Zero Punctuation: The Game, The Movie, The Game

This is the official thread for "Zero Punctuation: The Game, The Movie, The Game".

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/games/stonking_great/game/15-Zero+Punctuation%3A+The+Game.+The+Movie.+The+Game.

Please tell us what you think of the game; use of the words "compelling" and "cinematic" are already assumed in your reviews.

The graphics are kinda wonky, and the controls are difficult to use.

needs AA

So what's the point of this game? Also my "attacks" don't seem to actually do anything. The environment didn't seem to fit in the frame either.

Ehhh....no. This game has your character sinking into the ground if you hold still. No health system or indication of how many hits you can take. No goal or point. Hell, I started off going left and just kept going. Enemies just keep coming. It's just run and shoot while trying to live. No sense of accomplishment.

Why was this game posted? Do you hate us that much?

Yeah, the lack of AA and the slowmo were a bit offputting, as was the music. However, I'm not sure what all the "you need 3 arms" comments were from the judges. Do they not make controllers with "ctrl" buttons on the right anymore, or am I missing something?

I can think of no better word with which to describe it than 'terrible.' Awe-inspiringly, trouser-moisteningly, eye-rollingly terrible. Luckily, I don't have any trousers on at the moment to moisten. But still, HUEG SUX LOLZ.

Edit: I'm kind of thinking this is some kind of huge joke, actually. It's just too bad to be real.

CrysisMcGee:
Ehhh....no. This game has your character sinking into the ground if you hold still. No health system or indication of how many hits you can take. No goal or point. Hell, I started off going left and just kept going. Enemies just keep coming. It's just run and shoot while trying to live. No sense of accomplishment.

Why was this game posted? Do you hate us that much?

Well, you only sink into the ground if there are imps biting you (just shoot them off and jump back to the surface.) Also, I tried going left, but after a minute or so of finding jack-shit, I went right. There's more stuff that way, like imp archers, sheild imps, and a big catapult that starts following you around. I think I made it to the end, or as close to an end as there is, when I started walking past an endless series of roads, and enemies stopped respawning.

So I guess I didn't think it was terrible, but it sure as hell wasn't good. The ability to jump is pretty much useless (PS: Judges, there are two control keys, one right next to the arrow keys, so stop bitching) as there's nothing to jump on. Add some platforming and this would be a much better game.

after turning off the sound and realizing that i could use the ctrl button next to the arrows, something at least two of the judges didn't, i played for a full 5 min whit no sense of accomplishment or any signs of an ending.

the combat is frustrating, all you have to do is hold down ctrl + forward and the mouse button whit no strategy or skills required, the sound was so terrible i had to turn it off after the first 2 seconds, and my ears still started bleeding, and it was quite poor visual.

for some reason i still played for 5 min, maybe because i have completed most of the other games and wanted to get them all.

Once again people pass up a great game just because it does not fit into their close minded world view. ZPTGTMTG is possibly the best action-Rpg I've ever played. It starts off amazingly by introducing you to a brand-new character, not just one of these Cloud-ripoffs that seem to star in everything these days. It then throws convention to the wind by shoving you into the game world without any back story at all, forcing you to become the character. This level of immersion is unprecedented.

Following up from an amazing start is excellent game play. The controls are brilliant in their simplicity. Jump, move, and shoot, with the first two performed by the left hand, and the latter controlled by the right. If you're part of the elitist crowd who insists that games "Can't be good without a third dimension!" then please leave now. We don't need your kind.

As the story progresses, not liking the main character is nearly impossible. Who can't identify with the timeless struggle to murder lots of imps? If you're willing to trek through the game's unprecedented three levels, then prepare yourself for a plot twist to end all plot twists. I won't ruin the ending, but prepare to shit your pants (and love it).

Unfortunately, this game will probably be cast aside by the masses who can't understand its greatness. The mainstream media only seems to care about the new Call of Newbs game (Modern Failfare 2 or something), and can't even open their eyes to the glory that is ZPTGTMTG. It is a sad day indeed when such creativity gets cast aside for the same crap we've seen over and over again.

Uh.... huh.

Defineately "unique"..

This was made by a gods-forsaken lefty, wasn't it?

lefties!

This games makes no sense.
I seem to have beaten it by running constantly and occasionally shooting.

Why is there a flying number 12 in sky?

The compelling story really pushes the limits of what a game like this can do, it is by far one of the most cinematic experiences I have had in a while.

 

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