Corporate man and Glen went head first towards the turbines, smashing each and other with a hit from their fists. Occationally, they would throw in a kick or two. Those kicks were allways powerful enough to throw a big number of turbines backwards. Every time they would be stepped on by rushing turbines from behind.
"48! 49! 50! 53!"
"Way ahead of you Corporate man. I'm at 63!" Glen said with a smile.
Then Corporate man stopped fighting, and brought his cellphone. "Dude. We're supposed to give this guys a lesson no time to chat with your boyfriend" Glen said while fighting off the turbines. Corporate man closed his cellphone and watching the horizen with joy
A bomber came flying from far east, dropping a huge bomb in the middle of the crowd. Gore and blood flying to all possible directions. As well as a couple of impossible directions. "That gotta count for something" Corporate Man said. "I'll admit it looked good. But unfortainly for you - the time you've been chatting on the phone I've reached way ahead of you. What you say, eh? Equal?" Corporate man got back into the fight with his fists and feet.
Glen all of sudden picked up one of the turbines, filling him with some kind of energy. As he threw the energy-filled turbine towards the crowd he looked at Corporate man with a smug smile. *boom!* a whole bunch of turbines blew into a million and one piece.
"Glen? Is it just me, or does this guys never stop coming? I mean I can't see the end of them"
"It's not just you. We'll probably have to fight them off. All of them."
As Master Kitty was flying away, a tree clipped him and he was caught off guard, he dropped the old man and went soaring through the air, Many minutes later, Master Kitty landed spot in the middle of a huge field filled with Turbinites.
"Oh god dammit!! I hate these guys" Master Kitty said as he gunned, punched and kicked the Turbinites.
Maser Kitty was suddenly thrown through the air from a large bomb, he jumped to his feet and continued on his way. A few seconds later he was thrown again from a large flash of energy. He landed behind Corporate Man and Glen.
"Who the hell are you guys?!" asked Master Kitty, still fighting his way through the turbinites.
"Well I am Corportate Man" responded CM.
"And I'm Glen Beck mother fucker!" yelled Glen as he swung at Master Kitty.
"Hey! I'm no Turbinite! How many of these fuckers are there?" asked Master Kitty
"As many as you can kill!" responded Glen
"I've killed about 450!" boasted Corperate Man.
"HAH!! Thats it???" replied Glen "I've got about 700! Are you even trying?"
So Master Kitty decided to call in a Kitty Tank and pwn these bitches.
ThreeWords was running to catch up with Master Kitty, when he saw him fall
"Hey guys! Master Keitty fell down into the clearing... oh."
The clearing was filled with turbites, and their numbers stretched away to the horizon! Threewords grinne, more than usual, though it might just have been him baring his teeth.
"The turbites" he said, his voice filled with rage and blood-lust, "Are the enemy of my entire race. They overran my planet, forcing us to become nomads in space and time, and now we must kill them wherever we find them!"
He was about to leap into combat, when he hesitated and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small device and pressed a few buttons.
Light flashed, and there stood a whole hoard of aliens that resembled ThreeWords
"May I introduce my family" said ThreeWords, and with an unearthly scream, the aliens tore into the ranks of turbites, claws, teeth, talons, spines and blades all tearing and rending.
"uhhh... ok then on with the killing of Master kitty." and lazor cat charged a lazor and aimed it right at Master kitty's manhood. because being dead with your man hood is better then being alive without.
While trying to fight off the Turbinites, Master Kitty saw a laser flash, he dodged it and continued fighting, Laser Cat tried to hit him again, but the Turbinites were in his way. Laser Cat tried again but was overrun with Turbinites.
"Why don't you worry about me later and help us out of here?" yelled Master Kitty
"Way ahead of you douchbag!" replied Laser Cat with Turbinites flying through the air.
The Turbinites were only getting bigger in number, suddenly, a blue flash on the hill and 5 aliens very similar to ThreeWords appeared, leaping into battle, destroying all Turbinites in their path.
Ron, why the hell are you beating the crap out of the fanboys?
"Fanboys?" The Logician said, holding one in the air by its throat. "To hell with the fanboys! This is the guy who audited me! Taste Rickroll motherfucker!"
"NO!" The tax auditor wailed. "Not the Rickroll Of Death!"
Actually, it's the experience of being Rickrolled to death, but I think that's the least of your problems. Speaking to the rest of the group, Jerry said, Yeah, guys, this might take awhile. Ron really hates this guy.
"INHERETENCE TAX MY ASS! BURN IN HELL! BURN!!!"
Glen,using the shear power of Republicanism/Conservatism,then punched a Turbite in the stomach,his hand coming out from the back.
Screamed the Turbite.
Glen,the pucned him again,with his other hand,pucnhed through the bowels of the person,and using his strength,ripped the person in half.
As Lazor Cat were fighting, he saw a group of 7 wasted people with an old man on one of their shoulder coming towards the hordes. "Why not" Laser Cat thought t himself "Every little bit helps".
When Daye.06 saw the Logician, he ran straight up to knock him out. Just when he was about to swing his bat, he was stopped by Daye.08. "Dude! Why botheh wi' him?" "There'sh enugh of other shtuff to have fun wi'" Daye.05 said. And with that the group sat down the old man, to be able ti kick some turbite ass.
Now the turbites had Corporate man, Glen Beck,a monkey with extreme powers, The Logician, a whole family of aliens, Lasor Cat, Master Kitty and 7 Dayes fighting them. Still there were no end of them to see "Where the hell do they all come from!?" Master Kitty shouted
And the last bay king went to the tallest mountain and cast himself from it.
And as the bay king fell, he thought back on all those he wronged, all those he had killed, and noticed that the list was none. This upset him even more, he pulled a pistol and attempted to shoot himself, he missed and the bullet killed daye.100100100100111010010101001001. This cheared him up a little, but he was still falling. He hit the water and remembered he could swim. This upset him so he attempted to drown but found that impossible, so he fought with a shark, but the shark was eaten by a zombie. Soon after LBK was eaten by the same shark. The end of the greatest person ever, LBK.
"Thats odd, I feel as though the world has gotten a little less evil." said Master Kitty as he fought his way through the hoards of Turbinites.
"Seriously, where are these guys coming from?"asked Laser Cat.
"Look, over that plateau!" yelled Threeword's brother Fourwords. "There seems to be some sort of gate! Maybe if we can get through, we can stop the Turbinites!"
So the heroes, villains, aliens and Dayes made their way toward the gate..
Ram was still on the hill, watching the momentous battle unfold below him. The Logician was severely burning a man in a dirty suit, Lazor Cat and Master Kitty were taking turns pounding Turbites and each other, Ragnorak was slicing hordes with his scythe, and CP and Glen were doing awesome due-moves to take out dozens upon dozens of enemies, and the Dayes were drunkenly hitting people (and each other) with bats.
Ram turned to Spike. "So, you want to join in?"
Spike bit into a sandwich that had mysteriously appeared in his hands.
"Nah, I like watching better. Uh, that monkey has some rage in him." he commented, while watching Ragnorak beat two Turbites heads in.
"Doesn't seem to be an end to them, huh?" Spike said, shooting a stray Turbite.
"Hmm.." Ram thought, and eyed the distance. He saw a strange thing at the end of the horizon of turbites, but couldn't make out what is was.
"Right, time for some head-butting time." he said, switching his horns to emit to wind mode.
He was about to charge in when he heard Spike yell "STOP!"
"What?" Ram impatiently said.
"You need a battle cry! You can't rush into battle without yelling about it first!"
"Oh, right," Ram said, embarrassed at his near blunder.
"Um, I don't know, how about....FOR PONY!!!!" he screamed, rushing into the crowd, Turbites being knocked left and right with his mighty gusts of wind.
"For the Pony!" came the hearty cheer from the group of heroes (and villains)
Racing for what seemed like hours, Ram finally reached the strange object he had seen from the distance. He now saw it to be a wide gate, larger then a house, where the Turbites streamed in. Near the side of it was a small, old man, who appeared to be looking at a hole in the gate, prodding it and examining it.
"Reality collaborator looks good, Infinite drive is doing spiffy...ah darn it, the Hell Gears has sprung again." mumbled the old man, who then began to fiercely pound something inside the gate.
"Uh, excuse me?" Ram politely said.
The man turned to look at him, soot and sweat covering his face.
"Oh, hey there, young sir..boy...animal." he said. "What can I do fer yah?"
"Well, nothing much, just kind of curious....why do you have a gate that is letting in a horde of blood-thirsty creatures?"
"Actually, they're blood-thirsty humans, and I'm using them to fix this countries low population and economy problems, all in one! More people means more spending going on, eh?" he chuckled, and turned back to fixing the gate.
Ram only shook his head in pity of the world, for having gave birth to such a mind.
He then turned his attention to the gate, and wondered how he could close it.
Umm...that all happened BEFORE you guys went to the portal, k?
The locust sniper quickly ran down to the prison hold just in time to see Maddawg rip off the arms of the cog. "Headshot!". "Okay they left the base why is this a bad thing?" "Headshot." "Ohh. Why didnt you tell me that we used the radioactive stuff to build lightmass bombs." "Headshot". "You did? Well then why didnt you tell me I wasent listening?" "Headshot." "You did? Ok then whats done is done who is the closest person with Radioactive waste?" "Headshot.""Very well then assemble the army and attack the Turbites!"
As our heroes, villains, aliens and Dayes were fighting their way through the turbites, Ragnarok saw a missile far away. "Guys! There's a missile heading our way!" he shouted. The Dayes and Turbites started panicing. "Allright! I'm sick of this" Spike said "Ron? Could you please, for the love of god teleport us to that portal?" "Fine, whatever" The Logician said
And with a bright flash, the heroes, villains, Dayes, aliens and some Turbites were transported next to the portal were Ram told them about the twisted little old man.
"Oh, and why did deuce did you bring the Dayes and villains, Logician?" Ram asked. "I was in a hurry, wasn't I?" The Logician said. "I don't have time to make sure I teleport the ones I want to when I'm in a hurry. I just teleport the closest people" "Wait!" Daye.10 said. "Daye.06 is still back with the Turbites! We have to save him!"
Everyone just looked at Daye.10 with a smile before bursting out in laughter. The same applied to the rest of the Dayes, since they didn't wanted to be mocked. And with that the heroes, villains, aliens and Dayes entered the portal accompanied with a huge nuclear blast behind them. "In the nick of time, eh?" Master Kitty said. "Yeah. Who would want to nuc.." Laser Cat was interrupted by what he saw on the other side
They were telported to turbine headquarters,in Westwood,Michigan,in an elevator going to the top floor,which before they warped in,was empty.
"Hmmmmm.Time for a "hostile" takeover, isnt it people?"Said Coproate Man,puuling out bags of cash.
The door opended.
"Sweet idea,well buy or way out if this!"Screamed Spike.
"WHo said anything about buying?"
They stpped out.
Coprprate Man pointed the bags mencacingly at the receptionist.
"Alright you chain smoking bicth!This is a hostile takeover!No one make a move,and your company will peacufully trasnistion into "Secret....."
Before he could finsish,the receptionaist pulled out a double-barrle shotgun,and shot Coporate Man,point blank in the face,at the mere mentions of "hostile takeover".
To her surprise,their was no bullet wound,and Corpoarte Man was still standing.
"So,you and your company dont wannado this the easy way huh?Fine!Eat Change bicth!
With that,Coparte Man,through one of the bags at the receptionists face.It exploded,like a frag grendade,only the fragemnst were coins,which penatrated the receptionist,and killed her.
"uuuhhh...what's going on?" asked Master Kitty while looking at the exploded body of the receptionist.
"WERE TAKING OVER THIS COMPANY!!!" roared Glen Beck as he ran into the main office, puching and kicking everyone in his path.
Master Kitty was stopped from saying anything more when the 6 Dayes rushed past him to run in with Glen and beat the hell out of anyone in there
"Say. Why are we cooperating with the Dayes and the villains again?" Laser Cat asked
"I guess it's to take down the Turbites. At this time it seems like they are outnumbering us. And I think that's a problem" Ram responded
"The odd thing, though" Corporate man started " Is that the portal all the turbites were streaming out from lead to a elevator. Wich was empty. How can that many turbites come from a elevator? This doesn't make sense at all."
As the group fought there way throught the Turbites HQ ,Maddawg had assembeled the reavers and attacked.
Maddawg traded in his signature Hydra Reaver for a more powerful Grizzly Brumak. While the Reavers fired bombs into the upper buildings, Maddawg led the Brumaks into the lobby.
"It is a good day to die! Now run along my followers. It is not a good day for me to die!"
"Hey! Maddawg!! Don't kill me dude! I already betrayed the good guys!" yelled Master Kitty as he jumped on to the Brumak, "I guess you really built your army up eh?"
"Yes, I need to be rid of these heroes once and for all!" replied Maddawg as he smashed through the Turbine headquarters.
The two evil dooers busted into the large room where the heroes were fight their way through.
"Holy shit!' cried Ram as Brumaks and Reavers tore through the bulidng, "The building is going down!!!!!!"
"RUN BACK TO THE PORTAL!" screamed Ram, ramming his way through the building's rooms back to the elevator. "Also, please excuse my language."
The group, hero and villain alike, dashed to back to the elevator and jumped through. With a large sucking sound, the gate closed behind them, not only a large arch revealing the pleasant country side.
"Ah, darn it." cursed the old man of the gate. "I'm sure that would of fixed my revenue problems. Oh well, at least their is next year." he finished, cackling as he walked away.
"Well, that was an exciting adventure of epic proportions. Let's never do that again." Ram stated. He turned to the villains. "Now that the grand war against the Turbites is done with, we can now continue on our own quest of defeating each other."
Glen let out a howling laugh. "Finished the War with the Trubites? Never! The war shall never be over! Not until every, stinking, Turbite is de..." but Glen was interrupted when Ram, horns blazing with fire, head-butted him square between the eyes.
"WE.ARE.DONE.WITH.THE.WAR.AND.THE.WHOLE.DAMN.TURBITE.THING!" he screamed, pounding his burning horns into Glen's forehead with each word.
Leaving the twitching, bleeding Glen on the ground, Ram turned to the rest of the group, horns dripping blood and eye slightly twitching, giving the whole group a wide smile.
"Anyone have a problem with that?" he asked between clenched teeth.
After Ram were done bashing the message into Glen, Daye.06 came up to the group. 06 was completely covered in blood and gore, same as his bat. "Phew. That sure was exhausting. I think I'll relax for a while if you don't mind" The group looked over the plains covered with bodies. "Seems like earth has went back to its original population, then." Laser Cat said.
Then the old man from the original power-recieving-quest came up to the group asking if anyone needed any powers. "Nah, I think we're good. Thanks, though" Ram answered. And with that the two old men wandered off.
"Wait. Where did Maddawg and Master Kitty go?" Laser Cat asked, as he realized non of them were anywhere close. "I have no idea. I bet they're up to no good!" Ragnarok replied. Both Corporate man and Glen had also dissapeared under the confusion. "Even the Dayes are missing. I never knew I'd be wondering where they are" Spike said. "Probably on the other side of the portal" Ragnarok pondered. "Seems like we're once again out of quests, then. And no nearby foe to defeat" Ram uttered *ahem*. Laser Cat cleared his throat while pointing at the resting Daye.06 "Screw him. He's done his fair share of good deeds"
"Well. The way I see it, our quests are narrowed down to the following: 1. We could go after Maddawg and Master Kitty. 2. We could try and find out who the hell Daye are, and why they're messing with us. 3. We could search for Orgazmo. 4. We could fight Corporate man and Glen. Or we could simply wander aimlessly and see if we find another quest" Spike summed up
"I say we go after maddawg. He's been the source of all our problems."
"Can't you just, I dunno, logic him out of existence, or something?" Rangorak asked.
"Sure." The Logician said. "But what would be the fun in that?"
"So... Maddawg, what do we do next?" asked Master Kitty riding on top of the mighty Brumak.
The Brumak came to a great stop, tearing up the ground beneath it.
"What we are doing, is nothing." calmly replied Maddawg, "I am going back to Nexus, to rebuild the army, and prepare for the highly likely event of the heroes attacking me. You, are getting off my fucking Brumak, and doing whatever the hell you want!"
With that, Master Kitty was thrown off the Brumak and landed with a thud.
"Why are you do-" Master Kitty was cut off by the dust and dirt in his face from the Brumak running off. "Well this sucks, now I am about as serious of a villain as those little Daye ...Hhhhmmmmm"
ThreeWords nodded in agreement to the Logician's words.
"Too true, my friend. So, lets find him and finish this the fun way, eh?"
"Catana, can you please do a background check on these Daye fellows?"
"Yes... searching, please wait... Nothing is known about the origins of the Dayes, where they come from or what species they are. However, a small military operation was started when the location of the Dayes was revealed, none of the soldiers came back, and by the time there was another operation, the Dayes had moved on" replied Catana.
"Jeez, I guess these little buggers are hard to find." "I am goi-" THUD.
Master Kitty landed on the ground, was quickly thrown in a bag by Day.07 and .08 and dragged off.
He awoke in a large room surrounded by Dayes.
"Why are you trying to find out about us?" asked a slightly larger Daye with a .01 on his T-Shirt.
When Master Kitty woke up, he quickly realised that he was more gone than he thought. Considering that he was thinking it was 07 and 08 who knocked him out. Wich would be impossible, considering they're stuck on the other side of the portal.
When he woke up, he was spoken to by a large Daye with a sweater saying "01". "Why are you trying to find out about us?" the big Daye said. This was followed by a quick little chap coming up with a sweater saying "Master! You'r sweater is clean. And dry! And ready for you to use" "Thank god. This sweater was so damn tight." the Master replied. As he changed his sweater to the appropriate one, the text on it was revealed. "Daye.0A" it said.
"Your helmet sure doesn't provide much in the means of safety, mate. We've knocked you out twice!" a small Daye said with a big smug smile
Maddawg returned to Nexus with the spoils of victory. His army had managed to steal the radioactive waste. Upon his return Maddawg ordered the construction of lightmass bombs.
"Well, if you catch me off guard, in the back of the head. I was wondering if you would like to perhaps form an evil alliance? I think my gun skills, and your meele skills combined would be unstoppable! What do you say Daye.0A?"
Corparate Man and Glen went back into the portal,to buy out Turbine,which had come under attack by locusts,but,since evryone that worked in the office had guns incase of hostile takeover (which usuually get hostile enough to bring guns in) and incase of monster attacks,all the locusts,except maddawg,were dead.
Instead of simply smashing everyone to bits,Glen and CM simply walked through the crossfire,bullets pinging of them,into the CEO's room.
As they took seats,the CEO's seat turned back to them,Cm,said:"So,how much is it gonna take to buy this shitty game deveopement company?"
"We are not for sale."Said the CEO,stroking his kitten.
"Well,with the price I'll offer you,I'm sure you'll more then be willing to accept."
"Why sure" Daye.0A responded "But don't expect any help from me personally. You'll have to cooperate with my clones"
"Sounds fair" Master Kitty replied, forming a plan on how to get this all in action
"Oh. And if you get caught" Daye.0A continued "We will refuse any knowledge of you or anything that can be connected with you. You have been warned. Welcome on the team. Hope you'll last longer than the last one."
"Well don't worry, I'm not your average Master Chief helmet wearing cat! But I have just one question, what exactly is your beef with the heroes? And what do you want me to do? Sorry, two questions."
"Dude" Daye.0A begun. "When I told you you were on the team, I didn't mean that much. Our reasons are not for you to question." Daye.0A said proudly. "You mean you have no idea either?" Master Kitty asked. Slightly blushing Daye.0A responded with "Well. Yeah. I'm only following orders from my master". Daye.0A bent down towards Master Kitty and wispered in his ear "Master Dayevid. But that is as much as I let you in on.".
Master Kitty stood up, brushing off his shoulders while looking at Daye.0A. "As for what we want you to do. I was under the impression that you would like to borrow a few of our 1337-skilledsorz warriors. And that is all I'm going to let you. I will not let you in on our master plan" Daye.0A told Master Kitty "You mean you don't know wha..." he was interrupted by a bat to the stomach "Shut up!" he looked up to see Daye.13, 14, 15, 16 and 17 at his disposal. And then it all went black.
"Sorry about that. We just can't have anyone see where our headquarters are. Don't worry. It's just a minor bruise" Master Kitty sat up to see five Dayes eagerly awaiting his orders.
"Well then, what do you guys suggest we do?" Master Kitty asked the Dayes with blank looks on their faces.
"You do talk don't you?"
"Of course we talk dumb ass!"replied Daye.16
"Now Day.16, no need to be snotty! I suggest we sneak up on those pesky heroes, you snipe them from a hill, and we go in meleeing their asses!suggested Day.13
"Sounds good to me, let me contact Catana and I'll find out where they are."
So Master Kitty and the Dayes headed off to try and thwart the heroes, for no apparent reason, but nonetheless, they were determined.
Before anyone could answer ThreWords' question, his brether FourWords shouted out
"Guys!" he called, "Kitty's back, and he's got some Dayes with him!"