Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 21

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 21

Lulzy has to deal with an under-prepared herbalist.

Read Full Article

awhhh poor lulzy, keep on hiking girl

Anyone else wondering what the hell kind of deadly dog poison could be made involving honey and blackwort?

halfeclipse:
Anyone else wondering what the hell kind of deadly dog poison could be made involving honey and blackwort?

The sweet but deadly kind.

Heh, the scene with the herbalist was priceless. I was like "wait, he already has the ingredients?" then I was like "yeah! yeah! that's what I thought." Good stuff.

As ever Shamus, you have made my evening a little bit brighter. =)

"Well, I had hopes that things were looking up, but now we're back to murder and tears."

One of those days, huh?

Chetwood Count: 3
Stupid Human NPC Count: Infinity Symbol

Shamus, what're your thoughts on LOTRO going free-to-play?

Brainst0rm:

halfeclipse:
Anyone else wondering what the hell kind of deadly dog poison could be made involving honey and blackwort?

The sweet but deadly kind.

Heh, the scene with the herbalist was priceless. I was like "wait, he already has the ingredients?" then I was like "yeah! yeah! that's what I thought." Good stuff.

Blackwort helps get rid of mucus and honey helps with sore throats. Sounds more like something you'd feed em if they had a slight cold.... actually yea, accidentally helping them deal with cold symptoms would be par for the course now that I think about it.

One of the best yet. Very high joke hit rate. :) I remember that "bring your friends" mission, too. Managed to solo it... carefully...

This series is great. Funny as hell (though admittedly I haven't played the game).

The second item is berries. The berries are free, plentiful, close at hand, and guarded by killer bears.

I started to cry when I saw this.

According to Stephen Colbert, the top five threats to america are:

5 Terrorists
4 BEARS!!!
3 Democrats
2 Robots
1 MORE BEARS (no one ever suspects the second bear)

Sauron's Spoon made my day.
Got to love those alchemists who never ever have the ingredients to make the item you want.

I love the description "orcish murderhorse" to a somewhat unreasonable degree. Can I have one as a pet?

"This <THESE> bushes must be some sort of Dr. Seuss-styled thing where a great big bush will only produce a single berry."

My inner speller made me do it.

You know, maybe you should just kill her Shamus. Then loot her corpse for the money. Hey! Lets all just kill quest givers from now on!

Very nice. :) One of the funniest yet.

Supp:

The second item is berries. The berries are free, plentiful, close at hand, and guarded by killer bears.

I started to cry when I saw this.

According to Stephen Colbert, the top five threats to america are:

5 Terrorists
4 BEARS!!!
3 Democrats
2 Robots
1 MORE BEARS (no one ever suspects the second bear)

So if it's a democratic terrorist robot riding two bears as roller skates, we're fucked?

OT: This comic was quite funny. It's nice to see some reliably funny comics here.

I wonder if Turbine notices these logic failures. Why would you need to poison dogs if you can stab bears and wolves to death? How could honey and blackwort be mixed to make poison? Are the berries poisonous or something? If they are, why would you bother with the other ingredients?

My head hurts from overthinking these quests.

This must be my favorite one so far! I loved the discourse between Lulzy and the Herbalist and escpecially loved the Soap Cakes and Joint Tonic gag!

Keep up the good work Shamus.

Ignore

hopeneverdies:
I wonder if Turbine notices these logic failures. Why would you need to poison dogs if you can stab bears and wolves to death? How could honey and blackwort be mixed to make poison? Are the berries poisonous or something? If they are, why would you bother with the other ingredients?

My head hurts from overthinking these quests.

Unless the berries are poisonous and bitter. The honey and blackwort are there to make them taste better so that the worg-dog hybrids will scarf it down like beggin' strips.

hopeneverdies:
I wonder if Turbine notices these logic failures. Why would you need to poison dogs if you can stab bears and wolves to death? How could honey and blackwort be mixed to make poison? Are the berries poisonous or something? If they are, why would you bother with the other ingredients?

My head hurts from overthinking these quests.

Well, I believe the point of poisoning the dogs is because it's meant to be a sneaky way to get rid of them all in one shot.. if you forget about the whole hunting down and killing mother part. When you're just going into an area and trying to thin out a specific part of the wildlife, there's really no need for stealth or a plan beyond "kill them all." *shrug*

As for the poison itself, my guess would be the berries are poisonous but have a specific smell or taste that would keep the dogs from eating it (or something like that). The honey and blackwort could be used to disguise the smell or taste (or the appearance that the dogs had been poisoned in the first place.. like if they all started gagging and throwing up as soon as they ate it). That's just my guess though. I'm not skilled in making poisons.. or am I? :O

Just when you thought there was one sane human in middle-earth :P

Great comic as always Shamus!

You're in top form, Shamus. Epic Lulz(y).

So the bandits' cunning plan is to take vicious man-eating wargs and breed them with dogs to make them... what, exactly? Smaller? More cuddly? Better at playing fetch? If you're looking for killer beasts to invade with, and you've already got wargs, uhm... breed wargs?

Maybe they should breed them with cows instead. Then they could eat the hay.

Dev Null:
So the bandits' cunning plan is to take vicious man-eating wargs and breed them with dogs to make them... what, exactly? Smaller? More cuddly? Better at playing fetch? If you're looking for killer beasts to invade with, and you've already got wargs, uhm... breed wargs?

Maybe they should breed them with cows instead. Then they could eat the hay.

It's actually the other way around. They're breeding wargs with dogs to make more vicious bloodthirsty dogs (or sort of a smaller slightly more easily controlled warg). At that point in the gameworld you really haven't even met real wargs yet outside of maybe running into a randomly spawning and pathing Elite monster that likes to eat careless new players for breakfast. Plus, the badguys in the area are just bandits and not goblins or orcs who have more ability to control real wargs.

You just wait until you find the unruly son ;)

"And that's another thing!" he says raising his voice> "I'm trying to get some work done here, so please stop eating the soap-cakes and drinking all my joint tonic!"

Hilarious stuff. Something tells me Lulzy is going to have a lot of the... runs. Runs to Chetwood, I mean. At least her joints ought to be nice and limber!

I'd thought the serious had gotten boring, but then I saw clap-trap and decided I should keep reading.

The_root_of_all_evil:
You just wait until you find the unruly son ;)

Oh he'll have a field day with that one.

Great job shamus, and explains well why I am not doing any other MMO beside WoW. I feel your anger questing with lulzy, WoW quests are exactly as silly, illogic and make you hike all over the place just for a cup of tea and some rusty coppers.

It's sad when the only reasonable motive the NPC's could have for the mindboggling dumb quests they send you on is that they're trying to get you killed. I'm with Lulty, I'll take betrayal over gross stupidity anyday.

Is it my imagination, or does the dog lying next to Ellie look like an exact copy of the blind dogs from STALKER? Maybe it's the texturing.

Man, I could really go for some joint tonic and soapcakes right about now....

Aw, no song this time?

Supp:

The second item is berries. The berries are free, plentiful, close at hand, and guarded by killer bears.

I started to cry when I saw this.

According to Stephen Colbert, the top five threats to america are:

5 Terrorists
4 BEARS!!!
3 Democrats
2 Robots
1 MORE BEARS (no one ever suspects the second bear)

You foolish foolish fool, it's.

5. Bears
4. Robots
3. Bears
2. Robots
1. Robot bears (Shamus I do hope you never ever have to deal with a monstrosity of this magnitude, they can heal, dps, and tank, simultaneously)

Rumor has it this game is going F2P so I'll be you're friend, we can break every charter in the Geneva Convention, perform acts of genocide on a regular basis, and (eventually) look fabulous in matching (only color wise) outfits.

I think laughed so hard at the first page I had nothing left for the subsequent 5:

Since arriving in town I've discovered that the inhabitants can be divided into two groups:

1) Idiots
2) Me

Pure gold I toll ye, pure gold.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here