Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 11

Shamus Plays: Champions Online, Part 11

It's a busy day for Star on Chest as he helps a gang of mutated scientists and becomes an accessory to several murders.

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That cop really didn't like Westside story I'm guessing.

The escort missions iN Champiosn are all exactly the same. The victim rushes from fight to fight, and the fighst do not appear until the victim comes into range, so ou cannot kill the enemies before they get there.

Wow :S that cop really exceeded his authority... and that superhero seems to have stepped over the line... serious ends justifies the means territory there :/

Someone should've told the cop that martial law is something that's only invoked really rarely. Though with all the jailbreaks and mad arsonists, perhaps the entire city is under martial law and those toughs are violating curfew? Ever play A Mind Forever Voyaging? Something like one of the later simulations, where a cultish theocracy runs the US and have gladiatorial games using heathens and scum who try to get a soylent ration more than once every few days.

Actually, this sort of makes sense. Perhaps the entire city is in some sort of Mad Max post-apocalyptic mode and the superheroes are just another gang - the well-connected one that owns the police - which is why all their stuff is nice and shiny while everything else is on fire. Because even the psychos that roam the streets know that busting a window on a super-owned place gets Socrates bringing down a thousand superheroes on you to beat you up over and over and over again.

Escort missions.

It's as if people thought "gee, how can we make games REAAAAALLLLY annoying?", and then this other guy, a total jerkish moron-face, said "lol make them escort people! Then make it the player's fault if the idiots die! ooh, ooh, and they should charge into combat to help, even though they can't and will only die!"

Then he gets shot to death and nobody mentions escort missions ever again.

Oh no wait that was just a dream.

...A wonderful, wonderful dream...

As someone who plays Champions Online, this was one of the best things I've read in a long time. I've done that escort mission on a few alts and that guy never gets any smarter. If some of those alts weren't able to heal him, I probably would have never known how the mission ended. He is by far one of the most frustrating escorts in the game.

Seriously, though. What is it in Champions Online with escorts asking for your protection, then being the first to dive into a fight? It's one thing if a group of enemies start things off by rushing your escort, but I've had some escorts scream, "Please don't hurt me," while they rush into a group of thugs who were otherwise minding their own business. That's just one definition of insanity right there.

Haha, yeah that mission was always a problem. Aaaaah the sweet, sweet rage. I miss it.
When i get my salary i'm soo gonna re-sub :D

That's a terrible escort mission...

That's gotta be like hell.



Just wow. That's almost Meyer-esque in its plotting.

These Shamus Plays are always so hilarious.

You make the games just seem absolutely horrid though, but they probably are.

I'm glad you brought this one to The Escapist.

Having played Champions, it did have the potential to be a great game. The gameplay is good and if you make good power choices, you have a blast. But the writing is every bit as awful as this series makes out.

The problem is that they haven't learned from the film industry's mistakes. If you treat the material seriously, you get Spider-man and The Dark Knight, fantastic films that fans and non-fans love. If you treat it as parody, play it for cheap laughs, you get Batman and Robin. I think that's why I played City of Heroes for years and Champions for a few weeks, there seemed to be more effort in creating a comic book world like Marvel's or DC's.

ah yes always a wise decision to shoot first ask questions later.

I though NPC's regained health after fighting each mob, guess we see how much of a pain it is when they don't.

Ha! This is like...Unskippable, but CONSISTENTLY funny. Not that Unskippable isn't funny, but there's some dud moments.

Who would use baby seals as a melee weapon, anyway? Their light weight and aerodynamic form makes them perfect ranged missiles.


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