts fighting Eric.

I wrestle it into submission.

"Ha! I am the master!" (Me)

My Brain's Brain climbs out with a bazooka! Exploding Eric to nothing but splatter.

"Now to take over the Mall!!" It shouted.

I respawn.

"We're doing plot in this Mall Fight!?" (Me)

I respawn infornt of Eric, grab him around the neck, and teleport to The Highest Point In The Mall (Or THPITM).
"Read the rules Eric,No Conventional Weapons." His gun disappears, and I throw him off THPITM.

I spawn behind Knife uppercut him in the groin he throws up and then I kick him off THPITM.

During my victory dance I slip and fall off THPITM and land on Eric killing both of us.

Knife: Fall in a more hard-boiled manner.
image
This is how a real man falls. A man's man.

As I recover from the mental attack. I run over to a trampoline store. I put it under Knife's fall.

As he lands he is sent back up to THPITM, but goes higher and impacts a ceiling, splattering everywhere.

Knife-28:
whatever nationality he is because I'm too lazy to look at his profile.

OOC: I'm Scottish.
Just... yep.

I spawn in a bakery and arm myself... with cake.
And bread knives.
And a hairnet for head protection. Lucky I did, because bits of Knife splatter onto me as I leave.

I respawn.

"Knife, this gun shoots killer bees, not bullets, and is thus unconventional." (Me)

I shoot a horde of loyal killer bees at Knife. They invade his every orifice and brutally murder him.

I plant a slice of Victoria Sponge on a plate on the ground and lie in wait in the shadows.
This plan cannot possibly fail, because everyone loves cake.

I grab a mall-cop car, and race down the hallway, running over Twibly's cake trap.

I make a sad face, then scrawl 'smooshed my cake' onto my list of Reasons I'll Kill Zeph, under 'vacuum cleaner' and 'balls'.
Then I throw down a cupcake.

I put the cart into reverse and run over the cupcake too.

OoC: I'm a horrible person...

I perform a sweet-ass ninja-style leap and (mostly) decapitate Zeph with my two bread knives, then start driving around with my new allies Mr Body and Sir Head.

I respawn on the back of the cart, and pick up Sir Head. "You look familiar... Have I met you before?"

I yelp in fear and do some specifically NOT sweet-ass, or ninja-style, moves and buck Zeph, Mr Body and myself off the cart.
I land in a hat shop, and decide to declare myself Baron von Hattington.

I grab one of those beer helmets, and headbutt Twibly.

I resist getting lamped by wearing a trilby.
Trilbyception.

I respawn, and walk over to Eric. "A gun that shoots killer bees eh?" I say, "Well I counter with *Drematic Reveal* the CANDY CORN HANDGUN!
image

I gather up many hats and get back on the cart, then drive dangerously around.

I respawn on top of the cake crushing it. In a blind fit of rage I dive into the shadows and bite out Trilby's jugular vein.

I find a vending machine and smash it grabbing to root beers and a 'Sir Fizzy'z Absurdly Fizzy Drink in a Can'... I stick the two root beers into the beer helmet, and start to shake the third. Eventually the pop was about to burst and I walk over to the nearest person and offer it to someone.

I drive violently at Zeph's face (and the rest of his body too).

I throw the pop can at the cart, hopping the little knock will make the pop can explode.

The can doesn't explode, but it bounces up and hits me in the face. I swerve and bump into Zeph side-on. "You got my trilbies wet. FOR THAT, YOU MUST DIE!" I say, then I pounce on Zeph, grab a can of soda and turn it into...

club soda.

TrilbyWill:
The can doesn't explode, but it bounces up and hits me in the face. I swerve and bump into Zeph side-on. "You got my trilbies wet. FOR THAT, YOU MUST DIE!" I say, then I pounce on Zeph, grab a can of soda and turn it into...

club soda.

I respawn in a music store next to a drum set.

"AH! CLUB SODA! MY ONE WEAKNESS!!" I scream.

I make a sad face. "WHY WOULD YOU EAT MY HAT!" I yell, then give Bryghtside a Glasgow Grin with a breadknife.

"Trilby! Look over there!" I point in a random direction. "A DISTRACTION!!"

Using a piece of wiring like a vine, I swing along and grab SirBryghtside. "Never fear, I will save you!" I say, before he slips out of my hands and into the broken glass store.
"..."
"Well shit"

I tackle Zep into a tank of acid inside the acid store.

I watch as a guy named Zap Brannigan get attacked by Eric. "Well that was odd."

"Trilby? Can you get off me now?"

"ZEP! I SAID ZEP!" (Me)

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