Unskippable: Bladestorm: The Hundred Years' War

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Bladestorm: The Hundred Years' War

It's like a storm. Of blades. And Frenchmen.

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Best way to start off the week!

Amazing!

WOW Joan of Arc kicked major ass!
Those darn flaming dogs. Oh well we didn't need France anyhow.

sooo.....
koei/omega force didn't have enough with ancient china and feudal japan?
oh well
the vid was awesome though
"ohohoh croissant"

I like Dynasty Warriors so that game looked like it could be interesting, but that cutsthene just killed it for me. British accents on French people, people with lisps that only appear when saying merthenary, random battlefield conversations while weakly clashing swords, were the developers even trying to sell that opener?

Hilarious. Did anyone else think the art style changed between the two battles? At first it was almost an anime. Then it flipped to a more realistic style. Weird.

And oh gawd, these guys made Dynasty Warriors? Ouch. I'm going to venture a guess that the game that comes hither from thou cutscene shan't be much better than the aggregate value of cutscene that is hitherto hither already.

What is it with accents in games? Are they all terrible?

Why do women in video games always wear skirts of armor with no leg protection? Was it so dishonorable to stab women below mid-thigh that they didn't have to worry about it? If so was it then okay to stab them in the breast, because there's always plenty of armor there?

A flaming dog?
Come out Sheogorath, I know you're around here somewhere!

I like how the two guys suddenly have a friendly conversation in the middle of a battle. I mean, they didn't even pay attention to the whole sword lock towards the end, they just sort of gazed to the sky talking about ethics absentmindedly leaning on each other.

hawk533:
Why do women in video games always wear skirts of armor with no leg protection? Was it so dishonorable to stab women below mid-thigh that they didn't have to worry about it? If so was it then okay to stab them in the breast, because there's always plenty of armor there?

if monty python has taught me anything is that they always chop off the legs last, and even then they can still bite your shins.

Thanks guys, I really wanted those hiccups. I swear the fantasy games come out the funniest in Unskippable. Well except Onimusha...not sure what to classify that one but definitely my favorite.

Axeli:
I like how the two guys suddenly have a friendly conversation in the middle of a battle. I mean, they didn't even pay attention to the whole sword lock towards the end, they just sort of gazed to the sky talking about ethics absentmindedly leaning on each other.

I was waiting for someone to come along and chop off one of their heads. Would have added a lot more to the conversation. Blurble blurble.

Rex Dark:
A flaming dog?
Come out Sheogorath, I know you're around here somewhere!

Cheese for everyone! No wait, scratch that, cheese for no one. That can be just as much of a celebration if you don't like cheese, true?

OT: I laughed so hard at the "merthenary" part XD

The Almighty Bob was a lesser-known hero of the Hundred Years' War.

Ok, guys, I'm here for the map I let you borrow, despite it being a priceless family heirloom and OMGWTF HAPPENED?!? ... meh. I only needed England.

That was one of the funniest unskippables I have seen in a while. Very well done. The Japanese doing a game based on northern European history is rather amusing and, rather badly done. I really cracked up at the end when Graham really lambasted that bloody barkeep's accent.

I think they missed the point of western medieval warfare by a few hundred thousand miles. I didn't think it was actually about the Hundred Years War until Graham and Paul mentioned it in the video. I just thought it was another awful JRPG/Dynasty Warriors type game. Dear lord make them stop.

The poor map! They never suspect to be randomly burned in the midst of a cutscene...

Great job as always, here's hoping Bob will somehow be written into history!

hawk533:
Why do women in video games always wear skirts of armor with no leg protection? Was it so dishonorable to stab women below mid-thigh that they didn't have to worry about it? If so was it then okay to stab them in the breast, because there's always plenty of armor there?

What always gets me is when women in games and movies wear midriff-exposing armor into battle. Sexy, sure, but definitely not practical.

Wait, does the video-player look different to anyone else? It looks nice, unless I'm just hallucinating it...

Anyway, a good episode.

hawk533:
Why do women in video games always wear skirts of armor with no leg protection?

Two words: zettai ryouiki.
That's the only explanation I can think of.
(Personally, I like seeing that sort of stuff...)

But why do we have to keep seeing maps get burned?! I guess it's supposed to symbolize death and destruction in the depicted lands, but no maps have to get involved in said destruction!

"We'll say a dog did it!" "A flaming dog!"

(Flaming dog? So is THAT where flaming poo comes from? ^_^)

Oh man, I remember when I bladestorm, I could never stop laughing whenever I heard that dudes voice. And since you hear it all the time when you come back from a battle...

Oh God, the voice-acting!

Hahaha, oh man. That was funny. The opening CGI and then the second...set piece of CGI. Completely different.

How did you get through that without making a joke about the french being cheese-eating surrender monkeys? Oh right, back then (up until the second time they exiled Napoleon), the french were badass.

The Great JT:
How did you get through that without making a joke about the french being cheese-eating surrender monkeys? Oh right, back then (up until the second time they exiled Napoleon), the french were badass.

They still are...and France was outright awesome during WW2.

Aww shame it never came out on PC, i wanted to be merfenary too.

hey escapist, just thought I should tell you the more you make me watch that stupid commercial, the less inclined I am to buy a slim jim.

hey wait, if normandy caught fire where are they going to have the D-day invasion? And what are they going to name the ship in mass effect?

Loving the snazzy new video box thing!
I like buttyflies.

Yep, that's what I'd do in the middle of a fight, just stand there and have a nice chat.

I f**king loved this game! It may of had strange cutscenes and the biggest ammount of historical inaccuracy ever. But it was hella Fun!
Anyway that was a really good episode.
And that barkeep, his accent is so strange.

Fantastic as always, and, loved the opening =P

AssassinJoe:
What is it with accents in games? Are they all terrible?

I don't think "terrible" is the correct word... except if you're American and are unfamiliar with British regional dialects.

There are lots and lots of clearly defined regional accents and dialects in Bladestorm, but I wouldn't necessarily call them terrible (a bit hammy maybe) since they are all genuine accents you'd hear in different parts of Britain and Europe.

I really like Bladestorm for it's voice work and for having such recognisable and clearly defined regional accents, as opposed to having a homogeneous Medieval world populated by Americans that a lot of games seem to favour.

Also, the Bar Keep is speaking in a Spanish accent in which it's common to pronounce 'c' as 'th', known as the Castilian lisp.

Ah, yes the continuing adventures of Turdface McStabby, appearing whenever you can choose your own name.

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