Maddawg just grined and said "I wouldnt do that if i were you.Look around there Theron guards everywhere the second they see a gun the'll plant so many bolts into you that we wont be able to find all the pieces.Why are you here to kill me. I do not pose a threat to you."
As Maddawg finished his speech a locust scout rushed through the door quickly yelling "Sir the Lyons pride our invading. They are coming by there airship." Maddawg yelled "Put the Bayking in holding and place the capitel in defense mode 5." "FOR THE HORDE!"
From the airship the Pride watched as the Locust Capital sunk below the ground making their large airship useless.
"Sir there sinking, what should we do."
"I don't know how about we fire you through the missle silo, what do you think we blast a hole in the eath. This will be a long siege men, but we will siege and we will stand on the other side victourious." Men came up and shot the pride member through the silo, not doing too much damage but the resulting bombardment might actually break throught these walls.
As men moved in to take bayking underground he shouted some tear streaked words, "I..I am a desperate man. My men are dead, my body is dead I have nothing left to live for, I have nothing but the stones under my feet. I...I am nothing and I am becoming nothing. He broke out of the locust arms firing madly. While a Theron guard sighted Lastbayking, a large missle hit the ouside leaving a crater. Droping down from the hole was a long root, and the bayking relized he might as well live. He climbed the vine and attempted to leave, but got hit by the bombardment, getting thrown backwards and flying through the air. He landed somewhere in England on the river Thames.
"Lastbayking is escaping! Should I stop him?"
"Yes! Don't let that scum escape!" demanded Maddawg. Master Kitty sprinted toward the cliff side where lastbayking fell. Just before he jumped, Maddawg yelled, "Wait!"
"You don't want me to follow?" questioned Master Kitty.
"Yes, you shall follow, but you will use your catlike abilities and remain unseen. I want you to see what that filth is up to. Now go, before he gets too far!"
Master Kitty climbed his way, quickly, but silently, down the cliff side in pursuit of lastbayking.
"GODDAMNIT GET THE ROCKWORM SHEILDS UP!"
A thick plateing made of Rockworm hides were soon brought up. A Rockworm is a menencing beast it can only be killed from the inside and its hide is as hard as diamond.
"The shields wont hold forever. We need to revive the great one" All the locust in ear shot of Maddawg Gasped. "But master the great sould never be awakend it will mean the end of life." "I am aware of the prophecy but know we have a weapon that will control it." Maddawg took a small party into the deep mines of Nexus and there he found the Riftworm A rock worm capable of devouring cities. Maddawg held up the golden lancer and repeated the latin words and the Riftworm came to life. Maddawg ordered the Riftworm to destroy the airship and the Worm obeyed. It blasted through the earth and lunged at the Airship.
"We're f***ed we ARE f***ed." Said the last remaining member of the Pride. So Lion tossed him over board, and backed the airship up. The great magnificent riftworm flew harmlessly by, passing over the atmosphere and getting locked in the moon's orbit.
"Okay attack squad, down thw whole the made by the Riftworm. Kill the locust."
"For the pride."
"Just get down the hole."
As Master Kitty located lastbayking, he was just about to drown in the River Thames. Knowing that Maddawg would want him alive, he dove into the water and dragged bayking to shore. Before he could regain consciousness, Master Kitty was back in the shadows.
"Cough, cough!" awoke lastbayking. Wondering how he survived the fall, he climbed to his feet and checked his surroundings. There was a nearby town that lastbayking saw and started heading toward. He heard ruffling in the bushes, but took no notice.
*Facepalm* "Okay thats it you want a fight then prepare to die." With the entire crew either dead or climbing down the hole Maddawg came up with a great plan.
"Boomers and grinders you keep the infantry at bay. Tickers load up into the reavers." The Locust followed Maddawg's plans and as the infantry rushed in they were quickly destroyed. While this was going on the reavers launched and flew into attack distance of the airship.
"Shoot down the reavers" shouted Lyons but soon found that no one was on the ship but him. The reavers dropped the tickers who quickly blew up on contact. Now the engine were failing and the Elder Lyon had to think fast.
Lyons activated his emergency escape plan, jetpack back to the citadel. Then the airship drove itself through the hole into the nexus, exploding on impact filling the nexus in a ball of fire.
The bayking took no notice to rustling in the leaves and headed towards the town. Then he heard the rustling in the bushes again and took heed. He janked a cat in a master chieft helmet out of the bushes. He looked at it once and then left towards the town again.
Our heroes had been unable to find any evidence of the rest of the Triforce. "This is ridiculous! How many psychics have we asked? Fourteen? And all they say is "seek and ye shall find." We've been seeking! We have not found!" screamed the Logician in frustration as they left the home of the psychic.
"Calm down, dude! It's not that big a deal. We'll probably find them in a humorous fashion very shortly. Just relax and let it be, let it be, let it be,oh let it be. Speaking words of wisdom let it be..." and Ragnorak's calming speech devolved into a haze of smoke and wonderful Beatles' melodies.
"Oookaaaay then...I don't know where you got that weed, but at least share it out, dude." said Ram. "More importantly, I believe I just saw the Riftworm enter orbit. We should probably check that out."
"Whatever, dude. Just, like, let me check out this scythe that seems to have been dropped. It's pretty awesome." Ragnorak headed over to the scythe and found, not just the scythe, but also Corporate Man, a former villan turned into, if not a good character, at least an apathetic one. "Hmmm...That staff looks pretty powerful. I abide by the law of Equivalent Exchange. If you give me that staff, I will give you this scythe, named Daitatsu and this glove, named Mjolnir, though it is not that legendary hammer. Care for the deal?"
Ragnorak, made wary by his former dealings with CM, entered into the contract, but he read it carefully first and dealt with all the little loopholes that CM tried to slip through. He then took the scythe and glove and gave Raitatsu to CM. "I believe a fair deal was struck. Have fun! Or don't, I really don't care."
The companions continued their journey towards what, they didn't know.
"Good thing I opened my helmet and gave that fool the old kitty cat eyes." thought Master Kitty knowing that lastbayking did not know his full potential. "I must stay more so in the shadows as to not seem suspicious." Master Kitty waited for lastbayking to enter the gated town before he did then proceeded to take to the rooftops.
The adventurers arrived at the crater that used to be the Nexus, dead bodies of both men and Locusts littering the ground. "Well, guess that takes care of that quest." Ram said, when they suddenly heard the shout of "LEVEL UP!!!"
The group turned and saw a plain man, standing a ways back from them, quickly catching up to them. "Sorry I'm late, but you wouldn't believe the traffic during War hour. What I miss?" he cheerfully said. When he spotted Ragnorak's new scythe, he started shouting "NEW ITEM! DU-DUH-DUH-DAHH! WEAPON, MAGICAL SCY..." but was cut off by Lazor Cat's lazor incinerating him.
"Ok, so...now what?" Ram asked the group in general.
"CURSE YOU, HEROES!" came a shout from above. The group looked up and saw a old man with a jetpack above them. "CURES YOU! YOU BLASTED HEROES HAVE RUINED MY PLANS YET AGAIN!"
"Ok, first mate, we just showed up here, so this is you fault." Lazor Cat said, indicating the surrounding carnage. "And second, we never met you before."
Ram quickly pushed Lazor Cat, dodging the bullet from the old man's pistol.
"I'M CHARGING MAH LAZORS!!!" Lazor Cat screamed, but was stopped by Ram. "Stop, you fool! He's obviously a boss for a big quest!" Ram scoldingly said. The old man shouted some more threats and such, of getting revenge and the group never being able to find him, and then he flew off into the sunset, and got a sever sunburn from it.
"Well, great. Now how are we supposed to find him?" Lazor Cat accusinly said to Ram.
"Just wait a second." Ragnorak said, humming a tune while rocking on his palms.
"Wait for wha.." Lazor Cat started, but was interrupted by a small boy popping out of a dirt pile.
"Oh, kind sirs! Please, I beg of thee, helpeth me with a quest, for it is of dire emergencyeth. If you helpeth me-th, I caneth show youeth to the Lion's Pride hideout..eth."
Ragnorak gave a sigh of content. "Ahh, NPCs. You got to love them."
As the group followed the young boy while he lead them to their task, Lazor Cat suddenly stopped, sniffing the air. "Wait, it can't be..." he mumbled to himself. "Not...Master Kitty?" He quickly shook of his thoughts, and rushed after the group.
"We've been following this dam kid for hours, what is it he wants for crying out loud?" The Space Cowboy mumbled, dragging his feet along.
"Here it is!" The boy shouted running up to a huge tree that dwarfed the group.
"Finally!" Spike sighed. "Well its a tree? What do you want us to do with it?"
"Up there! I want you to get it down and then I'll show you where the Lion's Pride hideout is!"
Spike looked up into the huge limbs and saw something up in the furthest branches. He wasn't sure whether it was a figure or an item...
"Well who's climbing up there?" Spike asked the group.
Master Kitty was following lastbayking silently on the rooftops when he got a whiff of an old "friend". He decided to pursue this "friend" and place a tracking device in lastbaykings ear. Master Kitty then sprinted out of the town following the scent. He ran for hours strait, stopping only for food and litter breaks. He finally found the group of heroes, he stayed in the trees and searched the group until he found Laser Cat. "Hhhmmmm... this looks like the acclaimed group of wonderful heroes." whispered Master Kitty. "But why is Laser Cat with them? Perhaps they don't know the real Laser Cat?"
Just then, the heroes began to walk toward the tree Master Kitty was hiding in. Master Kitty wanted to hear what they were talking about so he amplified his helmets hearing sensitivity. He heard talk of something in the tree and looked up. He saw some sort of box, and decided to see what it was when someone shouted. "Theres someone in the tree!" cried the little boy. "He is going to steal the secret!" Laser Cat quickly fired his laser, but Master Kitty dodged it. "The only person that can dodge my lasers is my old nemesis Master Kitty!" shouted Laser Cat "I thought I could smell your filthy, flea ridden fur!" "Get down here and fight like a man! I mean, cat!" So Master Kitty jumped down, but he did not attack. "No need to get violent old friend." sneered Master Cat.
lazor cat replyed menacingly "you know well that its always time to get violent between you and me! you remember what you did! now leave us be before i make you!!" and started to charge some lazors.
"Now, now. Lets not get in a tither eh Charles?"
"Charles? Who's Charles?" questioned the group.
"Oh, did Laser Cat here not tell you of his history? Well, let me give you a little lesson. You see, Little Charles, like me, was just a regular house cat. Our owner loved us and we were happy, one day, Charles didn't get his lunch on time and he was so angry that he focused all of his anger on our poor old owner, lets just say, she was quickly vapourized. He ran away, and I got the blame, turning me into a "bad guy"! Not so great of a kitty is he, you never know when you might anger him and he lasers YOU!"
"El gasp! Someone in this group has secrets? Big freaking deal! At least he didn't cause the death of someone who trained him and taught him everything he knew! Someone who took him in when no one else would! 'Cause that's what happened to me! Think you can make some dramatic expose or something? You're at least 100,000 years, no, a million years too early!" said Ragnorak. "Just run along now and mewl to your evil master about my secret. I don't care anymore! THE LOCUST HORDE CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES!!!" The air around Ragnorak seemed to be charged with a power that no one else could define. His fangs, already impressive, seemed to grow and his fur stood on end as though he was trapped in a static storm. "Get gone, puss, before I do something I may regret later!" The cat took one look and fell over itself in shock. Then it picked itself up, cleaned itself a little with it's tongue and attempted to saunter away as though to say "That's not at all impressive." Unfortunately, walking with your nose in the air is a good way to walk into something. Like a river. Which he did.
Holy shit, boss! That's an impressive amount of Qi!
"Yeah, I've always had a lot, even for a monkey." said Ragnorak as the air settled down. The rest of the party was huddled in a corner, manga fashion.
"That's frightening. I suspect that there is some other thing that you have to do, beyond this Triforce quest." said Logician. "Don't worry, though. Whatever it is, when it manifests, we've got your back. Right, guys! Right? Guys?" Um...Ron...I'd shut up now, Ron...
After the commotion of the Logician being pummeled for volunteering the entire party for "whatever," they continued on their way.
"thanks rag, but i could of handled myself. me and him never got alone. and even though im younger, i always kicked the shit out of him when he got a little to big for his britches."
"Stupid ape thinks he can scare Master Kitty by using his out of nowhere super powers?!?! Ha! I'll show him! I shall use my helmet to control this river which I purposely fell into and wash them all away!! HAHAHAHAAHAHA *caugh, hack!*
And with the power of the Spartan Armour, he washed the ram, monkey and all the other heroes away!
"woah woah weee!! but FFFFFFFFWWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" and he shoot a huge hole into the river making a parting moses style
The laser hit Master Kitty, catching him off guard. Master Kitty was send flying, cursing Laser Cat, and that smug monkey. Miles away, Master Kitty landed with a thud back on top of Nexus. He was stunned, and he was pissed.
"Umm sirs can you please helpeth me now. I still need you to complete my questeth" said the NPC. Just then a huge worm fell from the sky and landed on the boy creating a large hole where it landed. The group just stood there with there mouths wide from shock.
Meanwhile back at what was once Nexus.
Maddawg had finally dug him self out of the crater. He looked around and began to curse. "My city, my prize posseion destroyed. Lyons will not get away with this." Maddawg raised the golden lancer and the Riftworm rose from the ground."Nice to see you again. Tell me how was the moon." The Riftworm spat out the young boy at Maddawg's feet. Maddawg took out his gorgon pistol and pointed at the boy forehead. "Tell me where is the Pride Hq." "I cant tell you until you completeth my quest...eth." "Very well what do you need me to do."
The boy lead Maddawg and the Riftworm back to the tree.
Master Kitty figured that on his quest for vengeance, he might as well aid Maddawg in his quest so he tagged along.
"Ok, that was fun." Ram said, indicating both dramatic plot-twists from the animal part of the group. "But we still don't know where the heck this Lion Pride is. Anyone got any ideas?"
"Hey, let's ask another psychic!" Logician suggested. Christ Ron, really?
After some more pummeling, the group came to a decision.
The group decided to flip a coin, and through it made the decision of asking the Coporate Man to tell them where the Lion's Pride is. (this idea made by the producers of Orgazmo)
"Okay is this the stupid tree". "Yes sir ,I need your help getting something down". "Alright stand back." Maddawg began cutting through the tree with his chainsaw and as it fell a large animal fell from the tree. "HOW DID YOU GET A HORSE STUCK IN TREE?" "Its a long story sir but a thank you for the and will lead you to the citadel." With that the boy gets onto the horse and leads our villans to the citadel.
"What will we do when we reach the citadel sir? We have no army. Will we storm in, sneak in or blow the place to pieces?"
"A little bit from every colum my friend."
a few hours past before the villans reached D.C. The citadel resembled the pentagon and even had people in suits walking in. "I can go no further then this sir". "You have done your job young man" The boy ran off on his horse. "May I sir" said Master Kitty. "Go ahead" Master kitty took out his pistol and fired. The boy fell from his horse dead.
Maddawg lowered the Lancer and the riftworm dug under ground.
The mighty riftworm shook the ground, Maddawg and Master Kitty were thrown off their feet. The golden lancer flew out of Maddawgs hand and landed on the ground. The riftworm shot like bullet, its mighty tail flicking the entire citadel like a bug, sending it soaring through the air. Master Kitty jumped up quick enough only to see the citadel flying into the distance.
"Sir there going to undermine the Citadel."
"I don't really see the problem."
"They've undermined the citadel."
"I really don't see the problem."
"Sir it's carnage down there, paladins and initiatives are getting killed together."
Lyon sighed audibly. "Must I do everything myself." Said the sunburned villain. He went to a locked case he kept the triforci. "Bring me the power absorber." So they did and he absorbed the power of all three triforci. First nothing happened, then he began to grow becoming larger than life. His muscles bulged and he looked almost like a mix of Sean Connery and Chuck Norris. The pride member standing closest was instantly destroyed. Lyon smiled, he then jumped from the window of his private building and grabbed the riftworm mid flight and ripped it's head off. He then kept flying into a crowd of Locust destroying them all. He then ran to Maddawg him self, grabbing him by the neck.
"Now Maddawg CHOOSE! JOIN ME AND SERVE THE PRIDE OR DIE LIKE YOUR AVATAR OF WAR!"
Then Master Kitty awoke inside the citadel dungeon. Realizing that the citadel flying away must have been a dream, he jumped to his feet and began yelling at the top of his lungs. "Come and fight me like a man Lyons!" Realizing that yelling was no help, he sat down on his cot and began to try to get in contact with Catana. "Master Kitty! Are you alright?" questioned Catana. "Yes, I am fine thank you, I need you to instruct one of the great Cat ships to crash through this measly Citadel so I can make my escape!" ordered Master Kitty. "Yes sir" responded Catana, "Ship inbound."
Two hours of insurance sales and one Lazor-crisped man later, the adventuring group had started to lose hope. "Oh, what are we to do? We have searched all we can to find this Lion's pride, but to no avail. Tis the end of our grand group, tis the end of the world. TIS THE END!" wailed the Logician, throwing himself to the ground in grieve.
Lazor Cat looked up from the sobbing man into the distance. "Not to rain on your grieve parade, mate, but you think THAT might be where we need to go?" The group looked up and saw a giant building naked sunburned old man ripping the head off of a giant worm (innuendo).
"Umm, that looks about right..." the Logician mumbled, embarrassingly dusting himself off.
Drama queen. Next time, look before you wail your grieve to the heavens.
"Alright, let's head that-away then. Logician, care to do the honors?" Ram asked.
"Sure, why not?" and with that the Logician snapped his fingers and the group was teleported near the battle.
Just as the heroes arrive in front of Citadel a great Starship crashed straight into the Citadel, slicing it in half like butter. Master Kitty leaped out of the jail cell and started heading toward the main hall. Killing every locust in his path and many others. The entire Citadel was crashing down now, the starship had dropped a Pelican for Master Kitty and had already flown off into space. Master Kitty jumped in the Pelican, and flew outside the citadel just as it came crashing down, he opened the hatch and in jumped Maddawg. "Ah, thank you Master Kitty, I knew you would come through!"
But before our heroes got to start walking they heard a loud shout
Oh no, you're not! Ha ha ha haaa!
Next thing happening is The Logician recieving a bat to the back of his head. With Daye.01 standing behind him charging his next hit for the Logicians head once more
Meanwhile in a small gated village on the edge of the earth:
The bay king walked through the painted white gates and was instantly peppered with olive branches and flowers. Before he could be shocked, people came running out of small villas shouting, there goes our king, the king of the bay has returned. Then he remembered, this was the kingdom by the bay.
"But I thought you all died."
"No you just ran off to join the BoS."
"Oh, how are the bayknights?"
"Numerous and with high moral and no problem killing many."
"Good." Said LBK in a deep voice.
The half citadel:
Lyon's was quickly becoming the worst villian in history, begining stopped at every turn. "Curse those heroes." Said Lyon's flaiing Maddawg around like a rag doll.
"WE DIDIN'T DO ANYTHING!!!" Said the logician as he was being smited with a baseball bat.
"Arg curse you and your logic." Maddawg was then tossed right at the group, while the naked sunburned, almost suntanned and slightly Connery looking man, ran at the group in all his boss like glory
Ram heat-butted Daye.01 in the head, causing it to burst in a array of gore. He then turned to the giant naked sunburned/handsomly tanned old man. "BATTLE STATIONS!" he cried. He then charged Lyon head first, charging a heavy head-butting manuever.