Critical Miss: #37

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The ostrich is hilarious and knows his shit about movies. He should be the end boss of the next inevitable MS Halo spin-off.

Well done.

Hell you should play as an ostrich!
Or a grunt that would be awsome.


I died at the "Fuck you and your children" part.

And I loved the muse quote as well

Muse quote? As in the band? If so, where? Is it the "his voice is too high pitched for human hearing" part? Its the "his voice too high pitched for human hearing" part.

Amazing comic! One of the best ones yet.

Under the comic, where they state the author of the comics, they always have lyrics. THis week it was "Will show you a god who falls asleep on the job"

Knights of Cydonia

Halo is like an emo kid. Everyone loves to hate it.

Oh yes. I wonder, what did it ever do to all those people - murdered their dogs, or something? I'm not a Halo fanboy, but it gets far more hate than it deserves. Seriously... it gave us sticky grenades, popularized the melee button, and it's at least science fiction, not 24: The Video Game.

Aaaanyway, this comic still fails to amuse me - the only thing that got me snickering is the last panel with it's gratuitous use of "new-ish digger maggots, the latest trend in earthmoving industry!" Second thing that would be funny (if it was there) is a third panel for the "good" column, saying "It's basically Halo 3... WITH JETPACKS!!!" Because seriously. Jetpacks.

Excellent comic, thank you very much!

Playing on heroic so far, not going to bother with legendary, except for coop.

Also, you can try to kill people with forklifts.


I was getting used to Stout getting punched in the face. I'm sad at the moment :(

Skullbert is my favorite Halo character. He's right up there with Mister Chef and Cerebra.

Great, because of the little black sentence in the lower left corner I now feel compelled to go and listen to Knights of Cydonia by Muse!

lol kafkaesque nightmare land

I love this comic series. Seriously.

haha time for the fanboy hate fest! XD

Its the future and they still cant get a bomb to work right lol


Quiet Stranger:
This comic is kind of pathetic (this week anyways)

Disagree, I find it quite accurate. :)

Maybe if you have no emotions

Yay! Muse quote!

Boo! I liked Reach! Although all the negative points are spot on, admittedly. Surely 'Halo 3 with jetpacks' belongs in the 'pros' column, though? Or at least in a separate 'jetpacks' column.
Does anyone remember Emile? He didn't do anything apart from be a little cynical and have a skull on his helmet. That was it.

One of the best thus far. Yahtzee-esque levels of vitriol, nice design, and it brought the funny.

Keep up the good work.

Definitly true, love this Critical Miss. The games of Halo have really no good story attached to it at all. They claim they have but they need an entire novel/movies, whatever they can make up to BUILD it's own universe and story.

I mean, Mass Effect pulled this off in game-format with supplemental things such as a novel or two. Halo thrives off it.

And no, I am not bashing the game for anything else, get off my back.

Laughed many a times.
"Legendary, where fun comes to die." Lmao.
And "F*ck you and your children".

Great comic. Loved it =P.

Quiet Stranger:


Quiet Stranger:
This comic is kind of pathetic (this week anyways)

Disagree, I find it quite accurate. :)

Maybe if you have no emotions

Hmm, emotions? What's that?

Classy bathrobe, Miss Stout. How'd Erin find her way into the trophy room from SSB Melee?

This summed up my thoughts exactly.

*Prepares for the Halo fanboy flaming* They never know when to let an opinion go, bloody elitists.

While I can laugh about the comic, anyone who calls it accurate is kidding themselves though.

The Gentleman:
Well... Microsoft got their money's worth, at least...

And you know they've got the money. Funny how we don't see them wading in against the Governator. Oh I forgot, no-one plays non-console shooters.

You know, I admit I was kind of harsh on Halo: Reach. At about three quarters of the way through the campaign it finally turns into something a reasonable person might play for fun.
I also lied about Erin's favourite character. It wasn't Skullbert Skullington from Skullsville Skullifornia it was Dan Severn.

Ultimately the first panel in the bad column could slip over to the good column if you really liked Halo 3's gameplay or you haven't played an FPS in the past three years. I defended Halo 3 to death when it was first released (in fact my first real big of writing on the Escapist was a positive review of said game.) because it was a solid game that was perfect for it's time but even then the core gameplay was simple. Three years on it's even more so.
Sadly at the higher difficulties you rarely get to use the fancy new equipment, which are literally the only real changes from Halo 3, because if you die, you revert to the good old fashioned sprint. Really, only a Halo game could take sprinting and make it a collectable ability.
Multiplayer is still... you know... Halo multiplayer. There's a satisfying solidity to it that makes it a fun, if clunky, casual jaunt but the entire multiplayer component is inseparably linked with Xbox live. Which is kind of like ordering a Whisky and dogshit chaser at a bar. They finally fixed the matchmaking so you're not getting one round of slayer between six rounds of Shotty Sniper but that's something they should have fixed with a patch weeks after halo 3's release.

In conclusion, Halo: Reach is the first game in a while that has made me angry. Perhaps because I spent money on it that could have been spent on CIV 5 or perhaps because I went to the midnight launch because I fell for the hype yet again. Or perhaps it's because I actually genuinely wanted it to be good.The game felt like Unreal Tournament 3 to me. Not in style or substance but they are similar creatures. Massive franchises that aged too quickly and now feel like dinosaurs in the age of iron sights and customizable loadouts. UT3 felt like a death cry for a series that defined my youth and Halo: Reach, no matter how profitable it will inevitably be, feels the same.

Still the best game I played in a while.

You can't have played any games in a while.

Onyx Oblivion:


Onyx Oblivion:
Fuck yes, ostrich punching!

I'm now imagining that to the tune of the Team America theme. :)


Had to be done :)


Still the best game I played in a while.

You can't have played any games in a while.

That is true, but it was stil bloody brilliant.

Grey Carter:

How much is the rent?

Oh god the hotwheels loop de loop thing made me nostalgia.

Also nice Super Smash Brothers Melee reference.

Stout's head is a little big in the last panel (XBox Live), but it's made up for with them messing around with Hot Wheels.

so this is a rant in comic form, which was really straight forward and not funny.

silly author, no one cares about your opinion. give us funny penis jokes.

I disagree with the most of this comic but dear god did you nail the legendary difficulty right! I LOVE wraiths with precognition that can hit your warthog from halfway across the map before you even see then. I LOVE deploying armor lock every five seconds to deal with grenade spam from dozens of white grunts that don't go down on the first headshot. And I LOVE having my fireteam die within ten seconds of the first engagement.

...and here are the 50 or so people who did NOT buy Reach, everyone else (myself included) did.

HOORAY FOR BEING A GENERIC STATISTIC INSTEAD OF A SNOBBY HIPSTER! (equal insults for everyone including me :D)

OT: I feel like this is a "greatest hits" album for Halo (if halo was a band) and it's just meant to please only those who actually DO enjoy the game, so for that we can't fault it, because it doesn't really try to be revolutionary or anything like that, I knew EXACTLY what i was getting when i picked this up... so the only thing the game could do from there was exceed my expectations (which it did, i was once part of the "halo troll" crowd that just bashes on Halo because everyone else is doing it... but this title is an exceptional exception to me.)

Legendary is difficult, but not significantly more than Heroic, I thought. Otherwise, I guess some of your points hold true. I still enjoyed the game.

"Halo 3 with jet-packs." That's exactly what it felt like to me.

The ostrich punching and the Knights of Cydonia reference made me smile.

XBL being populated by tween banshees makes me happy X360 left my house with my younger brother.

Also, first post!

who the hell buys a halo game for its story? or a CoD game for that matter. they'd mkae more money making the multiplayer component even more polished.

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