I'm not sure whether to blame myself and probably had it coming, but a guy I have been getting to know over the course of two months just blocked me on all social media and over text.
We met on a dating site by pure fluke (but lived 6 hours drive from one another). We really hit it off and he came down for a weekend to see me. One thing he was honest about, was that he had a close female friend. He had mentioned her as his sister was getting married and this female friend asked if she could crash at his place, which he said yes.
He admitted to me they had slept together in the past and that he cheated on her with an ex gf. He said this was the first time he ever cheated and he learnt a lot and would never do it again. He told me although this female friend was in his life, he had zero feelings for her, even though he did admit she was in love with him and had always wanted more.
Naturally this made me wary, and even though we weren't dating, I think it just wore away at me knowing the day was coming that she would stay (which is this weekend), and concerns about his boundaries with friends, as he said he respected her and was acting distant so she didn't get any ideas, although it always played on my mind.
I tried to let it go but just couldn't. I went on vacation and as he lived close to where I was vacationing, he came down and spent 5 days with me and we did a lot of fun things together. I find it hard to connect with people and really delt
a bond with him, but it was always in the back of my mind I could get hurt by this female friend. While we were on vacation she text him asking why he was being distant, and he showed me his responses to her saying he was keeping his distance because he respects her and doesn't want her thinking they are more than they are.
What I really didn't understand is why she would ask that, and this showed me that he talks to her a lot more either when a girl is t around or when he is single, as no friend would ask why someone was being distant. He also liked her selfies a lot.
I decided after the vacation although I really didn't want to do so, to tell him we should just be friends, not because I didn't have feelings, br because I didn't want to be hurt; and he agreed it was probably for the best as I had such an issue with his female friend.
I will admit I was very upset and kind of flipped flopped back and forth, saying it wasn't what I wanted, but he just said we weren't right for each other and it was the right decision.
Yesterday I got pretty upset because his contact has been lacking, and he would tell me he was busy but I would see him replying to other people on social media, so I got really upset yesterday and just said screw this: and how he was lying to me about being busy, and he was not at all respectful. I know I shouldn't have said it and it was anger driven, but his response was to say that he doesn't deserve being questioned and his respect being questioned, and we are finished and he blocked me on all social media. I know there isn't really any advice that anyone could give as its pretty clear it's finished, but I'm very hurt because I grew such attachment to him, and just like that he cut me off like I was nothing to him, and I really did cherish our bond.
So I guess my question is, is there anything I can do? How can I move on? We never slept together either because I noticed he had something down below, and I told him he should get it checked out. He found out 2 days ago when getting it checked out that it was in fact genital warts, which he thought were skin tags, and after that diagnosis I was still there for him (actually came to find out they came from the girl mate he cheated with).
I probably hounded him a lot which was not a good start to a relationship, but it still hurts that he cut me off like I was nothing to him.
It sounded like he was being open and honest from the start, about a lot of things.
You are of course entitled to have misgivings about a situation, but it reads like you continued to mistrust him for having a close female friend (despite his transparency), and when you wanted to remain friends he most likely took that as a polite form of rejection and tried to gently part ways (even online).
I don't think there is anything that can be done really. Best to move on, and take this as a learning experience.
tough but I guess the only thing is to move on and learn from the experience. Lots of fish out there