Help me

My bf and I have been together for 4 years. On and off since last year. When we broke up last year, his best friend started talking to me. One thing lead to another and we slept together. My mind wasn't in the right place back then. I was at my lowest point. My guy and I got back together six months ago. Everything was picture perfect. We love each other like crazy, there is no doubt about that. Now the thing is that I was so ashamed to tell him and couldn't do so until he cornered me. Till then, his best friend was lying to him and I told him the whole truth. I love him so much that I can't imagjne my life without him and I hate myself so much for what happened. I've been trying to get us through this rough patch but he can't seem to forget it regardless of how much he loves me. He has forgiven me but can't seem to forget it. Please tell me what to do. What should I do to make him trust me aagain? To make everything okay again. We want to leave from here ASAP but we can't do that for at least a year. I feel so messed up because he had plans on proposing to me right before he found out. How can I make him forget this?

I want you to think about what you're asking for: it's impossible. People can forget; they forget where they left their phone, or their car keys. But something like this cannot be forgotten. Forgiven? Certainly. But not forgotten, especially because of all people it had to be with his best friend.

You're clearly distraught, and you sound desperate, which will only lead to further exasperation and complications.

Go to couples counseling. Get professional help.

Something similar happened to me once. I was on the receiving end. I feel like there's things we both could have done differently, otherwise, we might have stayed together. We both handled it very badly.

I'd suggest reading this: It seems like sensible advice to me.

If you are unable to follow these, counselling is the way to go. You are right that trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and you are obviously missing that element right now. Here's a resource on that as well if it helps:

Talk about it. It's already a good thing he actually knows it, because it could make for (potentially more) trouble later on. Seeing you're in a rough patch right now, it can only get better. I'd say, talk about it. Tell him you feel like he can't forget it and it is noticable in his behaviour. If you're letting him alone with his thoughts on this, i don't think it will improve out of itself. Maybe have his friend talk to him, if they're still friends, that is. You can only move forward.


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