Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

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Ahh, 4 minutes of fantastic-as-ever reviewing goodness.

It seems the main character suffers from Kratos Syndrome, where just seem to be having that little bit more fun than a real person would have when butchering enemies.

Although if she flung swords on chains around and killed Nazis whilst wearing lingerie...

*Wanders off to the 'IDEAS LABORATORY' to develop a "new" game!*

lol another great video yahtzee
"get out of 'fuckup' free" card <-- i need one for monopoly, i alsways lose

No mention of the horrific corruption of the original source, who's family would not permit her name to be used, when it was going to be so blatantly sexualised?

"Violette Szabo, you see, was captured by the Germans after just over a year of active duty as a Special Operations Executive. During her incarceration, she was repeatedly beaten, starved and sexually abused. Ultimately, she was executed, aged just 23." -

Games like this are part of why people won't respect the game industry as an art form, I would have thought Yahtzee would mention that. (and be more offended)

Im going to agree with you here, I know games are meant to be about entertainment, but any game that references a real section of history with real individuals, it should be handled more tastefully.

Also, I still dont know if the game is GOOD or not. All I learned from that video is that I like Yahtzees voice and he has cool jokes.

The community service line was the only one that really got a giggle this time...

Overall Susan's Review was much better and almost funnier at times.

"For the Sixteen Hyperbolillionth Time!"

Hearing Yahtzee discuss this, it just sounds like a ton of other game cliches jammed together into one.

Still, very funny review.

I dream of a future Escapist...a better Escapist, where retards don't try and bag their comments in early when they clearly haven't even watched the video...

Someday...anyway this was hilarious as usual ^^ Death to South Peak

Interesting game, but I don't think I'll be picking it up.

What is this, community service?
I wish they would stop making WW2 games.

Seemed a little bit short. but good nonetheless. I'm surprised that I was online when video was upped, this is probably the first time :P

Also, I still dont know if the game is GOOD or not. All I learned from that video is that I like Yahtzees voice and he has cool jokes.

Well if you want to know, here is the review.

We just need an Italian made game and we are all set!

Another great review!

The decent but somewhat mid-quality review this week is bookended by very funny moments, the end being the aforementioned "community service," and the beginning having a moment of Yahtzee's now-classic "Oh no everybody can see my bum." In German.

I enjoyed it.

I think Yahtzee is over the hill.

Very good, may consider actually getting that game...

Pretty good as always. Not particularly memorable (appropriate for the game then, yes?) and the ending was a little abrupt, but still pretty good anyhow.

Good review, and yet another game that I don't need to waste my time with.

Meh, again nothin' special. Seen this, done that, good day sir. The only thin' this review made wanna do is get my copy of Hitman and MGS1 out and play it again, because atleast thoes games aren' as bad as Velvet Asssassin, and ya know what. There already was a WWII stealth game of wich no one knew or cared to try called "Death to Spies", maybe because it was a Russian project, or maybe the game didn' travel out many countries. Wich is a shame since it did a far better job than Velve Assassin, and was more stealth based and less gunplay.

That last line, total genius!

Sigh. None of the sites videos are working for me. Red X deal.
What format does it use (Java, Flash, etc) so I can look into this matter?

Edit: Nevermind, it tells me I need to update Flash. Damnit.

this game looks terrible...

great review though, probably one of the funniest i have seen in a long time. the last line was the one that had me on the floor in fits of laughter.

but seriously, the developers tried to come up with a reason why she was wearing so little half of the time, and i actually laughed when i read their excuses.

The part where the german government comes to your house made me laugh... the sad thing is that this is probably closer to the truth than Yahtzee even realized.

Very amusing video I thought, and whilst I'm surprised he didn't like Splinter Cell, I can understand the reason he gave.

Anywho, as for Velvet assasin, I figured it'd be poo-poo, heh.

In fact, the Nazis are mentioned in Germany all the time. It's really annoying, 15 bloody years in German history and you hear and read about it all the time. It seems like we Germans have a strong urge to talk about how bad the Nazis were all the time even though it's several generations away. Of course, they were bad, but everybody knows that anyway. (Well, almost everybody)

So, it's not a problem to make a game about Nazis. But if you depict them in a way that could perhaps be interpreted as downplaying, you have half the country at your throat. And you can't show Nazi symbols like the swastika. But apart from that... not a problem.

Violett Szabo is from Hungary - which is my home country, although I'm not a Special Operations Executive ...or am I??? :)

Oh well, the review was great, the last line was the very best and now I must leave before my bomb blows up under Gadolf Schmitler's house.. ^^

The "community service" comment got me like a .50 cal to the head of an insurgent.
And yeah, if they're going to try and base the main character of an actual WW2 spy, they could've at least tried to keep to the history. If not, why didn't they just make someone up?

Its pretty clear to me at this point that ZP is reviewing the unimportant and forgetable games to please his fanbase that bitches so much when he bashes a mainstream title in an effort to be able to safely burn to death a title no one gives a flying shit about without pissing off fans. What he seems to fail to realize is that it is his very controversial nature that makes him worth watching. I would be willing to bet his review of Super Smash Bros had more views than any other video...and I would also bet his video directly after that got more views as a result.

Splendid..quite.. funny too :)

Great Review!

That is so, so true, how it would have gone had it been an American production!

And community service indeed. Hee.

Actually, when he said the plot was similar to Hitman: Blood Money he meant Hitman: Contracts.

But I'll forgive that little faux pas.

lol community service!

People in germany talk very openly about the past and it's a very large topic in school, there is probably a better understanding of ww2 and the nazi regime in germany than in the uk and america.

Yeah, I know. I've been living in germany for 28 years now. As far as videogames are concerned though and especially the symbols, Yahtzee could not have been more correct.

I actually think Yahtzee went easy on the game.

As I mentioned before, I like the game. I also like Violette's hair. While I admit the nighty is a bit silly, it was a good way to show how the morphine sequences tie into the hospital bed.

What the hell, Yahtzee was nicer to this game than Susan?!

It's a little known fact that the Italians tried to make a few WW2 games, but all the studios sunk.

That was awesome. I loved the little community serivice thing at the end with the Axis powers.

Great Job as always

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