The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

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The Avatar Adventure is an Open RPG because you don't need stat-points or character sheets. You can come in and be anything you want; a main hero, a main villain, an NPC (helpful or random), a Random Encounter, a quest giver, or even an item. You character is your Avatar, and can either BE whoever your avatar is (if, for example, it's Link or Freeman) or you can make a new character with your avatar's looks/powers/body.
There's very little rules that need to be followed.

Simply, you just drop in and use your Avatar to move the plot. The only rules I'd like to be followed is:
You have to contribute to the plot: Doesn't matter if your just going to pop in now-and-again or be a constant player, each post should move the plot a little bit.

Don't control the story by yourself: Each post gives you temporary powers as a DM, so don't abuse it and don't disrespect the previous poster. You have to react to the story, not change it to your image. For example, if the previous posts were all about getting ready to go to X Village to fight some boss, don't put in your post that everyone changes their minds and decides to have a cookie party.

KEEP IT SIMPLE!!! A common problem in previous instalments of this RP is that people got it in their minds to create 5 paragraph long posts where they put in detail about their character, what they did, why they did it, what color their weapon was when they did it, etc. Here at the AA, designated Players will provide the Plot, Conflict, etc. You just relax and just post whatever your character would do (preferably in a funny manner) and some of the things that happen in reaction to your actions.

There will be Designated Players I.E, players who provide the Plot and Conflict, and are okay to have a little more power then the average player. This will only go to those I trust and believe are capable of the responsibility.
Also, their will be at least One DP for the good guys and one DP for the bad guys. They will provide the quests for you, either for their own kind (we gotta find some power ups!) or to the opposing side (we gotta ambush them!)

Don't make All Powerful Characters This means any creature that can do anything he/she wants, has no weaknesses and is the super-bestes, etc. Though their isn't a real "character sheet," you character should have at least the following basics:

-One All Powerful attack plus a few smaller attacks or means to attack
-One Weakness, Specific or General it doesn't matter
-One way to get out of serious trouble but only to be used rarely if at all!

Only Once Character Per Player Meaning no making a Good Guy and a Bad Guy
NOTE! If you'd like to make a duo character, ie superhero and loyal side-kick, that is acceptable.

Using other characters in your posts is okay, but not necessary: This means that in your post you can say what the other characters did (exp, I would say how Mr. Ninja used his skills to find a door if it was in my post). But you should only do this if either a)the character's person hasn't posted in a while or b) if it is crucial to the plot of the RP.
ALSO, you can't make major decisions for that character, like dying or quiting or giving up some uber power, for that character. If you think you won't be on the thread for a while (or just get sick of it) please be sure to off your character if it's a main one, either through a death or simply saying "bye." Thank you.

When you come in, try to stay the same What I mean is, if you come in as a Good guy, try to stay a good guy unless you have a good reason, ie, NOT cause the bad guys have a cooler base then ours.

Have Fun. This is not supposed to be a serious thing. I hope to have this adventure become a funny one, so post with jokes or a relaxed manner. No need to be serious about it.

Also, any comments/messages/you saying something should be either put in a Spoiler box OR a PM. If you have any problems with this thread (poor/disrespectful players, bad rules, ideas to improve RP, confusion on the plot) please PM me for any of that.

Other wise, Enjoy!

To be brought to the start of a new adventure, follow this.

In a quiet meadow in a grassy field, Ram strolls through his land. He mighty goat legs pound against the Earth, because he felt like they should. He flexes his neck muscles, giving the group of femal goats a better look at his mighty 4 foot horns. They merely giggled and hoped to the other side of the meadow.

Ram sighed, and wished for a better life. He continued his stroll through the meadows when he came apon a road. "I know what I'll do!" Ram thought. "I'll just wait here for some passing adventurers, and join them in their quest, or maybe even lead them to some quests of my own."

So Ram sat by the road, and waited.

Heavy breathing from near the road cut off sharply before Alan Wake sat upright, blinking through tired eyes that were framed by purplish bags of fatigue. The grass of the meadow reached his neck and tickled his somewhat unshaven chin. When he spotted the white ram sitting by the road, he blinked again, this time in confusion. It appeared as though the ram was.. hitch-hiking?

Not wanting to feel the wrath of any mysterious ram, Alan made to stand upright. As he did so, the trailing end of a red scarf wrapped casually around his neck tightened, trapped beneath his foot. With a gurgling sort of choking noise, it yanked him back down toward the earth and filling his face with unpleasant dirt. He groaned, and then, slower this time, stood again.

He hesitated, staring at the ram. Then he stared at the ram's horns.

..I do NOT want those chasing me. He stood still, unsure of whether to bolt or slowly back away. Maybe it would wander off?

..Or maybe it was conspiring against him..

Alan didn't like rams at all.

"Man I'm still lost." The Space Cowboy called Spike said aloud as he wandered down the dusty track through the meadow.

"Maybe I can find some fellow hitchhikers or something to keep me company."

With that some female goats sprinted past him, knocking him to the floor. Spitting out some dust he got to his feet and shook the dirt off of his trenchcoat. "Where the hell did those come from?" Spike shook his head as he watched the herd turn into a cloudy dust spec on the horizon.

He wandered in the direction of where they had come from and approached the top of a hill. Down below he saw a rather dissatisfied looking Ram and what appeared to be a video game character. "Whats he doing to that scarf?" Spike asked himself as he wandered down to say hello.

A cart suddenly careened past, the horse pulling it wild-eyed and snorting. It appeared to be fleeing a swarm of bees. Before anyone could really do much to stop its rampage, it was around the bend, having dumped off a largish trunk that was chained shut and stamped all over with various symbols. Muffled sounds could be heard from inside.

Also a female voice, and she didn't sound happy...

This is getting too wierd. Alan watched as the thick trunk bound free from the horse-drawn cart, and its contents began to protest loudly. He stared at the trunk, contemplating, and failing to notice the Space Cowboy beyond the hill. Would the ram chase him, should he decide to open the trunk? Whoever was inside could be injured, the victim of some cruel prank.

He felt that he wasn't in Washington anymore.

Keeping an eye on the ram and its massive horns, Alan tip-toed across the field toward the heavily chained trunk. Who would think of doing such a thing, trapping a woman in a trunk? And should he be worried? Was he edging closer towards a Pandora's box that shouldn't be opened?

Dismissing these silly ideas, Alan stopped before the trunk, observing the strange symbols stamped upon its face. He leaned forward and tugged at one of the chains that strapped it shut, wondering how he could open it- if it could even be opened at all.

He paused, then knocked on the hood of the trunk. "..Hello?"

The Ninja Monkey, tired after all of his escapades in attempting to control the banana of time and space, walked down the road that passed by the Ram's pasture. He saw Spike, an old friend and walked over to him. "How you doin', Spike?"

"Hey! Rag! I'm fine, how 'bout yourself?"

"Better than I was a few hours ago. I just..." Suddenly they both heard a tremendous crash and rushed to find out what it was. They saw a young man apparently sneaking up on a chest and attempting not to be seen by Ram, who was trying so hard not to laugh at his incompetence at sneaking that he was shaking. Spike and Ragnorak went straight past the incompetent sneaker to talk to Ram. "Hey, old friend! How have you been?"

"Oh, so-so. I'm bored. Want to go on a grand adventure with me?"

"Sure!" replied Ragnorak. Maybe an Adventure will help me forget..." Ragnorak shuddered.

"What is it?" asked Spike, clearly concerned for his friend's well-being.

"I...I just watched the most horrible anime ever at the behest of someone who said it was the best. Hey, how 'bout our quest be to punch the creator in the throat! That would make me feel much better."

"Which anime?" asked Ram.

"E...Elfen Lied." Rag shuddered. "At least I still have Cowboy Bebop."

Maddawg walked throught the halls of nexus. Locust guards stood at attention and saluted the Locust general before returning to their jobs. Maddawg stood before a mass of locust to give a speech. "Today we live below the ground. We are forced to live under ground due to the guardians of the surface. But today is a grand day we have found out who the who the guradians are. We have prepared a power point for-." A boomer walked out onto the stage and wishpered into Maddawg's ear. "boomer boomer boom" "what do you mean you didnt finsh the powerpoint!" "boom boome" "You said you knew how to make a powerpoint. You know what just forget it. Instead of a power point we have prepared a slide show."

Slide #1- "This is the first guardian. He is known as Ram.. The ram.

Slide #2-This is the space cowboy. His actual name is unknown

Slide #3-This is the ninja monkey. He is belived to be a pirate.

Slide #4- Alan here is the final guardian we have pinpointed we know little to nothing about him.

The Bay king was watching the monitor, watching the feed coming from the Brotherhood of steel spy bot. There they were, adventures he knew he should know. A innate ran up to him. "Sir, we have pin pointed the location the nexus, we will attempt to make contact with the locust." The king nodded, "Send some soldiers here too, these people have become the target of our random spy bot, so they must die." The initate ran off thinking of how much better the BoS was before this man came into power. Oh well, do as he says was a motto now.

Maddawg had finished his speech when a locust sniper had come to see him. "Boom headshot"said the sniper. "I see allow the men of the last bay king in.

Maddawg had walked to the main gate to greet the men of the Last Bay King. "Come surface dwellers. Let us talk by the bottomless hole." the two men walk to the hole in the center of Nexus "Now tell me what are you here for." "The last bay king wishes to have sign a treaty. together we can destroy our enemys." said the diplomat. "HOW DARE YOU!" said Maddawg. "What?" said the diplomat. "You threaten my people with slavery and death!". "i never said anything about slavery or death." said the diplomat. Maddawg takes out his Dual chainsaw staff and holds it to the Diplomats throat. "This is Maddness." "MADNESS. THIS IS NEXUS!" Maddawg then kicks the diplomats into the hole and all that could be heard was the last screaming sentence from the diplomat. "This joke has been overplayeeeeeeeedddddd."

"Well now that's over what do you say we get some ice cream."

"Sir, the locust are pushing our men down holes." Said an initiate running up. The bay king thought about it, "Well I don't think an orgy was what I had planned, and the locust women aren't known to be that good looking..." The initiate said, "No there killing our men by pushing them down holes." The bay king replied, "Now there not that ugly." The initiate shook his head, "They didn't sign the treaty and the leader said something about ice cream." "Yum sound erotic." "No sir they didn't sign the treaty, what do we do." "Send more diplomats to there doom." "Sir yes sir.

After 3 hours Maddawgs's throat was getting sore. One of the locust advisors (who was also a grinder) "GRIND" "your right if i keep kicking people down holes i wll get a sore throat. alright just shoot all bay king members at the door.

"Sir there killing all our men, can I suggest we pull out." The iniate, who was becoming more of a right hand man said. "Okay you did, pull out the mini nukes."

"Grind" "Your right Grinder advisors we do need to stop the mini nukes from being fired. How many Light mass bombs do we have?" "Grind" "I see and who was the one who decided that lightmass bombs were threatning us with slavery and death and then kicked the bombs downt he hole?" "Grind" "Wow i must have been really drunk. Well assemble the reavers we will meet under a parley and choose the spot for our battle.

"Sir, the locust leader has sent an invitation of palvar to you, do you accept?" "Yes, tell him to meet belive this to be the fairest battlefield." "I thought you wanted him to join you." "I did, things change really quickly." "But he would be a great ally." "Good point, only bring five mini nukes." "Sir we don't actually have any." "chain guns?" "No." "Alien blasters." "No." "What do we have." "A strong will." "Any pistols?" "Plenty." "Then we shall win!"

The Ram, completely oblivious to any Evil Lord battles being fought, went over to the strange monocoled man with the trunk.
"Hey-ya, bud. What you up to?" Ram asked the strange man. At the sound of his voice, Alan nearly jumped out of his skin, and slowly turned. He only stared at Ram's horns, shaking uncontrolably.
"Um, you okay, guy?" Ram asked, consern and confusion in his voice. "You look a little pale. What's you name?"
Alan only stared, fixated at Ram's horns.
"You know, it's rude to stare at someone's rack." Spike chimed in.
"Spike! That's Orgazmo's line!" Ram scolded.
"Sorry, but wouldn't that be the Opposite of what he'd say?" Ragnorak asked.
Ram simply sighed, missing his dear friend. "Well, he should be hear soon. What with a female screaming and trapped in a small space." To the shaking man he said "Hey buddy, don't be afraid. If you want to join us in our Mighty Quest of Something or Nother, please do."
Ram went over to the chest, and peered inside.

The Last bay king opened the door and Maddawg walked in calmly. "Hello Your higness i am here to choose a spot for our battle. Shall we talk near the bottomless hole." The last bay king just stared and said "What do you think im an idiot we will talk near the firing range.
"Well that will not be necassary i have already chosen the spot and it will be on the surface by this chest. I look forward to fighting you there."

As the Ram stared into chest a large force of locust emerged from there Emergence hole. The group was already surronded when a large army of Bayknights arrived with there pistols.

"LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE DAMNIT!!!!" screamed Ragnorak and readied Raitatsu, ready to fight to the death.

"Damn, to late to look into anything now!" Ram cried, throwing the chest shut. Ignoring the angry cries from within, he quickly lifted the chest with his horns onto his back.
"Quick, people, through the happy meadows!" Ram shouted to the group, mad-dashing away from the advancing armies.

"Get out of my WAY!!!" yelled Ragnorak as he scattered Bayknights and Locusts with Raitatsu (three-section-staff, in case you forgot) and followed Ram across the happy meadows.

In the distance a happy cow was grazing in the happy meadow when she heard something. Puzzled the happy cow walked closer to the noise to find a group of people/animals running for their lives from an angry army. Looking closer the happy cow notices a ram, with very large horns, carrying a large box. All the happy cow could thimk was how much fun they must be having, so very quietly happy cow walks slowly to the crowd to join them in their running.

The bayknights were stunned momentarily, but there leader emerged. "You can either help me kill those guys," motioning to the ninja monkey, "or we can fight. As for me and my army, were going after them." The knights led out a mighty agreeing and teh chase is on.

"G'day, oh happy Cow!" called Ram as he mad-dashed from the army. "Do hope you can join us!"
Ram was now laughing as he ran, the full adrelanine of adventure and danger pumping through his veins, pushing his blood through his mighty flanks.

"Sir!" Shouted assitant initate, "The ram, HE'S GOT ADRENALINE." "Your point..." "We will never catch him at this rate." "Well with all our tech we must have some kinda vechicle." "Your right." Said the assitant. Soon later the bayknights were hooked up to sleds, with the king shouting "Mush you fools, mush."

Ram quicky looked back to see how the chase was going.
"Soldiers in heavy armor pulling a sled in the middle of summer?...BRILLIANT!" Ram cried.
Then he simply shook his head, and slowed to a trot to convers with the other members of the group.

"OK this is stupid. I killed the HYDRA for the love of vectors. I'll hold them off."
<cue awesomeness sequence from former RP>"I call on the storm and the power within to smite this creature from the face of the planet! Raitatsu! Crash down!" yelled Ragnorak dramatically. Time seemed to slow and a giant seal appeared beneath the armies. "Apocalypse Strike!" cried Ragnorak in the style of Zack Fair from the PSP game FF: Crisis Core. A giant storm brewed and struck the armies from above with anti-lightning and threw trailers at them with wind as the seal flared and flashed. "Final Limit! Mjolnir's Wrath!" and a giant Hammer made of lightning slammed into the armies from each of the cardinal directions.
"Boo-yah, I still got it." Rag said as he looked at the charred remains of the armies. Unfortunately, he failed to see Maddawg and Lasbayking escaping.

Lastbayking was flying over his army, the hammer hitting his sleigh so hard that he was propelled through the sky like a watermelon. He landed roughly on the back of the ram. "I got you now." He said pulling a pistol out of his pocket. He sticks it to the Ram's head, only to get the soft click of an empty gun.

"Oh, now you've done it, boy." Ram growled, throwing the trunk and the LastbayKind down to the ground. As he was picking himself up, LBK got about 4 feet of horns rammed on his ass, sending him flying away. "Hmph, next time, try teaming up instead of going solo-villain on use." Ram yelled after him.
He then turned to the group, and looked them over. "Okay, looks like we got a good group here. Good job, Ragnorak, new you still had it in yah."
Ram then turned to the chest. "So, what exactly do we have here?" he said, going to the chest.

The slightly confused happy cow looked around at the crowd thinking to herself,"I hope its something to drink im parched from all the exercise." Instead happy cow just looked and shrugged her hooves

As the soldiers clad in heavy armor closed in, their doom was certain. The fate of the adventurers seems to have been decided before the adventure began.

Actually, it was the exact opposite. The sleds were getting nowhere, fast and everyone was beating the crap out of them.

"LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!" One of the soldiers yelled.

The adventurers did. A streak of fire had appeared. "While that's nice and all," The ram said. "I'm sure it will have absolutely no bearing on the plot."

"Actually, it looks like it's headed straight for us." Rangorak said.

"Oh. So...should we walk fa-"

Alan was cut off as the meteor slammed into the ground, belching fire and sprayng dirt all across the reigion.

"Wait..." Rangorak said. "I think I know who that is..."

Rising from the wreckage of a cadere of armored knights, The Logician said, "Chuck Norris, eat your heart out."

Ram cleared his throat in the embarrasing silence.
"Uhh, Logician, glad your back and all, do know Ragnorak already burned up all the all the soldiers with a pervious Awsome attack, right?"

Somewhere farther down the road, the bay king slammed into a mountain, leaving a huge crater. He looked up one last time to see that he was dieing and accept it.

Two minutes later...
The bay king wakes up in his underground base, with a what expression under his helmet. Assistant walked in. "Sir, seems like you have suffered numerous lacerations and broken bones, not to mention complete paralysis in your right ring finger. Luckily though it wasn't bad enough to have pokemon come and kill you."
"Good." Said the king. "Now where is my army so I can tell them I'm okay."
"There dead sir."
"There always dead, what about the locust hordes."
"Then we must grovel to the adventures to let us join them."
"Not going to happen."
"Then what."
"I discovered the mini-nuke stockpile sir."
The bayking smiled. "Good we'll use the nukes to bribe the locusts onto our side. In the mean time find some new knights."
"Not what I had in mind, but as you wish sire."

Ram cleared his throat in the embarrasing silence.
"Uhh, Logician, glad your back and all, do know Ragnorak already burned up all the all the soldiers with a pervious Awsome attack, right?"

OCC: That's what I get for taking ten minutes to write a post...

"Yeah, well...I was aiming for them..." Logician replied sheepishly.

"YOU ALMOST KILLED US YOU STUPID JERK!" someone in the back screamed.

"I'm sorry..."

"So..." The Ram said. "...what do we do now?"

"...Kill wolves? I dunno, you're the OP."

"I propose we go kill the creators of horrible anime." said Ragnorak.

"Sir the spybots report that the monkey wants to kill you."
"Damn, knew I shouldn't have made that monkey anime all those years ago."

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