Escape to the Movies: Ninja Assassin

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Ninja Assassin

This week MovieBob takes a look at Ninja Assassin...sort of.

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I bet you reviewed that just so you'd have time to put that Giving Tree bit in.


A random person:
...I don't think the word "review" is appropriate here.

What makes you say that?

While he did talk about the movie, he didn't have much to say about it and talked more about ninjas in general. He also went on a random but good tangent with The Giving Tree.

Of course, it was an off-the-cuff joke, though you gotta admit there was less content about the movie itself than with most of his reviws.

too many too long jokes. good review part

Nice vid.

Never heard of the Giving Tree story, but the tree really does act a little...well extreme.

Also reminds me of an awesome shirt from a shop in Berlin.

i wanted to hear about lowlie worm.....

Yeah, this video seems to be a bit pointless, since ninja assassin is pretty obviously just an over-budget version of an 80's ninja movie. We learned that from the trailer alone, and didn't need to be told-OMFG DOLLHOUSE REFERENCE! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH MOVIE BOB ROCKS!!!!!!!!

This is about the time people lose their jobs. I mean, I know The Escapist likes to have dedicated individuals they can rely on week after week to get their job done and done well, and not have to worry about them getting it done, and MovieBob just let them down big time. Considering how little is unique about MovieBob in the first place, maybe he should be a little more careful lest he get a sour note in his e-mail inbox.

I mean, Yahtzee skirted the line once or twice, but his rants were never that far off-topic and he talks fast enough to have a full rant and not break the flow of the review. ENN and Unskippable don't have this problem, especially Unskippable since they don't even need to do any filming.

The Great JT:
This may come off as a bit shallow (not the word I wanted, but close enough), but it's an action flick with ninjas in it. I'm sure there are ways to make it a smart movie, but again, it's just an action flick with ninjas. We go to see fights, explosions and ninjas. And in that regard, it doesn't disappoint. I'm sure it won't win any awards for story or anything, but will it fail to entertain us with ninjas trying to decapitate one another? No.

It's not always easy, but any film has a chance at being both smart and entertaining.

No MovieBob, I believe you. A movie with a title like Ninja Assassin doesn't exactly scream "massively deep story telling."

Something about liking ninjas, you'll like this movie

I totally agree, and I loved this movie. It was like, here is ninja movie with ninja movie plot type 1, and I went to see that movie to get ninja movie plot type 1, so yah, seriously, excellent review.

[Edit] I'm totally waiting for Pirate Assassin. And then Ninja Assassin vs Pirate Assassin. Cause that'd be badass.

The giving tree is not so much a story of how to be, but of how too often life is. It is not a moral story of "be like this", but one that says, "what do you think of that?". If you accept or reject the boy's selfish ways or accept or reject the tree's conditional happiness on self sacrifice. I never liked the boy as a child, but enjoyed the story.

Wait, this had something to do with Ninjas

Movie Bob should start a book of the month club. Branch out a little.

This may sound retarded but i didnt really get the avatar thing at the start. would it have been nuts because its isnt out yet?

PxDn Ninja:

lol, giving tree. Yeah, Ninja Assassin didn't look that interesting to me either. I love the 1 ninja vs an army of ninjas theory.


and didn't ninjas deal in stealth assassinations? that makes the title redundant.

Nope, Ninja actually specialized in tactical espionage. Stealth assassination was just a small part of what Ninja actually did.

That's like saying a person is a police officer law enforcement. or Firefighter emergency worker.

It's still redundant.

Or corrupt politician.

Nice Dollhouse reference :D

Ugh, what a horrible movie. It's as stupid as it gets. Why did you review this movie, bob? This movie has been out for weeks! Also, I could explain what the giving tree was all about, but I know it would be falling on deaf ears.

Also, could you start reviewing more interesting movies? The last couple reviews themselves have been bland. You could at least review a bad movie, instead of an uninteresting one. I want to be informed if a good movie is good or a bad movie is bad. I'm disappointed in you.

Im confused. You said the same thing about Boon Dock Saints II but you liked it. Well whatever You're now 0/2 for me at least. Same thing with the road. I didn't see Tim Robbins or Morgan Freeman any where in the trailer, but I did see a bunch of ninjas chasing a ninja and then that ninja fighting those ninjas and then a special ninja. So I got what I came for. A movie with a bunch of ninjas. Granted it's not "City Hall", but it's called NINJA ASSASSIN. I'm starting to see a disconnect between your reviews and the reality of the films you're going into.

Lunar Shadow:
As for the multiple ninja thing:

I was going to post that, but you have done it first, so I guess I've been...

(not gonna say it)

I like my ninjas any way, shape or form (see avatar)

Anyway -20 points for this 'review' Bob, It seems more or less like someone told you about the movie rather then you sit through it and watched it. What made it worth my hard earned bucks to go see it? Some...what? That it's like a B-movie? What made it horrible? That was sorta wrapped up in one or two sentences. You didn't expand on things like you normally do.

I like ninjas as a whole, but when I think of ninjas, I think of the super sneaky types who can get through all forms of security without a single trace that you were there. Then listening in on important conversations, taking notes on plans or in rare occasions, taking out a problematic individual then disposing of the body so that the ninja is long gone before people discover that the person killed is missing. Not the martial arts types.

I was always under the impression that The Giving Tree was actually a kind of bitter life parable in the style of old fairy tales. Shel Silverstein has admitted to not really wanting to write children's stuff anyway. If it seems a bit creepy and unpleasant it's because it is.

Also, I highly recommend reading Shel Silverstein's biography as it is quite an interesting read. I grew up with his poems and find his most well known work, like so many artists, is not what he cared the most about.

Whilst MovieBob's reviews are by and large very well done, I can't help but feeling that we on the Escapist should get together and buy him a new mic, he sounds as if he's talking in a cookie jar, and sure, we all love cookies, but the jars are not good for acoustics. Also, what's up with the pixelation (sudden drop of image quality) in several frames along the clips? It makes the entire thing feels kind of low-quality, and sometimes makes it hard to see what's on the screen.

Thought you could throw in a picture from ninja scroll and I wouldn't instantly know what it is there bob? :P

Yeah I really don't intend on paying full price to see this movie when I can wait for my brother to rent it and see it for free. If I'm gonna pay to see a movie it's gonna be ones with a damn good story, or just funny as all hell.

I think you're reading too much into The Giving Tree, Bob. Someone might have mentioned before me, but the Tree is female not to be a parallel to a girlfriend or wife bowing to the man, but to be a parallel to a mother putting up with a selfish child, yet always loving him.

Dude, the giving tree is a heartwrenching tale of the sacrifices of parenthood.

Also this.

Yay! Shallow movie gets shallow review! Nifty fight scenes, though. Got time for Fantastic Mr Fox in your busy life, Bob? Or not a Wes Anderson fan?

Distorted Stu:
Looks a cross between God Of War and Kill Bill. May be a watch.. hell it is a watch, ninjas rule.

Wouldn't it be more, I dunno, Ninja Gaiden and Kill Bill, not God of War?

Hey bob:
1.The plural form of Ninja is Ninja as well. Like the word Moose
2. That guy on 'The giving Tree's back cover IS scary.
3. What were you going to say about Loli Worm?

Actually, it can be both. The plural of Ninja being "Ninja" is a reflection of the japanese language's lack of grammatical number, but "Ninjas" is an acceptable form in English.

Thanks, Wikipedia!

ninja ass-ass-in.
sorry could not resist.

wow. just wow.

Bob, I really hate to say it, bro, but the comments on your vid were more bizzare and entertaining than your vid was, this week.

But I have faith in you! You will right the shit... er, shiP, I'm sure!

Good work. And thanks.

No MovieBob, I believe you. A movie with a title like Ninja Assassin doesn't exactly scream "massively deep story telling."

It screams "Exactly what it says on the tin."

"Giving Tree" I didn't much care for though its subtleties I was too young to grasp. I found it depressing. Though not half as depressing as "The Velvetine Rabbit." Why do they sell that shit to kids anyway?

Personally, I prefer pirates.

Check the literature section. Or just control+F for it. I guess when the movie to review isn't much, TVTropes provides decent talking points.

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